9 things your parents should never say to you

                                   

Regardless of age, we're still going to have a few minor issues with our parents. It's only natural to disagree and discuss problems with the humans that either gave us life or raised us, and that can happen whether you're 16 or 60. Whether you're living at home and finding the stress of being in such close proximity to your parents a nightmare (been there, it'll get better I promise) or end up arguing every time you go visit them, these tips should help make the process a lil bit easier. Dr Dinesh Bhugra, President of the World Psychiatric Association, says these are the nine things your parents should never say to you.

1. Threats

This one seems crazy, as most of us have lost count of the times we were told to clean our rooms as teenagers or face being grounded/having our games consoles taken away (guilty). But apparently, parents should never use threats to try and get you to do or achieve something. End of.

2. "You're so smart."

Parents should always advise you to "do the best you can." If they're constantly telling you you're the brainbox of the century, it could lead to you making less effort. You might stop trying and subsequently feel pretty crappy when you do something less "smart". Plus, our egos are big enough as it is.

3. "That’s not nice."

Whether you've said something hurtful in a rage (c'mon, we all do it), or done something a bit inappropes, your parents should never say this to you. "Nice" is a ridiculously vague term that's difficult to define or explain. How are you meant to behave well if you literally have no clue how your parents define "well", eh?

4. "Don't cry."

Crying's good for you, we are well aware of that. And if you get sad, and snotty, and teary and over-emotional, your parents should never make you feel bad about that. We, like all human beings, should be allowed to express our (sometimes totally wack) emotions. In fact, our parents should be encouraging us to let it all out.

5. "You're making me angry/sad."

It turns out, your parents' emotions are their own responsibility. And by saying this, they're shifting that responsibility onto you. Instead, they should be saying, "I feel disappointed in

6. "Why can’t you be like this all the time?"

Parents, you've gotta let us be ourselves. This statement doesn't allow us to be the incredible (LOL) people we naturally are. "Remember when you felt like this?" would be a far more productive way of saying the same thing.

7. Combining praise with "but".

"But" should never be used in the same sentence as praise. Like, if your mum said, "I'm so proud of you for getting promoted at work, but you need to get your finances in order," you could be legit annoyed. Using "but" alongside praise sends out confusing messages.

8. "You're such a disappointment."

Anyone who's had this said to them (SO.MANY.TIMES) will know it cuts like a knife to the heart. Having anyone you respect or care about feel disappointment towards you is the actual worst. They should instead say, "You tried your best so what can we learn from it." See, much nicer.

9. "Why can’t you be more like [insert sibling's name here]?"

Look parents, we're millennials, we're already crippled with anxiety and comparison fears thanks to social media, the internet, mainstream media, life in general. The last thing we need is to be compared to our siblings. This can lead to an actual inferiority complex and newsflash, we've got enough shit going on already.

Written by Paisley Gilmour

Paisley Gilmour is Digital Sex & Relationships Writer.She has devoted her time to writing articles o Sex,Relationships and Family.

Tips on making your family a happy family

                               

Families are the essential building blocks of any society and happy families make a happy society. Everyone wants to live in a happy family as family is the place where human beings find the accomplishment of life. Modern families often face multiple relationship issues which have emerged as contribution of the changed lifestyle and les intense relationships.

Living in a happy family is important to mould each and every human being into responsible social beings. Home and families are places where kids and elders live with a feeling of security and also places of sharing, love, care and concern. Mutual understanding, adjustments and love creates the unbreakable bond between family members and if taken care of certain aspects, any family can be made a happy family.

Making a happy family is no magic as it requires just an extra strained nerve, to nurture love, to facilitate communication and to make each feel contented and secure. Let us see few of the inevitable building blocks that make a happy family.

Be There for Each One in the Family

Presence or availability is the most essential bonding factor that enhances the family relationship. Parents should be available for kids in each of their needs and similarly the couples each other. It should be with the family that each of the family members spends most of their time. Never take the work stress or other unwanted tensions home. As you step into the home, the prior concern should be home only.

