WIFE:Help Your Husband to Lead When He Doesn’t Know How

                                 

If a husband doesn’t know how to lead his family…

If your husband is lacking leadership abilities because he didn’t have a role model or his role model was a poor example while your man was growing up, you can do the following:

• Pray for the Lord to bring Godly men into your husband’s life.
• Encourage him to be in the Word of God.  If this is not something he normally does, then make sure he sees you doing it.  Your actions may spur him to get into the Word as well.
• Encourage him to attend men’s conferences that are centered around the Word of God.
• Encourage him to read books on Godly leadership that applies to marriage/parenting.
• If he’s open to reading and learning, buy him a book or two for Christmas!  But if he would be offended by this, then refrain from doing it.
• Pray for the Lord to give him a desire to grow as the leader of his family.
• If you’re leading, then take a step back so he can take a step forward.
• Ask him questions about how he wants things to happen in your marriage, family and home life.  He may not have answers right away, but give him time to process, and then when he does know what he wants, then follow his lead.

If your man is insecure about his leadership abilities because he’s been torn down and discouraged by family, friends, co-workers, etc., then you can do the following:

• Let him know how highly you think of him.
• Build him up.  Speak highly of him in front of others.
• Encourage him in his areas of strengths, talents and skills.
• Praise him for the good things he’s doing in his life and praise him for what he’s doing in your marriage and family.
• Praise him when he’s starting to lead.
• If you have a tendency to lead, then take a step back from being in control of your marriage and family life.  Keep handing the reins over to your husband.
• Pray for the Lord to give him a desire to grow as the leader of his family.
• Ask him questions about how he wants things to happen in your marriage, family and home life.  He may not have answers right away, but give him time to process.  When he does know what he wants then make sure you follow his lead without grumbling, criticizing and second-guessing his decisions.  Remember, you are wanting to build him up so he’ll continue to lead.

In my own life I did not have Godly role models to help me to know how to be a Godly woman, wife and mother.  I had to learn how to be a woman after God’s own heart.  In fact, when my man asked me to marry him, I freaked out.  Yes, I wanted to be his wife, but I didn’t know how to be a Godly wife; one who was submissive, respectful, and one who was like the Proverbs 31 woman. Submission, respectfulness, and domestication were three areas that I didn’t know a thing about! It’s like those 3 things and me were like oil and water.  I didn’t know how they would ever mix together but I did have a desire to learn, however, I needed help.
I needed to be encouraged to grow in the Lord.  I needed a lot of grace and praise.  What I didn’t need was criticism nor a husband who took over my areas of responsibilities   If he did those things, then it made me feel worthless and incapable of growing as a Godly woman.  I’m thankful for my man’s encouragement, praise and patience.  Those three things were exactly what I needed to grow as a Godly wife!

Now, what a husband needs when he doesn’t know how to lead or if he’s insecure about his abilities, is a wife who is gentle, compassionate and one who believes in her man.  You’re loving and encouraging support will cause him to blossom into his leadership role.

Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you.  2 Corinthians 13:11

Written by Jolene Engle