How to Break Up With Someone You Love

Ending a relationship is painful, especially so when you’re still in love with them.
It’s confusing and tricky and you never really know what to say or how your soon-to-be-ex is going to react.
There’s one thing you need to understand before you break up with someone you love, and that’s never to end a relationship like a coward.

Let’s face it, it’s really easy to ignore a lover for a few days until they get pissed, call you up and yell at you.
And then you give your lover a ridiculously lame excuse and wait for them to say they can’t take this relationship anymore.
And then you grin a sigh of bitter relief because you could avoid the confrontation.
There’s another easier way too, and this is actually the most common way to break up especially when you realise you are not compartible.
Ask yourself these questions:
1.If your partner asks for a second chance, would you be willing to give a chance?
2 Do you think you’d have a change of heart in the middle of the conversation?
3 Do you constantly have second thoughts about breaking up? Do you wonder if you should change your mind?
4 Are you just angry with your partner based on present circumstances?
5 Would you prefer to take a break in the romance before you call the relationship off?

 How to break off from a relationship

1. Don’t avoid your partner before breaking up. Most lovers who want to end a relationship try to avoid their partner and distance themselves with silly excuses. Understand that your partner deserves to know what’s going on in your mind and has every right to know the truth about your feelings.
You can express your views that you’re not happy in the relationship, but you should never ignore your partner’s calls or avoid them in person.

2. Remember the reasons. We love clutching at straws and looking at the good side in everything, especially if it involves a big change in our lives. Don’t be afraid of change, especially if it will make you feel better and happier.
This can seem childish, but make a list of all the reasons why you want to break up with the one you love. It will give you the strength to stick with your decision even if a few days pass since your last argument.

3. Having the conversation. Call your partner and tell them you need to talk about something important. Don’t elaborate on what the discussion is about, but make it clear that you want to talk about the relationship.
You can meet your partner at your place or at a fairly silent restaurant or a coffee shop. Always remember to do it face to face. Speaking over the phone seems so much easier, but it’s insulting to the relationship.

 4 Don’t throw accusations. A break up can be one sided or mutual, but there’s no reason for either of you to throw accusations at each other. It’s an easier way to get straight to the point, but it will not end in a good way nor will it iron your conflicts away.
It’s natural that both of you will have your opinions, and either of you are entitled to your strong opinions, so there’s really no point in creating a conflict here.

 5 .The breakup conversation. If you don’t know how to break up with someone you love, you can use the first few lines of this conversation, and the rest will follow…
You: There’s something I’ve wanted to talk about for a while, but I just didn’t know how to bring it up.
Partner: What is it?
You: I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m very happy with the way things are going in our relationship.
Partner: What? / WTF?! / Are you serious? / Why?
You: I’ve given this a lot of thought over the last few weeks and we’ve spoken about our differences too, but it just doesn’t seem to be getting better. These constant conflicts are actually making both our lives painful and miserable. Maybe there’s no way forward here and we just have to accept it. Perhaps we’re perfect individuals but not really perfect for each other.
Partner: What are you trying to say? / Where are you going with this?
You: I think it would be best if we go our separate ways. Both of us are obviously not happy in this relationship even though we love each other

 6.Walking out of the relationship. Once you’ve patiently explained the reasons in a calm voice, and both of you have decided to end the relationship, you need to walk out of the relationship without bearing any ill will towards each other.
You may feel a wave of overwhelming relief and yet, a painful realization that you’ve just broken up with someone you love. It’s normal to feel conflicting emotions, so don’t worry about it. Decide whether you want to stay as friends or whether you’d like to avoid each other for a while until the wounds can heal.

Written by Amelie Lee