Find time to talk to each of the members and arrange activities for the entire family to take part. Family prayers, cooking, watching television, outing etc., are perfect family activities to make a happy family. Family should not be considered a place to just rest after the work and eat the food.

Express the Affection and Warmth

Many people say that they love the family and when it comes to the action they remain unexpressive and quite. Family is the place one learns the basics of love, affection, warmth, encouragement and sharing. Express your affection and attachment towards other members in family with gestures, action and words. Telling just the three words 'I love you' makes others understand the depth of your concern for them.

Do not miss an opportunity to be affectionate with the spouse and kids. Let the entire family move on experiencing a warmth feeling. Unexpressed love is equal to no love at all. Encouragement is another important aspect that boosts the happiness and affection in the family. Be lavish enough to encourage the family members in all their attempts and even for the minute successes.

Communicate Frequently and Effectively

Communication is the key to build a jovial family. Be positive in your communication within the family and truly, the positive communication is the language of love. Talk to each other in the family frequently and designating family together times every day is helpful to this purpose. Even between the spouses, talking eases the tensions and promotes the attachment. Never argue or shout at each other unnecessarily. Family should be a place everyone wants to be with always.

Rituals of affection and honor

Experts say that family rituals are mandatory to maintain the relationships. There are specific practicable family rituals same as religious or national. Weekly outdoor dinners, monthly pleasure trips, family songs, visiting relatives, family cooking day etc., are some of the family rituals that are helpful to bind the entire family with the strings of affection. Such activities are also called rituals of honor as they help each of the family members to understand each other and learn to honor them.

Fights, Blames and Anger are Destructive

Parents should be cautious to not fight before the children and blame each other for mistakes. Horrifying expressions of anger is also equally destructive. When one of the family members makes the entire family life worse with such negative expressions, others may feel family as a disliked place to be. When parents fight before the kids, they are, in fact, teaching the kids with a wrong lesson of communication. Children of fighting parents may become rebels and antisocial in the future life.

Equality is the Best Quality

Considering each of the family members equal and not being partial to anyone is the best qualities a family member can posses. When everybody in the family is considered equal it boosts the confidence, security feeling and affection. Accept the opinions of everyone in the family when family related decision are taken and facilitate mutual respect among family members if you wish to convert your family into a happy family.

Source:www.prokerala.com

Common issues regarding the gender roles in a family

                           

Gender roles are defined by the socio-cultural norms of any society. In most of the societies the family systems are based on the gender roles and it is the pre-designed gender roles that help members of the family to run the family with bound responsibilities. Any disturbance in the gender role aspect may affect the smooth functioning of the easy-going of any family.

But today, the modern life has very much changed the family structure and the gender roles have been diverting from the traditional responsibilities and path of performance. In fact, the gap between different genders has already melted down, creating an all equal society and more equalized families. Today, there are no monarchs in families and no bout-to-obey members in families.

All live together, taking decisions together, expressing opinions openly, criticizing and encouraging mutually and yet being independent and responsible. The society-defined gender roles may crash with the modern roles of family members and many families experience the dilemma of the crashing gender roles.

The origin of gender roles can be dated back to the very establishment of the social life. Ever since man started living in societies, they differentiated between the male gender and female gender and implicated specific lifestyle, duties and functional areas for each of these genders. It was quite needed in the then lifestyle of human beings.

Hunting was the only way of finding a living; thus muscular male members took the role of hunters of food suppliers and physically less fit female members took over the role of home makers and cooks. The masculinity helped male gender to dominate the society and made them authoritative in families.

But the time has grown a lot empowering female gender to almost equal status of men and today, they dare to live independent of the help of men and at times, to the extent of questioning men in different aspects. The newly gained power makes women get out of the norms and define new gender roles in the family, which may often result in clashes in the family.

Issues of Equality in Family

The modern social structure sees both men and women as equal partners of the society with equal rights, status and responsibility. This is a sudden change of concepts of a male dominated society. In the families, people who have observed authoritarian father and submissive mothers may expect the same when they setup their own families.

