4 Things Every Son Needs From His Father

                        
I am often asked what sons need from their fathers. My answer really boils down to a few simple but critical things that every good dad must do, built on a framework of providing, nurturing and guiding.

But here's the problem: Too often, fathers think they're doing a better job in these areas than they really are. I've found that these four questions, though, can help a father ensure he's giving his son the fundamental things he needs. (And if a child's father is not in the picture, his mother can use these questions as a guide to help her find male role models who can give her son these kinds of affirmation.)

"Does my son know that he matters to me?"

We invest—money, time and energy—in the things we care about. In other words, if you ever want to know what someone cares about, look at their bank statement or ask them how they spent their time.

The primary way that dads can help their boys understand that they matter is by making them a priority over the myriad demands that life throws at us. With many things competing for a dad’s money, time and energy—our jobs, technology, entertainment, sports, television—it is easy for a child to think that he doesn't matter. It is critical that dads make it clear to their sons that they are a priority, that our most important investment is in them and that all the other "stuff" gets only the leftovers.

"Does my son know that I love him?"

Nurturing means a lot of things. It certainly includes hugging and kissing our boys—yes, even boys need hugs and kisses—on a daily basis and telling them that we love them. But it also includes taking care of their daily needs, like cooking for them, giving them baths, playing with them, reading to them and helping their mothers.

And I have discovered that despite the conventional wisdom that nurturing is primarily mom's territory, the root meaning of "nurture" is "to protect," a role that most dads are comfortable with.

"Does my son know that what he does is important to me?"

A son wants to know that the way he is living his life—his interests, schoolwork, hobbies and passions—is pleasing to his father. And, as a good dad, it is critical for a father to guide his son into the right actions and help him live a life centered on serving others.

However, you can’t expect to teach a son the value of charity if you are not charitable in how you spend time with him. You can’t expect to get him interested in your church’s community-service project if you haven't established a "community" that includes him in your home.

Show him that everything he does is important to you, and then you can show him what is really important—and he will welcome it.

"Does my son know how proud I am of him?"

This boils down to a son's innate need to be affirmed by his father. Your affirmation prepares your son to enter the world with the confidence and "emotional armor" that he needs in order not just to survive, but to thrive. A son needs to know that you are pleased with him, not for what he does or does not do, but because of who he is.

And remember that the way a father affirms his son depends on things like his culture and community and his son's temperament and interests. The objective of affirmation is to meet a son at his particular point of need and to connect with him—heart to heart. Indeed, there is no cookie-cutter approach to affirmation. One boy may simply need an encouraging word at the right time. A special breakfast out with dad may be what another son needs. A formal ceremony or rite of passage might fit certain cultures and situations.

But what all of these acts of affirmation, big and small, communicate to your son is that you are his advocate and that your love is abiding and unconditional.

Written by Roland Warren

Roland Warren is a board member (and former president) of the National Fatherhood Initiative.

He can be reached at rwarren@fatherhood.org.

Guys:10 Things You Should Never Do To Please Your Woman

It’s not news that men will do a lot to please women they are interested in.Most men act childish when they are really in love and this has cost them a great deal. It is not bad to please a woman but over doing it makes one stupid. As a man, you must be smart enough to read in between the lines to know what’s favorable and what’s not.We are not saying you shouldn’t be romantic, it is a good thing to be romantic but not to the detriment of yourself and you should know that, just because something might be done in the name of love does not make it the right thing to do and these are the few you should try as much as possible to avoid or never be tempted to do for a woman, regardless. 

1. Steal For Her

Obviously, we all know where this will end you and by the time you will be back, someone might have taken your place. Never allow anything to push you to steal in order to please your woman because if she later finds out you actually stole a gift for her, she might drop you, unless of course, you are in it together like Bonny and Clyde.

2. Pay For Her Education

It is not a bad thing to support her education, if you can help but to take full responsibility for everything to your own detriment can be dangerous. We are all humans and we change from time to time, most men actually think funding a girl’s education means they’ll be forever indebted to them, ending up getting married to them but we’ve seen several scenarios where the women will end up finding love elsewhere. This has been suicidal to many men.

