When divorce is not an option

The average couple in today's world has thought about divorce at least once during their marriage. God has put you and your spouse together for a reason — and it's not to argue. You are bonded together to cultivate in each other those virtues that lead to sanctification. Marriage is not one size fits all and most importantly,marriage is an institution where you cannot graduate.And for some, divorce is a constant threat. For others, divorce feels like their only hope. Whether you have thought about divorce once or you think about it every day, this article gives eight good reasons why divorce is not an option.

  Your Kids
The first reason is something we all know about and we all consider: the kids. Should you stay married for the children? Well, at least think about how it will affect them. You might get over it in time. They never will.
They will never get over the loss of their family, and their lives will never be the same. Never. When Mom and Dad go apart, and start living separate lives, a child's world is never the same, and they must navigate a new reality. For that boy or girl, the fairy tale is officially over. Yes, kids do "move on," but they are affected by it forever.

Custody

The next reason is very closely related to the first. It als deals with children. The number one reason was how it affected the lives of the children.
One of the worst things about divorce, if children are involved, is a new dirty word you will become very familiar with: custody. You no longer have the children in your home, full-time, as you always have. You will be sharing time with those children with your ex-partner, and you will have to arrange your whole life to accommodate these arrangements.
If you are the non-custodial parent, you can never get those hours back, and you will miss those children, guaranteed. 

It brings Emotional Devastation

Divorce is emotionally devastating for most people. Divorce forces us to kill all of the dreams we were counting on when we decided to marry our mate. It separates us from the one person we believed would always be there for us, holding our hand when we got old and feeble. We may deny the pain, but there is always pain with divorce. Divorce is a type of death, and we will need to grieve from the pain, just as we do when a person we love dies.Divorce is the ultimate rejection, because we are either rejecting, or being rejected by, the one person who knew us most in this world.

 Loss of Confidence
 Another aspect of confidence that is affected is our confidence in our desirability. This why newly divorced often go through a stage of serial dating, desperately seeking to re-establish themselves as attractive and wanted. Or they may fall into another relationship right away, rebounding, and not choosing someone that is healthy for them, compounding and complicating the already raw wound of divorce.

 Loss of Identity

When divorce happens, both individuals lose the roles of husband and wife that they were accustomed to. Even if the marriage is troubled, there is still security in knowing that you are this person's wife or husband, and all of that is gone when the divorce papers are signed. You are no longer the wife of so-and-so, but you are now the "ex" of so-and-so, not a very affirming title.

 Loss of Family

Now, this is a very difficult one, and very painful for many people. You know how when you got married, everyone said you were marrying your fiance's family, as well as your fiancé? Well, this truth also works in reverse. When you divorce your wife, you are also divorcing her family. IN MOST CASES. You see, just like the friends, family will often feel forced to take sides, and guess who they are going to pick? Of course, their son or daughter! So, the relationship with your in-laws will probably change, if not end.

 Loss of Friends

Something you might not realize when contemplating a divorce is that your social life will change. Socially, a person's marital status is important, and affects the dynamic of a social situation. Couples often feel more comfortable being friends

Financies 

The longer a couple stays married, the more time they have to build up assets and their livelihood. You often see couples who have been together for a long time with a great deal of financial stability. Staying together often allows couples to accumulate assets, a good reputation, as both of them work together for the good of their household. Divorce disrupts this building process, and forces both members of the couple to start from scratch, and therefore can be very hard on both party's financial situation.

Divorce is expensive in so many ways. There are the actual legal costs of obtaining a divorce judgment. If there are children involved, custody must be decided. If there are assets, they must be divided. All of these things usually involve lawyer billing hours. Anytime a judge is involved, you must pay for the lawyer's time.

with other couples, and making the switch to two singles instead of one deuce will shake everything up. If you are really close, the couple might choose to see both of you at different times but if the tie between the two couples was based mostly on one of the persons in the divorced couple, your friends will often feel forced to take sides, to be loyal to their original friend. This doesn't sound very nice, but it's a reality.

