MEN:Real Men Don’t Beat or Rape Women

                                                       

Constance Johnson was a domestic violence prosecutor – and also a battered wife.

She met her husband, Ben, in college and fell in love. They got married and were very happy for three years.

But then he began criticizing her. Everything was her fault. He was always right. And she was too fat — at 110 lbs.

After they moved near her husband’s aging parents to help them – Ben’s idea — the violence began. He didn’t seem happy after the move and one morning he decided he didn’t like his breakfast.

“Make it yourself.” Constance told him.

Suddenly A SLAP

Did he really hit me?

“Did he really hit me?”

Next, Ben shoved her onto their bed and told her not to “make him” hit her again. Later, he said he was very sorry.

Eventually Ben and Constance both entered law school, but after Ben dropped out to take over the family business the abuse escalated. After Constance graduated and developed a successful practice it seemed that the more successful she became, the more violent he got.

She finally left him for good after he held a gun to her head in a fury.

Transforming “weak” feelings into “manly” emotions

This story of Constance Johnson, which she titled, “Her Toughest Case,” reveals a huge problem with patriarchy. Men learn that manhood is all about being number one, being in charge, never showing vulnerability, never expressing emotions, and transforming any “weak” feelings into anger and rage – “manly” emotions.

Men learn that they are supposed to be powerful. But they aren’t always.  And when they aren’t, too many try to create a sense of power by hurting women – including those they love. When they beat down a woman, or take over her body in rape, they feel strong, at least for a few moments.

In my mind the greatest problem with patriarchy, at least for men, lies in “tough guy” ideals that look powerful but actually reflect weakness.

Boys learn that “real men” don’t show emotion or reveal what’s hurting inside. But this only leads to an inability to deal with problems and personal trauma.

How is this manly?

How is this manly?? It is not. It is childish. The “tough,” “domineering” ideals of patriarchy reduce men to children who can only express themselves through “grown up” temper tantrums that result in violence directed at others. I cannot for the life of me understand how this is considered manly.

We must redefine what it means to be a man – which may be difficult because the redefinition MUST include traits that are considered feminine — like expressing emotion in a healthy way.

Manhood includes compassion and understanding, not narrow thinking and an over inflated sense of entitlement. It is understanding that women are essential to men’s very existence and loving them for that.

Looking in the mirror

I will do my best to facilitate changes in my own life, and encourage my friends to take positive stances on sexism and what it means to be a man. I will also speak up when I see injustices occur, whether they be against women or anyone else.

I suspect I still do many things that are sexist without even realizing it, but that’s what the learning process is about: learning to make yourself into a better person – to the benefit of yourself and everyone else.

Written By Ted Esparza

www.broadblogs.com

Why Men Aren’t Really Men Anymore

                            

There was once a time when men used to be real men. When they dressed with style, when they had a certain honor code they followed that involved treating not only their elders and each other with respect, but women alike. Unfortunately, those days are far- gone — a thing of the past. What we have now is… to be quite honest, I'm not sure.

There are of course certain men out there who still have their affairs in order, but we are few in number. What people are most often subject to is the company of boys who are refusing to grow up and man up — boys who prefer to play with their toys than to do their part in bettering society, the human race and the world as a whole. These poor excuses for men have the bodies of adults and the mentalities, as well as the social outlook of toddlers. Horny toddlers, but toddlers nonetheless.

It's all about character — or in this case, the lack of character. Something has been happening during this era dubbed the “information age.” Social media platforms have taken away the need to interact face to face, taking away the need for actual interaction. This is great in many regards: you can now keep in touch with friends and family all over the world from a handheld device.

However, much of the interpersonal confrontations are now also taking place online. People no longer feel that they have a need to meet in person to discuss their differences; they can now troll each other online. People are using the Internet as a shield, hiding behind IP addresses in order to speak their minds. The Internet acts like beer-muscles. It makes you believe that you are stronger than you actually are, making you more aggressive. There is nothing wrong with being aggressive when circumstances require it.

Personally, when my fight or flight response mechanism kicks in, I always go with fight. It's not by choice; it's just the way that I am wired. Online, people have no need to run away because they are already in hiding — so they always choose to “fight.” Although the fighting they do is just about as significant as the fighting I do when I play Call of Duty.

The same interaction from beneath cover can be seen when we look at the intercommunication between men and women. It is no secret that both men and women alike have sexual urges. Men, however, feel the need to get off more often than most women. So instead of having to spend the time to meet a real woman and have actual sexual intercourse, they watch porn.

Instead of going out into the real world and meeting women, they stalk women on Instagram. People now date online as well. It's much easier to talk to a woman online than it is in person—or rather, it's not that it's easier. Both are just as easy, but for some reason, men now prefer to hide their faces behind their monitors. (Every time I use the term 'men' in such context I quiver) It's out of fear and laziness. Men have become lazy pussies. I don't even want to use the word pussy because it brings to mind women, who nowadays have much more character than men.