3. Buy Her A House When You Don’t Have One

Common sense should tell you, you should build your dreams together but not favor her and think of yours later. Building a house for a woman when you don’t have one yourself can make you is wrong in every way. When she finally jilts you and lives in it with another man. There are many men still biting their fingers over this.

4. Fight Another Man Because Of Her

Fighting because of her doesn’t prove anything. Two things are likely to happen, either the person beats you to a pulp and end up in the hospital or you will beat the person and end up in jail, either way, you don’t win. Unless it is for self-defense.

5. Reject Your Family Because Of Her

A family is everything and no matter what, you can’t reject them because your woman doesn’t like them. It will be very dangerous on your part to reject your family all because of a woman.

6. Change Your Appearance

These days, there are many men doing a lot, taking pills to make changes to their bodies all because they feel that’s what women love. Changing you to please a woman means the moment you stop trying she’ll go, ideally, people you be with should love you for who you are.

7. Give Up On Your Dreams To Satisfy Her

So there are many men out there who gave up on their dreams to help their woman achieve theirs or were discouraged by women. These same women dumped them afterwards. Never do this after reading this.

8. Being Over-Submissive

It is nice to be sweet to your woman but always learn to set the records straight and don’t try to always appear weak to her and succumb to all her wishes in the interest of pleasing her. Truth is, women actually hate weak men and will prefer you’re sweet and sour.

9. Starve Yourself For Her

Never forfeit your food for her, at least you can share but to give all to her and go hungry, that’s not love, that’s stupidity.

10. Kill For Her

Never ever even think about executing such an atrocity for a woman no matter how convincing the situation is, because if you end up in jail, another man will take your position.

Written by Kwaku Darko

12 Things Mature Men Don’t Do

                                 
It seems that we as a society have forgotten some important values, and are generally becoming more immature as a result. There doesn’t seem to be a differentiation between manliness and egocentric chauvinist behavior in a lot of people’s minds, which is truly sad. You have people saying things like 30 is the new 20, and grown men acting like entitled spoiled children. The truth is that once you’ve stepped into your mid-20s you should have gained enough life experience to be able to behave like a mature adult.
The thing is, few young people – and too few older people as well, I’m sad to say – don’t really know what it means to be a mature man. A truly mature man is a strong and confident individual, a diligent provider, passionate and caring lover, brave protector, problem solver, careful listener, a safe port in a storm and a friend you can depend on.
Being a confident individual who knows a thing or two about life, understands that others depend on him and has his priorities straight, a mature man will never exhibit behaviors associated with inexperienced, immature and weak people. Here are the things that mature men don’t do:

1. They don’t let fear keep them from achieving happiness and success
Fear – whether it be fear of failure, fear of being reprimanded or fear of being rejected – is something that keeps most men back. Living in fear means being docile and never seizing big opportunities, which can negatively impact your career, love life, interpersonal relationships and mental well-being. A mature man knows that fear is always present, but he knows how to deal with it.
He doesn’t hesitate to put himself out there and take some risks, particularly when the only consequence to taking an action will be a slightly bruised ego or a bit of discomfort. Mature men live on the very edge of their comfort zone and take frequent trips into the wilderness that lies beyond that edge.
  
2. They don’t go do things just to please others
You often see young guys who start working out to impress girls, men who read up on wine tasting or art just so others perceive them as classy, and you also have those who go out of their way to come across as smart, so that their boss and coworkers will respect them more. Mature men are not motivated by what others think – their actions are motivated by a sincere desire to improve, learn and develop in a direction that they themselves have chosen.
They train to be healthier and stronger, they read books and take classes to expand their knowledge and develop skills in areas that they find useful or interesting. In other words, they know who they are and what they want, and although they respect others’ opinions, they are only governed by what they believe is the best choice. 

3. They don’t create an idealized image of a woman in their mind
Many relationships fall apart when immature men realize that the image of the ideal woman that they have put on a pedestal and have been admiring all this time doesn’t really sync up with reality. Many guys go from zealous admiration to misguided misogyny when their deluded expectations aren’t met by real women. Women are just like men – they have their strengths and weaknesses, admirable traits and forgivable faults, desires and fears. A mature man knows this and feels much more at ease with women, seeing them as his equal, and can thus develop sincere and healthy relationships. 

