Invest in Your Wife

The Scriptures are the best, most proven, and most authoritative "Investment Tip Sheet" you'll ever read. Like having a copy today of the Wall Street Journal that will be published 40 years from now, the Bible tells you how to invest in your wife's life today if you want to experience a fabulous return in 40 years. And, by the way, as her stock goes up, you will share in the profits!

Your wife needs your creative energies if she is to become all that God created her to be. To help you in this area, here are some of the best tips I know for giving both of you a rich return on your investment.

 Here are five major tips that can boost you on how to invest in your wife

 Investment 1: Treat her as a fully participating partner.
Today the business world has all kinds of partnerships: silent partners, financial partners, equal partners, controlling partners, minority partners, and more. But in marriage, God intended for us to have only one kind: a fully participating partnership.
The apostle Peter sets forth the concept of mutual partnership as he instructs a man to treat his wife as "a fellow heir of the grace of life." Although her function and role as a woman differs from yours as a man, she has an equal inheritance as a child of God.
When you recognize your wife as a fully participating partner in your life and marriage, you build her esteem. If you exclude her from your life, you devalue her worth as a person and her identity suffers. Without realizing it, you send your wife an unmistakably clear signal that says, "I don't need you. I can live my life without you."
Some husbands believe that the most difficult words to say are: "I love you" or "Will you forgive me?" But the three-word admission that seems the most threatening of all is, "I need you."
A man may fear he will lose his wife's respect if he admits his need, but I've experienced quite the opposite. When I express my absolute need for Barbara, she is so built up and encouraged that she is free to respect me even more. I do not lose my identity as a man by expressing my dependence on her.
You will make your wife a participating partner in your life when you tenderly look her in the eyes and say, "I need you." Why not make this an experiential reality in your marriage by frequently saying:

• "I need you to listen as I talk about what's troubling me. And I need your perspective on my problems and your belief in me as a person."
• "I need you to help me become the man God created me to be."
• "I want you to have total access into my life. I need you to keep me honest in areas of my life in which I could stray from Christ. You may question me or confront me on any issue."
• "You are the person I most trust with my life."
• "I need you for your advice, judgments, and wise counsel on decisions I face, especially at work."
• "I need your prayers for a temptation I am facing."

I want to encourage you to let your wife into the interior of your life. Are you keeping her out of some area of your life? Do you tend to act independently of her in any area, including career or business. She may be more interested than you think. What about financial matters? She most likely will offer a perspective that you need to hear. A difficult office relationship? Her advice might solve the problem.

Investment 2: Protect her.
The apostle Peter also exhorts husbands, "You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman." Peter's emphasis here is on "understanding" because she is a "weaker vessel." Your wife wants a man who understands her and her needs.
Your wife needs to feel safe, secure, and protected. As her husband, it's up to you to provide that security. I was reminded of a woman's need for protection years ago when I attended a conference. During the event, a young woman was raped in her room. Later, when the speaker told the other conferees what had happened, I noticed an interesting phenomenon. Instinctively, and in unison, as though led by an orchestra conductor, nearly every husband in the audience tenderly slid his arm around his wife. Likewise, almost every wife slipped closer into his protective embrace. It was a physical gesture of a woman's need for safekeeping and a man's natural desire to protect his wife.
Certainly, you already protect your wife physically. You wouldn't think of having it any other way. You discourage her going out at night if it is dangerous. You protect her by encouraging her to lock the car when she goes shopping. You talk about what to do if a stranger forces his way into the house. And you provide the kind of security she needs at home for the times you are away. All these statements and actions demonstrate that she indeed is valued and that you care about what happens to her.
But are you protecting her from other muggers in her life, such as:

• Overscheduling, letting her life get out of balance, and becoming driven?
• Others' manipulation of her emotions and time?
• Her own unrealistic goals or expectations, which set her up for failure?
• Her tendency to compare herself with others—where she repeatedly comes up short in her own eyes?
• Burnout at work? At home?
• The children, who would take advantage of her weaknesses that they know so well?
• People who repeatedly discourage her?

