We over at Your Straight Male Friends never claim to be relationship
experts. But we are dudeexperts. We’ve got you covered there.
I have an inbox full of emails from ladies trying to understand the
men in their lives. As I recently sifted through them, I noticed one
particular question over and over again:
Why do guys seems to vanish after a few dates? Well ladies– sometimes it IS something that you are doing or saying that makes a man want to run for the hills.
Here are some potential early-in-the-relationship dating fumbles that
set an alarm off for most guys. Stop yourself before you make one of
these mistakes with a man you just started dating.
1. Ex-Talk
Ex-boyfriends will come up. And from my perspective, exes should come
up. I’ve always found that knowing a little bit about the ex and why
that relationship didn’t work out is healthy and informative. You can
learn a lot about a person by listening to how they talk about their
former partner. But when that “talk” makes it obvious that you are still
carrying a torch for your ex-boyfriend– or worse, you show symptoms of
stalker-like aggressiveness, you won’t be getting a call back. What you
should be getting is therapy.
2. Baby-Making
Sure, it’s perfectly reasonable to want kids. But no guy wants to be
sized up for fatherhood at the outset of the courtship. There’s a hint
of desperation in bringing up the topic too early. Even if you’re
THINKING about babies, keep it to yourself. Let me be totally honest
here. Those first few weeks of a new relationship, men are thinking
about two things: “Do I like and respect this woman enough to pursue a
long-term relationship… and when are we going to have sex?”
3. Meeting The Parents
Parental introductions are a major step. Nothing puts the exclamation
point on the statement, “We’re a couple!” quite like meeting mom and
dad. And most dudes are not down for that with just a few dates logged
in. Don’t push– it comes off as desperate and manipulative, especially
within the first few weeks of dating.
4. Being Controlling
Some people can’t help themselves. They just have to manage every
situation. That behavior repels guys, in particular. Don’t try to dress
him, don’t try tell him what to eat, don’t try to get him to exercise…
or to get a job. You started going out with him in whatever state he was
in, accept him or move on. Don’t fall into the typical trap, “He’d be
perfect if I could just get him to change….”
5. Claim-Staking
You’re not a couple until you’re a couple! Four dates in and you’re
changing your Facebook relationship status? That sound you hear is the
screeching rubber and a sonic boom as that guy cracks the sound barrier
trying to get away from you. Have “the talk” about where the
relationship stands at some point, but give yourself and him the time
and space to enjoy the launch of this blossoming romance. It’ll all
happen in time. Or it won’t.
6. Sharing Sexual History Too Soon
This is a delicate subject, so tread lightly. This conversation can
be uncomfortable to most long-term partners, imagine how odd it is to
the new guy to be getting grilled about his sexual history after just a
few dates. It’s an absolute requirement to have this talk at some point,
but it’s got to be handled delicately. And whatever you do, unless he’s
asking or is turned on by the info, do not offer up the intimate
details of your sexual exploits… the dude does not want to hear it. And
he’ll make sure he won’t by not dialing your digits again. Ever.
Written by Marcus Osborne
Single ladies who build a
shell around themselves for a long time, may make men see them as a
no-go area. This is because it does not take men a long time to back out
of a relationship which is time wasting.
Read more: https://www.naij.com/758905-5-things-single-ladies-say-make-men-run-away-number-3-will-shock.html?pk_campaign=ush