4. They don’t get baffled by a woman’s words or actions
Even though mature men treat women as equals, they are aware of the simple fact that men and women are fairly different on a number of levels – e.g. from a biochemical, psychological and social standpoint. We are brought up differently and our brains are wired differently, and a mature man understands that women communicate, argue and are emotionally affected by things differently than men are.
This is why such a man is not easily baffled or angered by a woman’s words or actions, and is more than capable of seeing things from a different perspective and picking up on subtle cues – it’s not about mind reading, just about developing a deeper understanding of the female psyche and body language cues. 

5. They don’t hold grudges

Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. – Buddha

Arguments will happen between family members, friends, lovers and coworkers, it is inevitable if you spend a lot of time with someone. However, a clear sign of maturity is the ability to cool off after an argument and let go of all the negative feelings. You will hear the phrases “I’m sorry,” “forgive me, I was wrong to do that,” “oh, just forget about it, it’s nothing, really,” and “water under the bridge” spoken by mature men, as they give and receive apologies and move on with their lives. Harboring resentment will poison your relationships and lead to unhappiness.
  
6. They don’t feel insecure about their appearance and style
Another big issue many men have is that they feel insecure about the way they look, dress and act. Insecurities lead to fear, anxiety and anger, which will negatively affect your life in many different ways. Insecure men are afraid to experiment with fashion as they don’t want to be considered feminine, and they don’t feel comfortable in their own shoes.
The world has evolved, and fashion sensibilities have drastically changed. There are a number of fashion accessories that can e worn by both sexes, and you don’t even have to sacrifice utility for style. A mature man is confident in his appearance and unique fashion sense, and doesn’t care about a few people disapproving or making negative comments. 

7. They don’t distance themselves from their family
As the years go by and we mature, keeping strong family ties becomes more apparent. There are some instances where it is not possible for a family to stay close, but most of us can afford to spend a bit more time with our parents, relatives, wife, and kids. Quality family time strengthens bonds and a mature man sees himself as being part of a larger codependent group. 

8. They don’t allow people to bully them
There is a difference between being confrontational and being assertive, and it is not something that immature guys really understand. Mature men have the self-respect, self-control and confidence to set and enforce boundaries – if others try to push too far and bully them, these men will stand their ground and project a strong dominant energy. They cannot be coerced into doing something that they don’t want to do, nor will they sit by and let someone walk all over them. There is no need for them to resort to violence or shouting in most cases, as they can solve problems by standing tall and speaking up for themselves in a strong stern voice. 

9. They don’t moan and despair when faced with challenges
Defeatism and moaning are things that a mature man sees no need for, and has no time for. When faced with challenges this type of man will remain collected, even helping calm others and keeping their spirits up, and work on finding the right solution. Often sacrifices have to be made and plenty of hard work put into solving big problems, but this is not something that men should shy away from. It is a simple rule that these men abide by – either put forth a constructive solution or stay quiet until you can find one. This makes the people around them feel safe and stay positive. 

10. They don’t see their job as something boring that they have to put up with
While some people just view their jobs as something they need to push through mindlessly, so that they can go home and do what they want, the mature way of going about it is to give your best at your job and look for opportunities to improve and take your career to the next level. Mature men realize that others depend on them, so their career is a very big priority. Constantly improving and striving to earn more so that you can provide for your loved ones and still be able to afford some luxuries that will make you happy – this is the goal that these men set for themselves. 

11. They aren’t afraid to take action and make difficult decisions
There will be times in everyone’s life where hard decisions need to be made, and to overcome adversity you often need quick thinking and the ability to take actions at the right moment. A mature man will make reservations in advance when he wants to take his date out out, talk to his boss about a promotion opportunity, sit his friends down and talk them out of doing something stupid even if it means that they will get mad at him, put himself in danger to protect his loved ones or sacrifice his comfort to ensure their happiness. This doesn’t mean that mature men always know exactly what to do or have the ability to handle any situation, but they will try to the best of their ability to ensure a favorable outcome. 