Generation-Y is the instant gratification generation. We want what we want right at the moment we figure out that we want it. We are willingly giving up one of the most important things in life: the waiting period. Having to wait and having to deal with our urges and wants without instantly having them satisfied is what builds character and is what we are now lacking in this fast-paced age.

If we want food, we order it online and have it delivered. If we want to listen to our favorite song, we find it on YouTube, iTunes or Spotify. If we want to watch a movie, we either buy it on demand or stream it online. If we want sex, we masturbate. If we want to have a good time, we do drugs. We have this false belief that doing things faster will give us a life more fulfilled — that it will lead to us being happier. But that isn't the case. Most of us aren't happier. We do more, but we experience less. We are never in the moment because we are always considering what we will be doing next in order to not become bored.

Character is most often built during those moments between activities, during moments of solitude and reflection. Men no longer feel the need to pause and reflect because the options for whatever it is they want are only a click away. The options are endless and therefore we never truly experience disappointment.

We never really feel that we are missing out on something because we no longer give things much importance. Jackie never got back to your text message? I'm sure you have several other women in your contacts that you'd equally like to f*ck — once. Then you'll get bored and move on to the next one. Men treat women like interchangeable commodities. I do believe that most men still hope to one day fall in love and settle down. But none of them will unless they change their way of thinking and living.

Being focused on self-satisfaction will lead to nothing but broken relationships. Real men are not selfish. Real men are just as concerned for the feelings, needs and minds of women as they are for their own — not just women's bodies and their sexual usefulness. Real men have a well-defined code of ethics and respect that they follow.

How can anyone call himself a man if the last time he had to confront another man — whether it be over a social incident or for business purposes — was before he hit puberty? If you don't have the twiddle-diddles to approach a woman at a bar in person and have a proper, intellectual conversation, making the woman feel respected and comfortable, then move over for the real men.

It's awful because women are becoming accustomed to such boys and believing that these pansies are all that is left of our sex. Some great women are settling for these fools and then finding that they themselves have no choice but to wear the pants in the family because their “man” is PMSing. All I can hope for is that the law of evolution will see the world rid of these weaklings, these characterless, hopeless pseudo-men.

Ladies… real men do exist; there aren't many of us, but we're survivors and will be around for a while. Come find us.

Written by Paul Hudson

A young writer, philosopher, and entrepreneur, Paul Hudson (@MrPaulHudson) has been writing for Elite Daily nearly since the start. He primarily addresses the successes and downfalls of love and life.You can follow him on Twitter @MrPaulHudson

www.MrPaulHudson.com

Self Discipline: The Lazy Man's Enemy

                      

The world is full of people who have a desire to change. They set goals then sit down and write a step by step process of how they are going to accomplish these goals. They get pumped up and say they are ready to start the next day. They go to sleep that night and in the morning… there’s no change. It is easy to get yourself pumped for change when you say you’ll start tomorrow.

You can talk all you want about change, but what makes things happen is your self-discipline. You have to have the willpower to make the changes on your own. Being self-disciplined makes you a better person. You are able to accomplish more, improve yourself, and have more experiences.

Many people take the lazy road because it’s easier. They talk and talk about the kind of person they want to be. They even say what things they would do to change, but it never happens. Developing self-discipline is difficult. You can’t be lazy and have self-discipline, those two can’t go hand in hand. I have always valued self-discipline and I strive to push myself farther and farther; to extend my limits.

A few years ago I worked for an organization that helped people. It was at this time that I learned my greatest lesson about self-discipline. The president over my area was an amazing man and his wife was just as impressive. They have traveled the world together. He can speak over 12 languages, he is an entrepreneur and self-made millionaire. He ran 100-mile marathons through the mountains of China and hiked without guides through the jungles of Africa. Needless to say, he is one of the most amazing people I have ever met.

I had the opportunity to meet one on one with him several times. On one occasion I asked him how he and his wife had come to do so many things and travel to so many places. He told me what it comes down to is being disciplined. You have to know when to say yes and when to say no. You have to know your limits and have the determination to push yourself through them.  I asked him how he became so disciplined. He told me that there are two things you need to do to accomplish this.

1. The first and most important step is to tell people you are self-disciplined.

Once you have a reputation to live up to, you push yourself harder than you would have before. Knowing that people expect something from you will help to keep you in check.

If you want to become organized, tell me people how organized you are. If you want to be healthy, tell people about the healthy foods you eat and exercises you do. Once people have an image of who you are in their minds, you will find yourself working to keep that image alive. That is when you find yourself changing.