 

Written by Dr Adebanjo Owolabi
 Dr Adebanjo Owolabi is a marriage cousellor,a writer and family awareness event planner

8 Lies That Destroy Marriage

Imagine meeting with an engaged couple a few weeks before they are married. With excitement they describe how they met and how their relationship developed. The husband-to-be proudly describes how he set up a perfect romantic evening so he could pop the big question.
Then they surprise you by saying, “We want to get married and have some children. At first we will feel a lot of love for each other. Then we’ll start arguing and hating each other. In a few years, we’ll get a divorce.”
Who would enter marriage intending to get a divorce? And yet, divorce is occurring at alarming rates. A large number of people in my church have been hurt deeply by divorce—they’ve been divorced themselves, or they’ve felt the pain of a parent or relative divorcing.
 Here are eight lies that has destroyed marriages and you must guard against

Lie 1. "My happiness is the most important thing about my marriage.”  
As a pastor, I can’t tell you how many people have justified breaking up their marriages by saying, “I have to do this. God just wants me to be happy.”
But according to God’s Word, a spouse’s individual happiness is not the purpose for marriage.
The Bible says in Colossians 3:17: “Whatever you do in word or deed,” do for the glory of God. While all parts of creation are to glorify God, mankind was made in God’s very image. Through marriage, husbands and wives are to reflect His character and have children who will reflect His character … all the way to the end of time.

 Lie 2. “If I don’t love my spouse any longer, I should get a divorce.”   
It’s a tragedy to lose love in marriage. But the loss of human love can teach us to access a deeper love—the very love of God Himself. That love is patient and kind … it never fails (1 Corinthians 13). It even cares for its enemies.
When human love dies in a marriage, a couple can enter into one of the most exciting adventures they’ll ever have: learning how to love each other with God’s love. Romans 5:5 tells us that this very love “has been poured out within our hearts, through the Holy Spirit.”

 Lie 3. “My private immorality does not affect my marriage.”
A lot of people think, I can view pornography in the privacy of my home. It’s just me and my magazine, or computer … it doesn’t affect my marriage.
Oneness in marriage is hijacked by sexual immorality. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:15, “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute?”
In the 21^st century, there are many ways to join oneself with a prostitute: physically, through the pages of a magazine, on a computer’s video screen, etc. Paul’s advice is the same today as it was thousands of years ago: Flee immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18).
If you take your emotional and sexual energy and spend it on someone else, there will be nothing left for your spouse. Those who continually view pornography or engage in sexual fantasies are isolating themselves.

 Lie 4. “My sin (or my spouse’s sin) is so bad that I need to get a divorce.”
The truth is God can fix our failures—any failure. The Bible says to forgive one another, just as God in Christ has forgiven us (Colossians. 3:13).
“But,” you ask, “Doesn’t Matthew 19:9 say that God allows divorce in the case of sexual immorality?” Yes. I believe that it does—when there is an extended period of unrepentance. Yet, nowhere in that passage does God demand divorce. When there is sexual sin, we should seek to redeem the marriage and so illustrate the unfathomable forgiveness of God.
Some of the greatest life messages I know are the marriages of people who have repented from sexual sin and spouses who have forgiven them. Their lives today are living testimonies to the truth found in Joel 2:25: “… I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten.”

 Lie 5. “I married the wrong person.”
Many people have told me, for example, that they are free to divorce because they married an unbeliever. “I thought he/she would become a Christian, but that didn’t happen. We need to get a divorce.” They recall that they knew it was a mistake, but they married anyway—hoping it would work out. Others claim that they just married someone who wasn’t a good match, someone who wasn’t a true “soul mate.”
A wrong start in marriage does not justify another wrong step. “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good,” says Romans 8:28, “to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

 Lie 6. “My spouse and I are incompatible.” 
I don’t know a lot of husbands and wives who are truly compatible when they get married. In marriage, God joins together two flawed people.
If I will respond correctly to my spouse’s weaknesses, then God can teach me forgiveness, grace, unconditional love, mercy, humility, and brokenness. The life of a person who believes in Jesus Christ is developed by responses to not only happy things, but also to difficulties. And those very difficulties include weaknesses.
That is why we are told in Colossians 3:12-13 to “put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other.” My spouse’s weaknesses are not hindrances. Instead, they are the doorway to spiritual growth. This is a liberating truth.

