For most couples, a wedding is the
first time you’ll ever have to think about planning a huge event, let
alone creating a wedding budget. That means lots of people start
planning a similar way. First you think about the wedding you want. Then
you think about how much you’re comfortable spending. And then you hope
really hard that the two concepts match up. The problem is, it’s almost
impossible to know how much the event you’re envision is going to cost
until you start getting into the nitty-gritty of planning. Which is how
you end up reading things on APW that start with, “We set a budget of
$5,000 but once we started actually planning, that number quickly
tripled.”
The media would like us to think that these couples just got caught
up in the expectations of the wedding industry and spent $10,000 on
crystal vases. (Silly them. You would know better.) In reality? The
culprit was that they thought chair rentals cost $1 when they really
cost $2. Or they found out their dad would be heartbroken if they just
served sandwiches. Then it turns out that the only wedding photographers
in their area who didn’t call them “sweetie” during the initial meeting
charged $3,000 instead of the $2,500 they were hoping to spend, and not
being talked down to felt like it was worth finding an extra $500 in
the budget. Next thing they knew, the combined total of those surprises
was $5,000 and rising.
We’ve all read and researched the tips and tricks for how to save
money, how to have a budget wedding, and even how to stick to a budget.
But how do you figure out what that budget is in the first place? And
how do you do it in a way that’s not going to give you sticker shock
later?
What follows is a breakdown of how to even set a budget, and then
eleven sample wedding budgets, ranging from $2,000 to $30,000, in a
variety of styles and sizes. Because no matter what anyone tells you, it
really is possible to have a perfect (for you) wedding on whatever
budget you have.
THINK ABOUT THE KIND OF WEDDING YOU WANT TO HAVE
This may be the one part of wedding planning that you’ve already
knocked out of the park. But if not, it’s time to get to dreaming. Do
you and your partner want a picnic in the park, an intimate urban party,
or a huge shindig with all your friends and family? There are so many
different kinds of weddings out there, and so much inspiration, that it
can get overwhelming quickly. You shouldn’t spend too much time on
specifics initially, but you should determine the general feel you want
for your wedding. Think about the look, the style, the people, and the
emotions—all the pieces that will make your wedding unique to you two. I
often tell couples to think about weddings they’ve been to or seen, and
figure out the words to describe them. Because while fun and fancy can
coexist, they don’t always. For example, you may want your wedding to be
low key and relaxed like your cousin’s last year—but a little more
formal, while still avoiding a stuffy feeling. You can even start to
get more specific, think: “Low-key ceremony, with a relaxed upbeat dance
party, and a family-style dinner that feels casual but looks kind of
fancy-ish.”
CRUNCH SOME NUMBERS
Here’s where it’s time to get serious about figuring out how much you
have to spend. Not everyone sets a clear and strict wedding budget
total and sticks to it, and that’s okay. However, for most people in
need of a wedding budget there is some discussion that needs to take
place. Sit down with your partner and figure out how much money you are
ready, willing, and comfortable spending on your wedding. Are other
people going to be contributing financially to your wedding? This is
also the key time to discuss with them what and how they will be
helping.
Sometimes this is a dollar amount
that you can build right into your budget, and other times it’s a
particular portion of the wedding that they’re going to pay (up to a
certain amount) on your behalf. Either way it is important for you to
know before you dive into budgeting and planning.
I know that talking to our families about money isn’t always the
easiest or the most comfortable thing to do, but sometimes it just must
be done. Generally I think it’s helpful to start with the mindset that
your families may or may not be able/willing to contribute, but that you
are asking because it’s better to ask than to miss out. The
conversation could start a little something like: “Hey Mom, _____ and I
have been engaged for a few months and we’ve decided to start thinking
about planning a wedding. We are really hoping to have a fun, laid-back
gathering for all the people that are closest to us. I’m not sure if
you’ve thought about it yet, so no need to answer today, but I was
wondering if you and Dad are willing and able to contribute in some
monetary way to our plans? Whatever you’re able to offer would be beyond
helpful!”
Another number that needs to be crunched at this point is your guest
count. This is the time when you and your partner should open up an
Excel file and start inputting names of people that you want to invite
to your wedding. No matter where you are, or what kind of wedding you’re
planning, the number of guests you plan to invite will make a huge
impact on your wedding budget.
PRIORITIZE
You and your partner should each pick your top three priorities for
the wedding day. These could be just about anything: Rocking music, an
open bar, that photographer your cousin’s friend’s sister had, a
four-tier cake, late night tacos, a live string quartet, tons of
flowers, or any other detail you each feel strongly about. Having this
short list of priorities is just a good idea so that you can focus a
little more money, or time, or energy, on the things that are most
important to the two of you. I recommend making these lists separately
and then sitting down together—you don’t want to be tempted to write
down the same things your partner wrote down; it’s better to have an
honest idea of your priorities!
GET REAL
You should now have a starting number of guests, an idea of how much
money you’ll spend, and a vision of what your wedding might look and
feel like. With these pieces of information, it’s time to start finding
out if it’s all possible. The unfair truth about weddings (and money in
general) is that sometimes the things we wish would work, just won’t.
This is the “getting real” phase. Maybe you dreamt of a huge sit-down
dinner for your 250 closest friends and family, but you only have $4,000
to spend. How’s that going to play out? Tip: while most websites don’t
list budgets on the real weddings they publish, you can start to get a
feel for how weddings come together. What does $4,000
mean when
you want to feed 200 people? When you start seeing how other couples
sacrificed and compromised in their weddings, it can be easier to
imagine how you’ll do the same for yours.
RE-EVALUATE, ESTIMATE, AND CREATE
If your original plans and your numbers don’t match after doing some
quick research, take some time to re-evaluate. Can you spend more money
to make your ideal wedding happen? (And more importantly, do you want
to?) Can you change the type of venue or overall look and feel of your
wedding to make it fit your budget? While there are always ways to
save money, if your budget and your vision are in direct contradiction,
you have to find ways to level out the plan.
KEEP YOURSELF (AND YOUR MONEY) ACCOUNTABLE
I’ve created a template for you to use when building a budget for
your wedding. It is important to note that there is absolutely no way to
create a wedding budget worksheet that fits every one of your weddings.
There are simply too many variables, and suddenly this document would
be twelve pages long. I have included some industry standard percentages
so that you can have a place to start, but you should by no means feel
locked into those numbers—adjust them to fit your priorities and your
event. Getting married in Mom’s backyard? Your venue now costs zero
percent! Is your cousin baking your cake as a wedding gift? Cut that
down to zero! Just remember that this is your budget, and your wedding,
so make adjustments that fit. (Note some things that are not included:
honeymoon, other parties, hotel accommodations, rings, wedding party
gifts, super specific items like rentals, ceremony items, or decorations
for the getaway car.)
Written by Alyssa Griffit