12. They don’t set unrealistic goals
Some people will often get disappointed and quit because they have set unrealistic goals for themselves, right from the start and are then unable to achieve them. An important aspect of maturity is being able to correctly gauge your capabilities and be honest with yourself, which allows mature men to set more realistic goals. They are patient enough to dedicate themselves to slowly making progress in the long run and understand that the ultimate goal isn’t attaining quick results, but sustainable results.

Written by Ivan Dimitrijevic

MEN; 5 Strategies for Raising Financially Smart Children

                                        
  Raising financially smart children in the modern world can be a real challenge. Their lives are full of material desires and marketing from an early age, their parents often commit financial mistakes themselves and they often do not see any reason to be concerned about money when their needs and most of their desires are met. How can a concerned father pass on smart financial lessons from an early age that manage to get around these difficulties?

First, the best thing you can do to raise financially smart children is to practice smart finances yourself. You can't expect to teach your children a lesson you do not follow yourself. Spend less than you earn, get rid of debt, work toward large financial goals and don’t be afraid to mention you’re doing these things to your children. Walk the walk first, but don’t be afraid to talk the talk.

Here are four additional key strategies that will further those key lessons.

Have a consistent allowance policy. There are good arguments on both sides of the question of whether or not to give an allowance to your children. Some argue that an allowance is an opportunity to teach children the cycle of money management, while others argue that it boils down to paying children for household chores they should do anyway. I fall into the former camp, so my wife and I give our children a small allowance each week that’s not connected to household chores and responsibilities (which are handled with other penalties if they’re not done).

Regardless what you decide, be consistent. It’s hard for an allowance to teach useful lessons if you change the policy constantly. Once you’ve decided on a policy, stick with it for at least a year so your children can see the full benefits and drawbacks. We’ll touch on these more in a bit.

When they receive or earn money, make them put aside some for the future. It’s a financial disaster if adults spend every dollar that comes in as soon as they receive it. Children should never think that such rapid spending is normal or good behavior.

Instead, you should establish that saving at least some of the money you earn is normal. When you have money, you save part of that money for the future.

In our house, we have our children save for medium-term personal goals as well as the long-term goal of college. Medium-term goals usually take the form of expensive toys or hobby kits and the money is saved in a jar in our kitchen, while long-term savings is usually done in a savings account. Our children are required to pit aside a portion of every dollar they get – from their allowance and gifts – toward both of these savings.

Encourage entrepreneurial opportunities, and serve as the “banker” for small ones. It is valuable for children to learn they need to work in order to have better things in life, so it’s a good idea to give your children an entrepreneurial bent from an early age.

One successful way to do this is to have a “job board” in your house that includes tasks that go far beyond normal household chores, along with a small reward for completing them. Children can then take on tasks as they choose and earn a bit of additional spending money.

Another approach is to encourage your children to start their own microbusiness, like a lemonade stand. This gives them the opportunity to see that in order to earn money, you have to invest money. We usually “sell” our children some of the basic resources at a low price, like charging a quarter for cups and a quarter for a gallon of lemonade, and then they have to sell like crazy to get the money back and earn a return on their business.

For teenagers, introduce the realities of your finances one piece at a time. As your children begin to climb into adulthood, teach them how adult finances actually work– working for income, paying bills, budgeting, saving for retirement and so on.

The best way to start is to introduce them to bills that are relevant to them, like the Internet bill or the cellphone bill. Show them the bill and talk about what it means and how that amount has to be paid each and every month in order to have that service.

Another approach is to show them a copy of your family monthly budget, with line items explaining each and every bill that you pay as well as where the remaining money goes (savings, eating out, entertainment, etc.).  You don’t have to get into the specifics of every dollar, but this kind of big picture shows your child that you have to spend less than you earn in order to build any sort of strong financial future.

The biggest key of all? Communication. If you aren’t communicate financial ideas to your children , none of the above strategies mean anything. Talk about money with your kids. Explain why you spend less than you earn and why you’re saving for retirement. Explain some of the spending options you have and why that means you can’t afford a new computer or a great vacation every year. Talk to them with maturity and grace, as if they were an adult, and they’ll listen.