 Lie 7. “Breaking the marriage covenant won’t hurt me or my children.”
When divorce enters a family, there are always scars. I know this firsthand; although I was an adult when my father committed adultery and divorced my mother, decades later there are still effects. Many consequences of divorce never go away.

 Lie 8. “There’s no hope for my marriage—it can’t be fixed.” 
This may be the most devastating lie of all. Because in more than four decades of counseling couples, I’ve seen God do the seeming impossible thousands of times. In a dying marriage, He just needs two willing parties. God knows how to get us out of the messes we get ourselves into.
 If you begin to think, There is no hope for my marriage, realize that, “With God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).
We must combat the lies about marriage. The truth will set us free (John 8:32). God can fix anything!

 Written by Bill Elliff

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH:MY POVERTY MUST DIE

The Bible says that you can pursue and overtake your enemies and recover what they have stolen from you. It is a standing order in the word of God. The Bible being a very straightforward book gives you the two sides of the coin. It also tells us that curses can pursue a person and overtake the person. The same Bible also makes us to understand that blessings can pursue a person and overtake the person. I must point out to you that the spirit of poverty is a very stubborn spirit and it has to be dealt with, with full force by the hammer of the Almighty. Deuteronomy 28:2 says, “And all these blessings shall come on thee, and overtake thee, if thou shalt hearken unto the voice of the Lord thy God.” So, blessings can also pursue and overtake a person. Psalm 23:6 says, “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life...” When you combine Deuteronomy 28:2 and Psalm 23: 6, you get an amazing information. We have always been taught that we should pursue blessings, pursue money, be very aggressive and work ourselves to the bones. Then when we get the money, we hoard it. But now the Bible is saying something completely different. It is saying that those things that you are busy worrying your brain about can pursue and overtake you. Remember that God knows no barrier or impossibility.

Most of the wealth in the world is in the wrong hands. Why are they in the wrong hands? We, Christians allowed it. Many of the things that are happening are so because Christians allow them. When we stand as a church of Godand say that we disallow a particular thing, it would not happen. Our word cannot be challenged because it is by eternal decree. We are sons of the living God by adoption. 

 WAY OUT

When you check your life and you find out that the spirit of poverty is in control, then you need to resist it. Think now about your finances. If you have cheated God, ask for forgiveness. Take a positive stand on what you will do in God’s house. If you have things that you have stored up somewhere and you know that you don’t really need them. Sell them off and put the money into God’s work. The last step to take is an aggressive one. It is to pray poverty destroying prayers. You must pray against the spirit of poverty with holy aggression. Some sicknesses are not ordinary. They are just ladders of poverty and you need to break them to pieces.

PRAYER POINTS

1. You heaven that has become brass, break open and bring rain, in the name of Jesus.

2. Every spirit of poverty, I break your control, in the name of Jesus.

3. Lay your hands on your eyes and pray like this: O Lord, anoint my eyes to see the hidden riches of the world, in the name of Jesus.

4. Lay hand on your head and pray this: O Lord, advertise your prosperity in my life, in Jesus’ name.

5. Lay one hand upon the other hand and pray like this: Let the riches of the ungodly be transferred into my hands, in the name of Jesus.

6. O Lord, let divine blessings bombard my life, in the name of Jesus.

7. O Lord, give me dumbfounding breakthroughs, in the name of Jesus.

8. Every curse working against my destiny be broken, in the name of Jesus.

9. You the power of poverty holding my desting,enough is enough,die in Jesus name.

10. My prosperity,appear by fire in jesus name

 Culled from www.mfmdenver.org

The Parrot Records

Charles Rejji (popularly known as Rejji Rokka) is a young entrepreneur. An undergraduate of History and Diplomatic Studies,Lagos State University. He also studied acting at Lagos film institute.He hails from Abia State but have lived most of his life in Lagos.