The equal status may disturb the husbands as the laid-underneath superiority elements may require certain amount of time to dissolve themselves and accept the new socio-cultural setup. The aspect of equality will give rise to certain issues too. Who is to direct and who to be directed? Who is the authority in family related issues? etc., may put the family in trouble. If not accepted well and handled appreciably, the family may become like a vehicle steered to different direction at the same time by many drivers.

Clash in Family Responsibilities

Family is not just an institution of many people living together under one roof; but the union of similar minded or mutually loving people bound with certain duties and responsibilities. The gender role structure was deliberately designed by the initial social setups to help the people accept and realize the specific duties each gender bound to.

But today, both the parents work and earn for the family and both father and mother enjoys equal social statues and financial independence. At this point, the role of homemaker becomes no one's responsibility and both the partners may insist the other one to be the homemaker. Adjustments, understanding and empathy are the advised aspects that may help a smooth running family. Clinging to the century old concepts and lifestyles may help only to worsen the situation.

Kids and Gender Roles

Traditional family system had enough time dedicated for the kids as the mother was responsible for the entire process of childcare and development, when the father had to bring in the essential food supplies. But modern lifestyle makes both the parents busy working for the family and earning the amount to meet the demands of life. Kids many a times are left with caretakers or paid nannies.

Such lifestyles may affect the families badly as children may grow unaffectionate to the parents. It is quite difficult for any parent to balance between the modern lifestyle and parenting or homemaker tasks. Kids need to be trained to cop up with the family roles. This will help them to be more understanding and affectionate to parents.

Compiled by Anderson

Source:www.prokerala.com

Nigeria: Over 20,000 Ghost Workers Discovered in Military Pension Payroll - Minister

                       

The Minister of Defence, Muhammed Dan-Ali has said over 20,000 ghost workers were discovered after verification exercise of military pensioners payroll.

Dan-Ali made this known in Abuja at a town hall meeting organized by the ministry of Information and Culture.

He said ghost workers were discovered in the pay roll of the military pensioners which has saved government huge amounts of money.

He also said the ministry of Defence facilitated the administration of Group life Assurance scheme for members of the armed force.

He added that the government has given a special priority to security and has taken appropriate measures to tackle all security challenges.

He said in its effort to improve the combat effectiveness and raise the morale of fighting troops the present administration has procured modern equipment for the Nigerian Armed Forces.

He explained that this is done based on the Government to Government policy which enables dealing directly with the original equipment manufacturers.

He said this approach has reduced the involvement of the middle men/vendors and ensures that only credible suppliers are involved in the procurement process.

Daily Trust Ng

Macron says France uncompromising in fight against jihadists in Mali

                       

France will be uncompromising in its fight against militant Islamists in Mali and the Sahel region, President Emmanuel Macron said on Friday during his first visit outside Europe's borders.

Speaking alongside Mali's President Ibrahim Boubacar Keita at the Gao military base in the north of the country where some 1,600 troops are based, Macron also said France was determined to act for continued security in the region, and would seek to strengthen cooperation with France's EU partner Germany to that end.

"Germany is very present in back-up operations," he said.

"I want to strengthen that partnership and make sure that this German commitment, which is already present, can be intensified." "Germany knows what is at stake here (and) is also part of Europe's security and our future. Neither France nor Germany are isolated islands."

Reported by Andrew Callus and Marine Pennetier

BREAKING: Osinbajo receives 2017 budget from National Assembly

                        

Acting President of Nigeria,Yemi Osinbajo has received the details of the 2017 appropriation bill recently passed by the National Assembly.

The National Assembly passed a N7.441 trillion budget last week.

The document was handed over to Mr. Osinbajo by the presidential aide in charge of Senate, Ita Enang.

The handover was done behind closed doors.

Mr. Osinbajo had said on Wednesday that he would sign the budget when satisfied with its contents.

Source:Punch Ng

Kyiv city signs memo on building fourth subway line with Chinese consortium

                                     

Kyiv City Administration has signed a memorandum of cooperation with a Chinese consortium, consisting of China Railway International Group and China Pacific Construction Group, for the implementation of a project to build the fourth subway line in the city.

According to a posting on the administration's website, Deputy Head of Kyiv City Administration Mykola Povoroznik signed the document during a visit of a Ukrainian delegation to China. The delegation took part in the dialog at the high level at the One Belt, One Road forum.