Teaching financial lessons is one of your most important responsibilities as a parent. Teaching them well will pave the road to financially successful children who can fly on their own, while you stand back and watch their journey with pride.

Written by Trent Hamm

Trent Hamm is the founder of the personal finance website TheSimpleDollar.com, which provides consumers with resources and tools to make informed financial decisions.

Police capture Syrian refugee over 'planned terror attack' in Germany

                        
German police have detained a 22-year-old Syrian man suspected of preparing a bomb attack following a nationwide hunt.
Police in the eastern state of Saxony tweeted on Monday that Jaber Albakr was detained overnight in Leipzig.
Albakr, from the Damascus area of Syria, escaped the authorities on Saturday during a raid of his apartment in nearby Chemnitz.
Investigators said they found "several hundred grams" of a volatile explosive hidden there.
The raid came after Saxony police were given a tip from Germany's domestic intelligence service that Albakr may be planning an attack.
German media has reported that Albakr is believed to be connected to Islamic extremist groups.

International Security Seminar in Lagos and Abuja

          

          The theme of the two-day seminar is “Analyzing Security Levels in Nigeria” with special focus on:
• Terrorism (Boko Haram insurgents, Niger Delta Avengers, Herdsmen);
• Kidnapping –for ransom, for ritual;
• Armed robbery/cultism;
• Corporate security lapses;
• Contemporary protection matrix.  

Time:Wed Oct 12 2016 at 04:00 pm

Venue: SuruLere, Nigeria 

 

Trump To Clinton: ‘You will Be In Jail’

                            

During the US presidential debate,Donald Trump Attacked his rival Hillary Clinton again for using a private email server, Donald Trump told his rival he would appoint a special prosecutor to go after her and if he’s elected president, just one of many barbs in what proved to be an incredibly negative debate.

“I hate to say it, but if I win I’m going to instruct my attorney general to get a special prosecutor to look into your situation,” Trump said. “Because there have never been so many lies, so much deception.”
Trump said that Americans are “furious” that the FBI declined to recommend prosecution after investigating Clinton’s use of a private email server while she was secretary of state.
The stage was set for an acrimonious debate before the two candidates even set foot in the town hall meeting, and the pair kicked it off by skipping the standard handshake.
The candidates remained visibly irritated with one other, with Trump frequently interrupting and talking over Clinton. “I know you’re big into diversion tonight, anything to avoid talking about your campaign and the way it’s exploding and the way Republicans are leaving you,” Clinton retorted.
The real estate magnate also implied that Clinton did not legitimately win the Democratic primary, saying she beat Sen. Bernie Sanders, “but not fair and square in my opinion.” Trump also said he was surprised to see Sanders “sign on with the devil,” presumably referring to Clinton as Satan.
At one point, Clinton said it was good that someone with Trump’s temperament was not in charge of U.S. law. “Because you’d be in jail,” Trump interjected. Clinton ignored the comment.

Receptionist Training in Atlanta! - Atlanta, GA

                                        
HRC International is in the global business of connecting the best possible employers with the best possible employees in the hospitality industry. We achieve this by establishing long-lasting relationships and never putting profits before people. In doing so, we rank among the world’s leaders in international hospitality training and career development.

HRC International specializes in career programs and management positions in leading hotels and resorts in the international hospitality industry since 1995. HRC has been providing life-changing career experiences for 5,000+ young hospitality professionals at some of the finest hotels around the world.

Train at an International Downtown city hotel in the Rooms Division with a rotation of Reception, Reservation Agent and Rooms Controller!

HRC's career USA Program offers Hospitality internships,traineeships, J-1 visa training, management positions,and hotel jobs in the USA.
This training gives you international work experience in the U.S. that you can  use abroad.We have placemens opportunities all over America such as New York,Atlanta,San Francisco,San Diego,Los Angeles and more.
This International Downtown Atlanta Property featuring 1200 Guest Rooms is seeking a passionate hospitality professional! Train throughout the Rooms Divison in the following positions: Reception, Reservation Agent, and Rooms Controller!
Explore Hot 'Lanta and visit the World of Coke, the largest Aquarium in the world, Stone Mountain, and plenty of festivals to keep you busy all year round. If you're looking to expand your skills in a Fast Paced environment, this life changing opportunity is for you! 