He couples as an artist and Events Manager at Parrot Entertainment ( PEG Records ) , He is the CEO of Diva Modelling Agency with the Office at Surulere, the heart of Lagos.

This soft-speaking young man is time conscious, upward mobile andalways on the go. He is very dynamic and diplomatic. Honesty is his watchword.

You can Contact him on : rejjirokka@yahoo.com,Facebook.com/rejji.rokka

Twitter : @rejjirokka

How to find your mentor

Are you looking for a mentor – someone who will build a relationship with you, someone to teach and advise you and enable you to become a wise and effective human being? Here are ten steps to finding that person:

1. Look at the people you know
   Look around at the people in your personal and professional life. Is there someone you admire? Someone you would like to emulate in some way? Someone who has the wisdom you need?
2. Consider people you’ve never met
   Research the top individuals in the businesses, organizations and trace associations of your chosen field. Find out as much as you can about them. Identify those individuals whose values and accomplishments you most admire.
3. Select a mentor who is a good role model
   Look for someone who is not only famous or successful, but who has a reputation for character and solid principles. Look for someone you can admire and respect as well as emulate.
4. Select a mentor who is a good listener
   The best mentor is one who gets to know you – your skills and strengths and weaknesses, your individual personality and your aspirations. A good mentor should not serve as a lecturer, but as a sounding board who will help you with your struggles and help you to clarify your principles and beliefs.
5. Select a mentor who levels with you
   A good mentor doesn’t just encourage you, but will also tell you the blunt truth when you are moving in the wrong direction. It is also a good sign if your mentor is candid and open about his or her own life. Anyone who has accomplished great things has made mistakes along the way and will share those experiences freely so that you can learn from them.
6. Look for someone who is unlike you in some important way
   Our tendency is to gravitate toward those with whom we have a lot in common. But in seeking out a mentor, it is wise to seek out people who have strengths that we lack. For example, if you are a shy and introverted person, seek out someone who is bold and gregarious. Instead of pairing up with someone who will reinforce your weaknesses, find someone who will challenge you to acquire new strengths.
7. Be open to finding a mentor in unlikely places
   We tend to think of a mentor or teacher as someone with gray hair and a well-lined face. Not necessarily! A mentor could be anyone who has something to teach you and could be the same age or even younger than you. A mentor could be someone of lower rank and social standing than you.
8. If the person doesn’t know you, approach that person with a brief letter of introduction
   You might say, “I have followed your achievements in the field of ______ and I eagerly read your book on ______. Like you, I am very concerned about the issue of _____ and I hope to make a contribution in these areas myself someday. I am looking for a mentoring relationship, and I would be grateful if you could spare thirty minutes to discuss such a possibility with me.”
9. Make personal contact
   Don’t be shy. Ask, “Would you be willing to mentor me?” You may think you are imposing on that person, but I have found that most people who have achieved a place of accomplishment in life are eager to share their wisdom, experience and knowledge with others. When you ask someone to be your mentor, you are truly offering them high praise.
10. Remember, you are never too old to be mentored
      You may have reached a point where you know you have a lot of knowledge and experience to offer others – but you still have a lot to learn! That’s why, despite your age and gray hair, you still seek out people to mentor me.

Written by Daniel Obaiye
 

INVEST IN YOUR HUSBAND

It's very important to understand where your husband needs your support. Ephesians 5:23 teaches that the husband is "the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church." When we first married, I committed to being under the roof of Dennis' protection,my husband. He had all the structural basics, but he was brand-new at being my protector. Through the years, the weight of life's pressures has sometimes shaken my husband, but he has remained solidly over me as my roof, my protector. Today, although still not perfectly secure, my husband's structural integrity is much more stable. He tells me that I have had a major part in helping him to feel more sure of himself as a man and as a husband.