Obviously, you can't protect your wife from every pressure, worry, fear, or loss. But you can do your best to anticipate many of these problems before they occur and to establish a solid security system for her protection.

Investment 3: Honor her.
When God established marriage, He knew that one of the greatest components for building worth into another person would be honor. We see this in His command to each husband: "Grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life." Webster defines honor as "high regard or great respect given; especially glory, fame; distinction."
Every marriage is susceptible to leaks, and ours is no exception. The world lures my wife with glittery, false promises of fulfillment and true significance. If I fail to honor her and esteem her as a woman of distinction, then I ignore the reality of her need and the deceptive power of the world's promises. It's just a matter of time before she will begin to wear down and look elsewhere for worth.
The following are a few techniques to honor your wife that can give you a competitive edge while also building your wife's self-esteem:
First, honor your wife by learning the art of putting her on a pedestal. If you focus on honoring her and caring for her needs, and on nurturing her as your most valued relationship, then you can truly make a difference in how she feels about herself. Capture your wife's heart by treating her with respect, tenderness, and the highest esteem.
Second, honor your wife by recognizing her accomplishments. Frequently I look into Barbara's eyes and verbally express my wonder at all she does. She wears many hats and is an amazingly hard worker. At other times, I stand back in awe of the woman of character she has become. Her steady walk with God is a constant stream of ministry to me.
Third, honor your wife by speaking to her with respect. Without careful attention, your tongue can become caustic, searing, and accusing. Washington Irving once said, "The tongue is the only tool that gets sharper with use."
If your wife works outside the home, she has some unique needs for honor. She may need the practical honor of a free evening once or twice a week when you volunteer to do it all: Put the children to bed, clean the kitchen, do the laundry, etc.
Fourth, honor your wife by extending common courtesies. You may think that these little amenities were worthwhile only during courtship, but actually they are a great way to demonstrate respect and distinction over the long haul. Common courtesy is at the heart of servanthood; it says, "My life for yours." It bows before another to show esteem and dignity.

Investment 4: Develop her gifts and horizons as a woman.
First, help her grow as a Christian. Your wife is your number one disciple. Do you encourage her spiritual growth? It's the smartest thing you could possibly do. When your wife grows in this area, not only does she triumph at life, but you benefit as well. Help her to grow spiritually by praying regularly for her and with her—at bedtime, in the morning before leaving for work, at mealtimes. It will encourage her.
Interact together over God's Word and its application to your individual lives, as well as to your family. Encourage your wife to employ her spiritual gifts in service to others outside your home if she has time.
Second, develop her talents. Take part in her life by nurturing the development of her dormant talents. Like fruit seeds that never have been planted in fertile soil and watered, your wife's gifts may need your care in order to germinate.
If you already have done this, you know that she responds to this personalized focus. She feels that you value her and are helping her to expand her life and utilize her gifts so that she might be even more productive. Perhaps your wife already has influence. Can you supply additional resources so that she can become even more effective?
Third, help her develop new horizons. Most of us fail to anticipate major change points in the lives of our wives, such as the birth of a child, children's teen years, menopause, and the empty nest. When your children leave home, your wife will suddenly have enormous chunks of time and attention to devote to another worthwhile cause. Are you developing her today so that she will be ready to take some risks later?