2. The second piece of advice he gave me was to start small.

If, for example, you feel that part of becoming self-disciplined is waking up earlier, don’t just set your alarm an hour before your regular time. You have to train yourself to go to sleep earlier. Instead of focusing on the morning, focus on what you do at night so you can get to bed sooner. That way, waking up earlier won’t be as difficult.

By taking small steps, you can change gradually. This can be difficult sometimes because it’s hard to see the difference it’s making in your life. Grand gestures and extreme changes are easier to see and make it seem like you’re getting somewhere. The truth of the matter is that those grand gestures never last. They are short lived because you didn’t truly change the habit or fix the problem.

Not only should you start small, but most importantly, you need to recognize the little successes that are happening around you. Not everything will happen all at once. It comes one step at a time. Praise yourself for your accomplishments, no matter how trivial they may seem.

It sounds like a vicious cycle, but in order to develop self-discipline, you have to show discipline. As difficult as it may sound it is possible. Implement these steps into your life and you will find yourself changing and becoming a better person; the kind of person you want to be


Written by Kathryn Mott 
Kathryn Mott is a writer, a mother, a wife and now a student. She was working in SEO but now is starting a new part of her life. She is looking forward to starting school this year. You can follow her on her blog about life, learning and SEO at kathrynmott.com.

2019: Nigerian Youths will take their destiny into their hands

                          

Green Nigeria, a coalition of young Nigerian professionals cutting across ethnic, religious and political party lines has called on Nigerian youths to take their destiny into their hands by participating more actively in politics and governance. According to the group, Nigerian youths have been kept on the wings of leadership for too long. In a statement signed on behalf of the group by Tonye Isokariari on Thursday, February 17, Green Nigeria noted that “The combination of institutionalized youth exclusion, poverty, illiteracy, lack of equal access to opportunities and frustration with bad governance have conspired against the emergence of qualified and competent Nigerian youths in politics and governance

Calling on Nigerian youths to shun the sentiments of political party, ethnicity, religion, peer envy, greed, ‘my hustle is better than yours’ and other attitudes that have kept them perpetually as hustlers at the mercy of any government in power, the group said Nigerian youths must reject the notion among the elite class that the youths are incapable of leadership. The group said: 

“Why are Nigerian youths allowed to vote at the age of 18 and then systematically prevented from running for office until over a decade later? Last year in Ghana, 23-year old Francisca Oteng Mensah was elected as a member of the Ghanaian Parliament. In Nigeria, she would have been told that she is the leader of tomorrow because of our youth-unfriendly laws that would have classified her as under-aged.

“In Mali, Moussa Mara became Prime Minister in 2014 at the age of 29. In Sweden, Johan Gabriel Wikström was appointed Minister of Health in 2014 at the age of 29. Charles Michel is the Prime Minister of Belgium. He assumed office on October 11, 2014 at the age of 39. Irakli Garibashvili was appointed Georgian Minister of Internal Affairs in 2012 at the age of 30. In Canada, the current Prime Minister Justin Trudeau assumed that office at the age of 43. How old was Anthony Enahoro when he moved the motion for Nigeria’s independence as a member of Parliament? How old was General Gowon when he became Head of State? In 1982, Audu Ogbeh was 35 when he was appointed Minister of Communications. Today, he is now Minister of Agriculture. And they say this generation of Nigerian youths is too young or unqualified?

Read more: https://www.naij.com/1088994-2019-group-urges-nigerian-youths-destiny-hands.html

What Nigerian Youths Should Learn From Emmanuel Macron Of France

                                 

With tears of joy I read how 39 year-old Emmanuel Macron won the French presidential election peaceful. Three projections, issued within minutes of polling stations closing at 8 p.m. (2 p.m. ET), showed Macron beating his opponent, Le Pen by around 65 percent to 35 – a gap wider than the 20 or so percentage points that pre-election surveys had pointed to.

                          

It’s time for the youths to Stand up and take the leadership of this country like Emmanuel Macron did. They can achieve this by being a good example, showing the qualities of a good leader to the masses who will vote them into power.

                         

They should stop waiting for tomorrow because tomorrow will never come so far they are in Nigeria because the old leaders we have in this country will never give them a chance to rule. Every day by day, they are the leaders of tomorrow. If there is still a chance for Obasanjo to contest for an election in this country, believe me he will still contest.

Youths be that leader of tomorrow ” today ”

 

Some are critizing the young man because he married his high-school teacher, abeg who marrying someone of your age mate help? Mercy Aigbe and her husband wey dem dey? Tonto Dikeh and his husband wey dem dey?

 

Love is matter of understanding each other and not because you just want to showoff like most celebrities do and at the end, they will divorce. The young man knows what he wants in a man not what people want. Fall in love with the right woman or man and see your marriage last.

Youths don’t wait to be the leaders of tomorrow, so far you are in Nigeria, tomorrow will never come. Start now!! Begin now!!

Written by Wisdom Nwedene

Source:igberetvnews.com