Likewise, you can strengthen your husband's self-esteem. But first you must recognize where he needs bolstering. Many women today are so caught up in finding their own identity that they, like the carpenters who were building the shopping center, make assumptions about their husband's self-confidence and security. Your spouse may be fully-grown on the outside, but inside he undoubtedly feels some insecurity. He's not so sure how to be a man in this world where women have growing independence and society is changing the traditional rules of relationships.

How do you invest in your husband?

1. Seek to understand
My advice to these women IS basically the same: Seek to understand why your husband is feeling or acting this way. Focus on him, not on the negative circumstances and how you are affected. Are his actions communicating some deep needs for affirmation, commitment, or loyalty?
Also, give him your complete acceptance, even if you don't totally understand him. It may be necessary to ask God to help you accept your husband, for it may not be easy to live with your situation.
Why is acceptance so important to a man? Because without it, he will feel that you are pressuring him to become something he's not. With it, he will sense that you love him for who he is today and not for what you hope he will become.

2. Understand his need for work.
 One area of struggle for many wives is her husband's job and the pressures it imposes on him and everyone around him.
Man was given the responsibility by God to toil, sweat, and gain from the labor of his hands. His work gives him a sense of significance and importance in the world as he sees his efforts affecting life for good in the present and the future.
But this drive for significance sometimes pushes a man to extremes. In his effort to gain a sense of well-being and significance, he often becomes enslaved to his job. Attempting to gain importance through wealth or position, he makes his work his god. For hundreds of years, men have confused their net worth with their self-worth.
On the other hand, a man who is out of work lacks true self-respect. In this age of workaholism, losing a job is a traumatic blow to a man's esteem. It strikes at the core of his dignity. A man who doesn't work can't enjoy the satisfaction of a solid day's productivity.
Your husband needs you to help him keep these two extremes in balance. He needs you to praise him for his work, but not to push him to gain too much too quickly. When a man loses or quits his job, his self-esteem can sink. During these times, he needs you to stand beside him and encourage his efforts at finding employment. Men need to work.

3. Understand his sexual needs. 
Another sphere in which we wives, for the most part, do not really understand our husbands is in how his self-image is vitally linked to his sexuality. Sometimes we women judge our husbands' sexual needs by our own.
Many wives express that they are offended because their husbands are such sexual creatures. This attitude communicates rejection to a man. To ignore his sexual needs, to resist his initiation of sex, or merely to tolerate his advances is to tear at the heart of his self-esteem.
Jill Renich points this out in her book, To Have and to Hold. She states that for a man, "Sex is the most meaningful demonstration of love and self-worth. It is a part of his own deepest person."
The truth is, the typical man worries about his sexual performance, his wife's enjoyment, and his ability to satisfy her. He worries about the future and all those tales he has heard about losing his ability to make love. These worries are signs of a low self-confidence. Thus, a man who feels like a failure in the marriage bed will seldom have the deep, abiding self-respect for which he longs.
But, as Jill Renich writes, "To receive him with joy, and to share sexual pleasure, builds into him a sense of being worthy, desirable, and acceptable."
What if, on the other hand, your husband expresses little sexual need? Are you naively content because that means less risk for you? Or are you accepting or even resentful of his indifference without seeking to understand why?
Your husband may lack interest in his sexual relationship with you for one of several reasons:

• He may be too busy. Many workaholics have nothing left over for home.
• He may be burying his sex drive, along with many other emotions. (You or a good Christian counselor need to begin to help him open up.)
• He may be experiencing depression, which takes away other basic drives as well.
• He may be deeply afraid of further rejection if you have in any way communicated rejection in the past.
• Unfortunately, he may be involved with another woman.

Women are generally security-minded, but too often a woman's need for security leads her into a sexual rut. Her husband may not say much, so she assumes that he is satisfied too. But he may not be. Beware of complacency. Be willing to make some personal sacrifices to protect your marriage.
Great sacrifice communicates great love. Freely giving of yourself to your spouse will make you a magnet to him, drawing him home, keeping him safe. The wife who really loves her husband will choose to take risks to please her man.
As you spend time together physically, be sure to reassure your husband verbally of your unconditional acceptance of him, especially if he is insecure in this area. Tell him that you like his body and that his imperfections and mistakes don't matter to you. His confidence will grow if you allow him the freedom to be himself and to be imperfect.