Povoroznik said that under the memo the Chinese consortium having large experience in building infrastructure projects is a managing partner of the project to build the fourth subway line in Kyiv. The consortium intends to analyze the current state of the project implementation.

"Specialists from China would study the current state of the implementation of the project on construction of the fourth subway line in Kyiv. They would consider technical details, the volume of financing and the legal way thanks to which the project will be completed. The study would also include the assessment of legal and financial viability of the project, including the feasibility study and the estimated spending," he said.

According to the memo, the consortium of Chinese company could act as contractor operating under the Engineering, Procurement, Construction (EPC) conditions and implement projects using the EPC+F (EPC plus financing) model.

The Chinese consortium would help Kyiv City Administration to attract funds of Chinese financial institutions, which would help to establish cooperation with the Chinese government and implement large infrastructure projects.

Source:www.en.interfax.com

Ukrainian airline placed to EU Air Safety List of non-European airlines not meeting standards

                   

The European Commission has placed Ukraine's Urga Airline (Kropyvnytsky) to the EU Air Safety List of non-European airlines that do not meet international safety standards, and are therefore subject to an operating ban or operational restrictions within the European Union.

According to a press release of the European Commission, the company is placed to the list due to unaddressed safety deficiencies that were detected by the European Aviation Safety Agency (EASA) during the assessment for a third country operator authorization.

Following the update of the list, a total of 181 airlines are banned from EU skies.

Urga Airline was founded in 1993. Since December 1994 the airline has been placed on the list of official UN carriers.

Coup Rumour: Air Force chief pledges loyalty to Nigeria

                            

The Chief of Air Staff, Sadiq Abubakar has affirmed the loyalty of the Air Force to the Nigerian constitution.

Mr. Abubakar, an air marshall, made the call during the commissioning of two blocks of flats at Bill Clinton Drive, Nigerian Air Force Base, Abuja.

The block of flats are expected to be used by both transit and married officers.

Mr. Abubakar stressed that the Nigerian Air Force is dedicated to the welfare of its officers and the protection of the country’s territorial boundaries. He called on officials to remain dedicated to their duties.It was reported how the Chief of Army Staff, Tukur Buratai, warned officials of the Nigerian Army to stay off politics and politically related activities as coup rumours spread.

According to reports, the Air Force chief applauded the Chief of Logistics and Director of Works for doing a good job concerning the project.

He added that the two blocks were named after two of its officers, Flag Officer A. J. Layelmenson and Squadron Leader, B.B. Ado who died in active service in Mali.

Lawal Alawo, the Air Force Chief of Administration, earlier said the commissioning of the flats was good evidence that the leadership accorded a high priority to the welfare of its officials.

Source:Premium Times Ng

Court orders final forfeiture of N450 million found in Lagos plaza to Nigerian govt

                                    

Justice Rilwan Aikawa of the Federal High Court, Lagos, on Friday ordered the formal forfeiture of N449,597,000 (about N450 million) found by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, in LEGICO Shopping mall, Victoria Island, Lagos to the Federal Government of Nigeria.

The EFCC had on April 8 said it uncovered a large sum of suspected laundered money to the tune of N448,850,000 in the Shopping Plaza.

Mr. Aikawa had on April 19 ordered an interim forfeiture of the said money uncovered by the commission.

The order came following a motion ex-parte filed by Rotimi Oyedepo, a prosecutor with the EFCC pursuant to Section 17 of the Advance Fee Fraud and Other Fraud Related Offences Act No. 14, 2006.

Mr. Aikawa in his ruling last month, ordered anyone interested in the money to appear before him at the next adjourned date to show reason why the money should not be permanently forfeited to the Federal Government.

The judge also directed the commission to publish in any national daily for anyone to show cause within 14 days why the order for the final forfeiture should not be granted.

However, in his motion on notice at the resumed hearing on Friday, Idris Mohammed, counsel to the EFCC urged the court to issue a final order forfeiting the total sum of N449,597,000 to the federal government.

Source:Premium Times Ng