Investment 5: Assist in problem solving.
Isn't it interesting that, for most men, work gobbles up most of our most creative problem-solving energies, our best leadership, and our most noble attitudes? Home usually gets the leftovers. One of my friends has on his office desk a plaque that reads, "Save a little for home."
Your wife would benefit if you saved a little more for home too. Start by considering this question: What one problem in your wife's life, if solved, would truly strengthen her? Is there a complete roadblock in the way or just a small boulder? How could you remove it?
Here are some ideas:

• Watch your wife carefully. Observing her life may turn up problems that can be isolated and solved quickly.
• Get the facts. What exactly is the problem? Whose responsibility is it? What is the cause of the problem?
• Discuss your alternatives together. Be sure to find out what your wife really feels is best in the situation. She may be too close to the problem, or she may know what needs to be done and simply need your leadership and backing to take action.
• Go to God in prayer. Ask Him for the wisdom and resources to solve the problem. Be careful of procrastination; make a decision under God's leadership and then help your wife to implement it.
• Evaluate the results. Inspect what happens. Refine the decision and its implementation through thorough analysis of how things are working out.

Does your wife have an area or two in which she consistently fails? Time management? Budgeting? Meal planning? Problem solving at work or at home? You can help. By choosing to develop her in these areas, you encourage her growth so she can better handle the pressure. But you have a choice. Either develop her to handle the responsibilities or come alongside her to help accomplish the tasks.
She needs you to help her become all God created her to be.

culled from www.familylife.com

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YOUR INTERNAL BEAUTY

YOUR INTERNAL BEAUTY- Pst Sam Oluwatoye

FOCUS VERSE:   1 Timothy 2: 9-10      
   In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; but (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.

BIBLE READING:  1 Timothy 2: 1-15

Have you discovered that so many people are always concerned about how they look? Well, I think as humans, it is natural to be concerned about our looks because that is what other people use to judge us when they get to meet us for the first time. As a matter of fact, the Bible says that Prophet Samuel was convinced about Eliab being the chosen King by God when he first met him. However, it has also been discovered that this first impression that people have when they see us for the first time based on looks does not last. No matter how appealing you are at first sight, it will take a lot more than physical appearance to sustain a good impression. Apostle Paul was aware of this and that was why he instructed people using the women as a case study to look beyond external beauty but give more preference to internal beauty.

If you are used to women, you would know how important it always is for them to make their hair, use a lot of facial make-up, ensure that they have a color match on their clothes, shoes and bags, organize their walk and arrange their communication. While all this is very good, we are encouraged to ensure that we do not overdo many of these things as what makes for a beautiful life is beyond the external looks but the internal looks also. Apostle Paul in our devotional today encourages that we should be modest in external looks. This is why I would always encourage people to spend a lot more on their personal development than the way they look outside. Some people can do anything just to acquire what they need for external beauty. As a matter of fact, I have seen some wives fight their husbands over fashion and so many other things that do not last. Thank God for my family because we have certain principles that give preference to internal beauty over external beauty. For example, in my home, my wife and I had agreed long ago that we do not buy family arranged costumes ‘’aso ebi’’. This is because we have discovered that most of such clothes become useless after their use and most times, people have to go an extra mile just because they want to purchase those clothes. Well, it may not be the same in your home but the principle should remain the same and that is to give more preference to internal beauty.

The encouragement this morning is to give preference to character which Apostle Paul calls good works. This is what brings about a more lasting impression of people about you. Your character defines you more than anything else. Don’t be the kind of person who is so handsome or beautiful on the outside but wicked on the inside. Let your inner beauty reflect God. Be kind, nice, friendly, warm, exciting, and loving to people. I pray that we shall all reflect the image of the Almighty God in our lives in Jesus name.

The action point you need to take this week is for you to place more priority on a good character than external beauty from now on.

TODAY’S CONFESSION:                           
1. I reflect the nature and the character of God everywhere I go from today in Jesus name.

2. My life is an example to all those who come in contact with me for good in Jesus name.

3. The blessing of the Lord is evident all around me and everything that concerns me from today in Jesus name.

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Femi Otedola crashes kerosene price to N50/litre...calls it Buhari Kerosene

Following the chairman of Forte Oil, Femi Otedola, decision to sell House Hold Kerosene (HHK) at N50/litre, being over 50 per cent reduction of its current pump price, the billionaire oil magnate has effortlessly made a grand entrance into the pantheon of Nigeria's 21st century crusaders.