4. Understand his need for respect.
 Part of God's specific instruction to wives is found in Ephesians 5:33 (ESV): "Let the wife see to it that she respects her husband." In the Amplified Bible, this verse reads, "And let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband—that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly."
Why does God focus on this quality of respect? Why didn't He select other positive and necessary traits, such as kindness, sympathy, and forgiveness? Why didn't He emphasize love?
I believe that God, as the designer of men, knew that they would be built up as they are respected by their wives. When a wife respects her husband, he feels it, is supported by it, and is strengthened from it. A man needs respect like a woman needs love.
Your husband wants and needs to make a contribution in life that is worthy of another's respect. He needs to know that you feel he is important. Without your respect, he can't respect himself. You are his mirror. When you express your respect, he feels valuable and esteemed.
Pay attention to your husband's admirable qualities rather than the negative ones. You can then offer him the respect that will build his self-esteem.
It takes years for him to become a man
Months after that small shopping center near our home collapsed, it was finally completed. The builders made changes and structural modifications. Some were external, obvious to us as we passed by, while others were internal and couldn't be seen.
Your husband, like that shopping center, is still under construction. His self-esteem will take time, modifications, and improvements. Internally, your attitude of acceptance, respect, and adaptation are all essential to his structural integrity. Your external behavior matters, too, because your words and actions can help to construct a secure man.
Remember, it takes years for a man to become a strong husband. Be patient with him. Put aside your high expectations of how a perfect husband would lead his family spiritually, or behave socially, or perform intellectually. Keep your hope in God, not in your man. Then you will not be disappointed.

written by Barbara Rainey

10 THINGS YOUR WIFE NEEDS FROM YOU

After being married for six years now, I have learned that men think a lot differently than women. In my fairly tale love story, my husband and I would walk hand in hand as we go on a shopping spree and then out to a nice dinner. In my husband’s fairy tale love story, he would like to stay home and watch a football game while eating Chipotle. Can you relate?
Today I wanted to share with you a few things your wife needs from you.
 These are things your wife needs from her better half… the man by her side…her sugar daddy…. her arm candy….her sweetheart… yes, these are things she needs from YOU.

1. SUPPORT: When you put that ring on her finger, you immediately became a team. Your goals, dreams and wishes all of the sudden become BOTH of your goals, dreams and wishes. Support her and give her strength. Let her know you are proud of her and believe in her. This also means to help her achieve her goals. Be there for her when she has a hard day. Be that shoulder to cry on and those wings to make her fly.

 2. COMPLIMENTS: Even if you think she already knows that she is pretty – TELL HER. Even if you think she already knows that she looks amazing in her new outfit – TELL HER. Even if she doesn’t have time to get ready and looks like a hot mess when you get home from work – TELL HER she still looks amazing to you. Women LOVE, no not just love, they NEED to hear things like this. We are always comparing our bodies, hair, nails and clothes with other women around us. It is always nice to hear from the man of our dreams how good we look! As her husband, you have the opportunity to make her confidence boost 100%.

3. RECOGNITION: Every woman likes to hear that you recognize everything she has done. Say thank you when she cleans the house or puts your clothes away. Tell her what a great job she did at work or what a fun mom she is for your children. Let her know that you notice all of the little {and big} things that she does.

4. A LISTENER: Bad days will come – so let me tell you a little secret about ladies. Sometimes they just want to TALK! They just want to tell you all about their day and the drama and the crazy things that happened. Sit there and listen. Let them vent. Often times my husband will come home and I will talk for 30 minutes and then I stop and say, “So. How are you?” and he looks at me and smiles. That is when I realize that I talked WAY too much. But listen. And don’t only listen with your ears – listen with your whole body. Show her you are interested in what she is saying by not being on your phone or watching a basketball game.

