The problem of abusive relationship

                             

Relationships can make or mar, depending on its content and quotient. It is instinctive in human to expect from relationships, to invest in them emotionally. But while some are fortunately blissful to be blessed with positive bonds of human ties, there are those sweltering under the throes of abusive relationship.

What is abusive relationship

Anything ranging from emotional blackmailing to that of bashing and irrational bouts of anger is to be clubbed under abusive relationship. Not only physical violence, but stray bits of emotional bullying, insulting, threatening and humiliating are the different facets of abusive relationship. As distinguished from relationship based on health and trust, abusive relationship is marked by compulsiveness, domination and show of force. Love irrespective of its depth and kind, can never be marked by violence and show of force. Love needs to be distinguished from obsession and at times obsession of the compulsive kind guides the basis of abusive relationship.

Different symptoms and signs of abusive relationship

Obsession giving way to possessiveness, jealousy and zealous urge to seek one sided control are the leading ABCs of abusive relationship. If you are in love with someone, it is natural to demand and expect. But simultaneously, love should make way for breathing space, mobility, mutual respect and co-operation. Dictionary of love is free from the zealous urge for domination. With domination being one of the thresholds of abusive relationships- people in such relationship are generally victimized by blackmailing; unwillingness to consent may result in swearing, kicking, pushing and bashing.

How to recognize the signs of abusive relationship

In fact, odd displays of physical abuse come later down the line. It generally starts off with emotional ones which can take different forms of bullying. In fact, no partner truly in love will really like breathing down your throat. So trying to get too close for comfort can be one of the initial signs of abusive relationship.

Expectation should in no way force you to make people work with heavy hands. While relationship is definitely about committing, it can never involve coercion. If the process is mutual, things should occur with flow of time and not as an end result of coercion. With the other trying to lead you by the nose, you have every reason to read the impending fallouts of an abusive relationship.

In its worst possible manifestation, abusive relationship can take the form of sexual violence. Forceful show of lust and desire to overpower the partner sexually are some of the worst illustrations of abusive relationship.

At times, people may even resort to blackmailing for sexual exploitation of different kinds. You have good reasons to be warned of a partner insisting on blackmailing for the sheer satisfaction of his lustful needs. Remember, it is being used as a tool of abuse more than anything else. Physical intimacy and sexual act should be mutually acceptable and any show of brutal force is one of the manifestations of abusive relationship.

You may also find him/her interfering into your choice of friends and issues about dealing with opposite sex. Unwillingness on your part may give way to physical blows and bruises. In fact, marks of sprains and those of cuts or bruises are the ways whereby you can recognize a person/friend in throe of domestic violence - a kind of abusive relationship.

When and how to get out of abusive relationship

You need to track the signs of abuse in a relationship . See, if your partner makes you feel worthy or not. If he resorts to demeaning ways in the name of love and care, there are reasons to be aware of. You can choose to confide in a common friend or well wisher. He/she can help you with the way out by way of mediation and otherwise. But it is important to trust in someone who will listen and act out rather than take sides and be judgmental. In fact, psychological counseling is one of the best options for overcoming torments of an abusive relationship. There are clinical and counseling centers ready to help you out of such crises. If you feel that there are little or no grounds for correction, you may walk out of it as well. Safety and self worth matter more than carrying on with an abusive partner.

Culled From The Internet