 He calls it 'Buhari Kerosene' and has ordered that all his fuel stations across the country should henceforth sell HHK at N50/litre in furtherance of his decision to identify with President Buhari's bid to ameliorate the hardships faced by millions of Nigerians daily.

Ten Commandments of Parenting

 
Whether you are considering your parental responsibilities with a new child, or even reaffirming these biblical principles with your older children (It’s never too late!), or even as grandparents toward your grandchildren, the following “ten commandments” from God’s Word are sure to benefit you, your family, and your church.

1.  Pursue Righteousness in Your Marriage
Husbands, you need to show your children how a husband loves his wife, even as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25).  Do they see you giving yourself up for her?  Are they observing how you tenderly and patiently lead her, teach her, and protect her?  Your example in the treatment of your wife will teach volumes about Christ’s love for His beloved bride, the church.
Wives, to your children you need to model biblical submission as you subject yourself to your husband in everything (Ephesians 5:24).  Do your children see how you work out your submission to Christ in respectful submission to your husband?  Your marriage is a living, breathing example of the church’s willing submission to her Head, the Lord Jesus Christ.


2.  Confess Your Sins to One Another
You need to confess, when appropriate, your sins to your family (Proverbs 28:13), and seek their forgiveness when necessary (Matthew 6:14-15; Colossians 3:13).  As you are quick to confess, you are demonstrating true humility and an ultimate desire to be pleasing to God in all your ways (2 Corinthians 5:9).



3.  Pursue Sexual Purity
Be very careful to protect your home from the sexual immorality of the world we live in.  That means you need to abstain from sexual immorality yourself (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8), and otherwise promote sexual purity in your home (Proverbs 5-7).  The pursuit of sexual purity should govern your entertainment choices, season your speech, and guide you when you’re in public or private, especially when you think no one else is looking or listening.  Your own sexual purity will protect you and your children from the heartbreak known well among a depraved generation (Proverbs 5:7-14).


4. Evangelize Your Children and Others
Because of your great love for your children, endeavor to be a consistent witness to them of your own faith, as well as speaking often to them about the nature of their relationship to the Lord.  Live in such a way around your kids that you are fulfilling the spirit of Paul’s command to Timothy: “Do the work of an evangelist” (2 Timothy 4:5).  In addition, as you have opportunity, proclaim the gospel to others with whom you come in contact, thus hopefully instilling in your children the same desire to share this eternal message (1 Corinthians 15:1-4).


5.  Teach Your Children the Word of God
Regularly teach your children God’s Word, both by your life (desiring to be models of Christ-likeness to them; 1 John 2:6) and by your proactive and consistent commitment to family worship.  Especially as fathers (as well as single mothers too), you have the responsibility to impart the truth of Scripture to your children for their great good (Deuteronomy 6:4-9).




6.  Discipline Your Children
When your children need correction (which, when they are young, may seem to be “ever and always”), discipline them with what the Bible calls the “rod of reproof.”  Those parents who truly love their children will desire to do this in a caring, consistent, yet firm manner, attempting to avoid harshness and anger.  Scripture says that when you do so, children will cease their foolishness and become wise (Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13-14).
7.  Watch Your Words Carefully
Words are very powerful tools for good or evil!  They can either build up or tear down.  Speak to your spouse, your children, and others with godly wisdom so that you may edify and encourage (Proverbs 4:24; 6:12; 10:32; 19:1).  Your children are watching you intently, and what you say (including how you say it), will have deep and lastly effects on them.  Train your children not to speak unrighteously (Ephesians 4:29-31).
8.  Show Your Children Your Own Love for God and Man
Love your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-40).  The greatest gift you can give your kids is to show them your all-consuming love for Jesus Christ!  What should flow from this passion is also your love for your neighbors, which certainly includes your immediate family.  Extending beyond this circle of influence is your desire to live a pure and undefiled spiritual life, which is demonstrated by visiting orphans and widows in their distress, and keeping yourself unstained by the world (James 1:27).  Pray that your example of love will have great impact on on your children.
 