 5. TO BE A PRIORITY: We completely understand that you are human and you are a man with a LOT on your plate. But we also like to be on the top of your list of “importance.” Things will come up, work meetings will happen, games will be on – and that is TOTALLY fine, but make sure she knows that nothing is more important than her.

 6. COMMUNICATION: You know how I said that often times ladies just like to talk?! We also like when you talk back. Ask your wife questions and what her opinion on things are. And when she asks you questions and asks for your opinion, be open and have a discussion.Communication is key to a successful marriage.

7. A HOT DATE: Your relationship with your spouse probably began as friends and then she probably became your girlfriend and then she became your fiance and now she is your wife – correct? {Or in my case, you began as enemies and then became friends… but that is another story.} At any rate – throughout the process of building your relationship to marriage, DATING probably played a big part in your lives. Well men, once you tie the knot,dating doesn't end.Your wife would LOVE for you to take her out to a nice dinner. She would LOVE for you to take her to a fun activity.

 8. A BEST FRIEND: We ALL want a best friend – men and women! That person you can tell EVERYTHING to. That person you can laugh until you cry with. That person you can call just to say hi. That person you can rely on. That person that will always make you feel better. So BE that for her.

 9. AN EXAMPLE: You always want to marry someone that brings out the very best in you. A person that makes you become better, stronger and happier. Believe it or not, us women look up to YOU – the men of our households. We notice the way you live, the way you treat our children, the way you work hard, the way you pray, the way you spend your free time {if you ever have any!}. Always do what is right and help lead your family on the right path to happiness in this life.

 10. LOVE: Last, but probably the most important thing your wife needs from you is LOVE. She needs to hear it. She needs to see it. She needs to feel it. Just saying the words "I LOVE YOU" is so important and taking it a step further by SHOWING it is even better.

Written by Danielle Davies
 Danielle Davies is the owner of Today's the Best Day. She strives to provide creative and uplifting content in order to enrich the parenting experience for women everywhere. Danielle hopes to help you and your family to make every day the best day.she can be reached through www.todaysthebestday.com

The Pillars of a successful Marriage

Wisdom hath builded her house, she hath hewn out her seven pillars: She hath killed her beasts; she hath mingled her wine; she hath also furnished her table. She hath sent forth her maidens: she crieth upon the highest places of the city, Whoso is simple, let him turn in hither: as for him that wanteth understanding, she saith to him Proverbs 9:1-4 (KJV).
To build a great house you need a strong foundation and pillars; prayer and fasting will never sustain a skyscraper you build without strong pillars. Likewise, marriage needs to be built on very strong pillars to make it stand and weather the storm of life, which may come as wind, flood to test the strength of a home and its stability.
The following resources combine together to make strong pillars for marriage:
1) GODLINESS: Marriage is a godly product. So, it will take a godly attitude to sustain it. Godliness will make you to love God and his son/daughter in your life. Godliness involves living like God, living for God, living in God, living on God, living with God. It involves Christ likeness, obedient to the word of God and humility. Godliness connotes godly attitude like love, tolerance, forgiveness, acceptance, goodness, prayerfulness and friendliness which actually make marriage work.
2) PRAYER: Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened Matthew 7:7, 8 (KJV). Don‘t be careless with your marriage, pray about your spouse’s and your own emotion, actions, reactions, attitudes and characters. Pray against satanic manipulation of your marital choice. Pray against any evil plan against your marriage, spouse and children. Insure your marriage daily with prayers.
3) DIVINE DIRECTION: I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee Psalms 32:8, 9 (KJV). Marriage is like a road to an unknown city; you will need somebody that knows the way to lead you. Only God knows tomorrow, so allow him to lead you into it without regrets. Your eyes may see a beautiful face, but it takes God to show you a beautiful destiny. Don’t just marry anybody, pray and get direction from God.
4) ADEQUATE PREPARATION: The preparations of the heart in man and the answer of the tongue, is from the Lord Proverbs 16:1 (KJV). Marriage is a long time journey; it needs to be adequately prepared for. Don’t rush into it. Prepare physically, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and vocationally. For more on this, get a copy of my book: Preparing for Marriage.
5) WISDOM: Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches. A wise man is strong; yea, a man of knowledge increaseth strength Proverbs 24:3-5 (KJV). Marriage doesn’t work by age, it works by wisdom. Many people are suffering in their marriage today because they lack the required wisdom for a successful family life. Get wisdom through marriage programmes, books, CD’s, DVD and Marriage School.
6) EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION: Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord Ephesians 5:19 (KJV). For marriage to last, effective communication must be in place. This involves truthfulness, sincerity, openness and clarity. Negative statements like: fool, idiot, stupid, mad should be avoided. Use: I am sorry. I love you, you are beautiful. All these positive words will keep your marriage on track.
7) SERVICE: Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others Philippians 2:4 (KJV). Successful marriage is a product of service from two angles. That is, the husband and wife. Those who go into marriage looking for somebody that will serve them will make a mess of their marriage in no time. Serve your partner; don’t wait to be served. Render a helping hand to your spouse at all times even if he is indifferent.