Placement Remarks

You will need to be flexible as you may train during the AM, PM or swing shift.
Benefits: Free meals and uniforms are provided. The hotel will provide up to 2 weeks of accommodations based on the candidate's arrival and the hotel's occupancy.

Personal Time Off (PTO) would be available after 91 days of employment. The PTO is based on the amount of hours the employee works determines how many days they have accured.

**Time off may be granted or denied and is based on business levels. It is not a guarantee. Time Off needs to be conducive to training and business levels. Please speak with your manager and request time off well in advance of making any travel arrangements or commitments.**         

Salary

$11.00 per hour     

Apply

Interested? Apply online at www.hrc-international.com or send your resume at careers@hrc-international.com 

We at HRC International are looking forward to meet you and to support you with your next step in hospitality.

HRC International Inc
339 Johnson Ferry RD NE, GA 30328 Atlanta, USA
Phone: (0031)43 351 0070
Fax: (0031)43 351 0057
E-Mail: careers@hrc-international.com
Internet: www.hrc-international.com

Contact person: Floris Drabbe
Position/Department: Career USA programs

HRC has offices in the Netherlands, United States, China, Italy and Bulgaria.

National Poetry Competition UK

                            
The Poetry Society was founded in 1909 to promote “a more general recognition and appreciation of poetry”. Since then, it has grown into one of Britain’s most dynamic arts organisations, representing British poetry both nationally and internationally. Today it has more than 4000 members worldwide and publishes the leading poetry magazine, The Poetry Review.
With innovative education and commissioning programmes and a packed calendar of performances, readings and competitions, The Poetry Society champions poetry for all ages. As well as the Foyle Young Poets of the Year Award, The Poetry Society runs the National Poetry Competition, one of the world’s longest-running and most prestigious prizes for an individual poem, and the Ted Hughes Award for New Work in Poetry – the prize founded by Carol Ann Duffy from her honorarium as Poet Laureate.

“The Poetry Society is the heart and hands of poetry in the UK – a centre which pours out energy to all parts of the poetry-body, and a dexterous set of operations which arrange and organise poetry’s various manifestations. It has a long distinguished history, and has never been so vital, or so vitalizing as it is now.” Sir Andrew Motion

A charitable organisation, we provide support, information and merchandise for specialists and the general public. We engage with and support diverse poetry audiences.
Through events, publications, The Poetry Café, promotions and prizes we ensure the highest artistic quality; we create a central position for poetry in the arts and continue to build new avenues to promote poets and poetry in Britain today.
Our education work provides development opportunities for poets, teachers, pupils, and emerging writers, creating a central position for poetry in education through our advocacy and links with national arts and government initiatives.

How to enter

The National Poetry Competition is one of the world’s biggest single poem competitions. The entry fee is £6.50 for your first poem, and £3.50 per poem thereafter.Members of The Poetry Society get a free second entry. The closing date is 31 October 2016.

“I felt a bit like Charlie opening his Wonka bar when I received word that I’d placed in the National Poetry Competition. I have greater faith now in my writing instincts and stand a little taller when I tell someone I’m a poet. I would encourage anyone who feels called to this art form to celebrate it by entering the National Poetry Competition.” – Carolyn Oxley, National Poetry Competition 2015 Third Prize Winner

Entering online Visit npc.poetrysociety.org.uk to enter online. You can enter your poems into our online form and pay securely by credit/debit card.

Entering by post

1. Read the competition rules to make sure your poems are eligible. Please remember that poems must not exceed 40 lines in length. The title of your poem does not count toward the line limit.
2. Your poems can span up to two pages each but pages must not be double sided – please do not staple pages together!
3. Download your competition entry form through http://poetrysociety.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/NPC2016-EntryForm.pdfand post your complete form, poems and payment to:

 NPC 2016
The Poetry Society
22 Betterton Street
London
WC2H 9BX
UK