9.  Ask God for Grace and Strength in Your Child-Rearing
The Bible commands you to rear your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).  Thus, child-rearing is not an option.  Thus, the remaining question should be: How well are you doing as a parent?  To whatever degree you perceive you are succeeding or failing in the task, and regardless of what will be the initial outcome and ultimate destiny of your children, ask God for much grace and strength to be a parent who glorifies Him.
If you’ll follow these “ten commandments” of parenting, the Lord will sanctify you and bless you.  Furthermore, your life and doctrine can be useful to the Holy Spirit in demonstrating the saving power of the gospel to your children.  The rest we must leave in the hands of a sovereign God.
May God continually remind all of us of our solemn parental task to leave a legacy of godly faithfulness to the succeeding generations.

Culled from http://www.gty.org
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Consequences of Adultery

The counterfeit pleasure of an affair can never overcome the ways infidelity can destroy a life and marriage. We were praying for someone who was cheating on his wife. And I was struck by what one person said in his prayer: "Lord, work in his heart so that he will think less about the pleasure he is experiencing and more about the pain he is causing."
That seemed quite appropriate to me. A spouse who is caught up in adultery is living only for the moment, caught up in a fantasy of excitement and desire, and ignoring the very real consequences.
Recently a seminary paper came across my desk titled "100 Consequences of Adultery," written by Philip Jay, a student at Phoenix Seminary. The list provides a stark wake-up call about the ways infidelity can destroy a life and marriage. Here's a selection from Jay's list, presented with his permission:
If I committed adultery...

1. I would need to seek forgiveness from my Lord.
2. I would suffer from the emotional consequences of guilt.
3. I would spend countless hours replaying the failure.
4. My wife would suffer the scars of this abuse more deeply than I could begin to describe.
5. My wife would spend countless hours in counseling.
6. My wife's recovery would be long and painful.
7. Her pain would grieve me deeply and compound my own suffering and shame.
8. Our relationship would suffer a break in trust, fellowship, and intimacy.
9. We would be together, yet feel great loneliness.
10. The reputation of my family would suffer loss.
11. My sons would be deeply disappointed and bewildered.
12. My grandchildren would not understand.
13. My friends would be disappointed and would question my integrity.
14. I would lose my job at church.
15. My witness among neighbors would become worthless.
16. My witness to my brother would be worthless.
17. My testimony among my wife's family would be damaged.
18. I might never be employed by a church again.
19. I might never be in men's ministry leadership.
20. I would suffer God's discipline.
21. Satan would be thrilled at my failure.
22. Satan would work overtime to be sure my shame never departed.
23. My wife might divorce me.
24. My children might never speak to me.
25. Our mutual friends would shy away from us and break fellowship.
26. I would bring emotional pain to the woman.
27. I would bring reproach upon the woman.
28. My zeal for ministry would suffer and possibly result in others not continuing in ministry.
29. My health would suffer.
30. I might have to start life over again.
31. This same sin might be visited upon my family for four generations.
32. If the woman is married, her husband might attempt to bring harm.
33. He might divorce her.
34. An unwanted child could be produced. 

It's a pretty sobering list, isn't it? What's even more sobering is that many people will consider these consequences and still proceed in their sin. The fantasy is more important to them than the reality.
Also note that, though thhttp://www.familylife.come list reflects a man's perspective, nearly all the consequences would also apply to a wife committing adultery. The biggest benefit of this list may be in helping all of us realize the need to set up strict safeguards to ensure that we are faithful in our marriage commitment. If I am convinced of what adultery would do to me and to my family, I will watch my wandering eyes, guard my thought life, and avoid any situations that could put me in harm's way.
The fantasy is just not worth it.
Culled from  www.familylife.com

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MY FATHER:MY FIRST LOVE

Getting love for a daughter from her dad is a huge thing. How he treats her sets the tone for so many other relationships in her life. Every boy or man she meets will automatically be measured against her dad, and that relationship. He is her ultimate standard and role model for manhood.
So, dad, if the relationship is open and warm, your daughter will be confident and will expect those same good things from the young men in her life. She’ll likely make good choices about who she spends time with.
Of course, if your relationship is distant or cold, she may relate to young men as a reaction against what she had with you. She’ll be looking to fill a void or get something she never got from you, and she may be desperate enough to settle for less than the best, a counterfeit, or someone who gives her lots of attention, but for all the wrong reasons.To a girl, a father is her first love.To a boy, a father is his first hero.

So how can you be her first love? Here are two brief points to consider:

1. Be an active listener. Really tune into her words, but also her expressions, body language, and everything else. Honor her thoughts, dreams and ideas. Don’t rush to a conclusion or a judgment. Listening shows you care.
2. Make sure she knows you think she’s beautiful, inside and out. Many girls today feel pressure to look a certain way, and sadly, some dads contribute to that pressure. But our daughters need to know they’re beautiful to us just as they are. They don’t have to prove or change anything.
Just as important is affirming her inner beauty. Spend enough time with her that you really know her gifts and strengths so you can give sincere compliments on her sense of humor, her loyalty, courage, intelligence, or sensitivity toward people.
Basically, dad, seek to win her heart and make her feel cherished. You’re already her first love; you just need to give her a positive idea about what that means.

For a son, when he first dreams of being a superhero, he’s hoping his dad will show him how. We know young boys will find heroes in animated cartoons and movies. Later it’s a sports star, or maybe famous actors or rock musicians. But over and above all those stands you, dad. Your sons look to you as a hero first and foremost. And you don’t have to earn that title; it just comes with your role.
Of course, you can give up that title or neglect the responsibilities that come with it, but it really takes some doing to not be your son’s hero. He has already given you that assignment. So the question to ask is “How can I possibly fill that role?”
Dad, you already know. You need to live out virtues every day that your son can see and emulate. Be noble. Have courage. Demonstrate integrity. Put the needs of others above your own. Respect women. Stand up for what’s right.
It comes back to modelling. Your son needs a living example of what it means to be a man, a husband and a father. It’s something you need to be intentional about.
Be positive even in the face of conflict—with neighbors, your boss, or maybe the boy’s mother, after a difficult divorce. That goes a long way to teach your son how to function in tough situations with heroic resolve.
Model courage when you confront him on issues or behaviors he needs to change, and then hold him accountable. Model humility and courage when you go back and ask for forgiveness after you’ve been insensitive or too harsh with him.
Model how to love when you show him physical affection even when he gets older and it seems a bit awkward. Also, when you make the effort to listen to him and keep open the lines of communication.
These are just a few ways to be your daughter’s first love, and your son’s hero. How have you been your daughter’s first love and your son’s first hero?
Action Points for Dads on the Journey

• Sit with your daughter in her room and let her talk for at least 5 minutes straight, without any interruptions, as she shares about her day. Just listen. And be ready to share if she asks about your day.
• When relating to your daughter, instead of thinking, “What’s the answer here?” ask yourself, “What’s she feeling right now?”
• Tell your son about your desire to be a great dad, and what that should look like day-to-day. Ask him to “call you out” any time you drop the ball.
• Take your kids with you to volunteer at a local shelter or food pantry. Demonstrate that healthy manhood includes serving others.
• If you’re married, let your kids see that you love their mother. They need to see your heroic commitment to her; they can draw great security from that, and you’ll be setting a great example.

  MY FATHER:MY FIRST LOVE was written by Casey Carey
Carey Casey is the CEO of the National Center for Fathering, a nonprofit organization seeking to improve the lives of children and establish a positive fathering and family legacy that will impact future generations by inspiring and equipping fathers and father figures to be actively engaged in the life of every child.http://www.fathers.com

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