Written by Bisi Adewale
Bisi Adewale is a family expert and president of college of marital success; He is an international conference speaker and an author of more than 52 books on marriage and family life, singles, love, sex and purity and intimacy. For more info visit www.familybooster.com, www.bisiadewale.com, or call 08068312004, or send mail to familybooster@gmail.com

Top-Rated sites in Dubai,UAE you need to go too

Dubai is the United Arab Emirates' vacation hot spot. This city of high-rises and shopping malls has transformed itself from a desert outpost to a destination du-jour, where people flock for sales bargains, sunshine and family fun. Dubai is famous for sightseeing attractions such as the Burj Khalifa (the world's tallest building) and shopping malls that come complete with mammoth aquariums and indoor ski slopes.
But this city has many cultural highlights as well as all the glamorous modern add-ons. Take a wander around the Bastakia district and you'll discover the Dubai of old, then cruise along Dubai Creek in a traditional dhow and you'll soon realise there's more to this city than its flashy veneer.If you are travelling for shoppings or touring,check these destinations out:

 1 Burj Khalifa 

Dubai's landmark building is the Burj Khalifa, which at 829.8 m is the tallest building in the world. For most visitors a trip to the observation deck on the 124th floor here is a must-do while in the city. The views across the city skyline from this bird's-eye perspective are simply staggering. The slick observation deck experience includes a multi-media presentation on both Dubai and the building of the Burj Khalifa (completed in 2010) before a high-speed elevator whizzes you up to the observation deck for those 360-degree views out across the skyscrapers to the desert on one side and the ocean on the other. Night-time visits are particularly popular with photographers due to Dubai's famous city-lights panoramas.
Back on the ground, wrapping around the Burj Khalifa, are the building's beautifully designed gardens with winding walkways. There are plenty of water features including the Dubai Fountain, the world's tallest performing fountain, modelled on vegas famous Fountains of Bellagio.

Hours: Daily 8:30am-1am

Admission: Observation Deck Entry: Adults 125AED (immediate entry 400AED), children 4-12 95AED, children under 4 free

Location: Entry from Dubai Mall, Sheikh Zayed Road, Downtown

2 Dubai Museum

Dubai's excellent museum is housed in the Al-Fahidi Fort, built in 1787 to defend Dubai Creek. The fort's walls are built out of traditional coral-blocks and held together with lime. The upper floor is supported by wooden poles known as "handels", and the ceiling is constructed from palm fronts, mud and plaster. In its history, the fort has served as residence for the ruling family, seat of government, garrison and prison. Restored in 1971 (and again extensively in 1995) it is now the city's premier museum. The entrance has a fascinating exhibition of old maps of the Emirates and Dubai, showing the mammoth expansion that hit the region after the oil boom.
The courtyard is home to several traditional boats and a palm-leaf house with an Emirati wind-tower. The right-hand hall features weaponry and the left-hand hall showcases Emirati musical instruments. Below the ground floor are display halls with exhibits and dioramas covering various aspects of traditional Emirati lifestyle (including pearl fishing and Bedouin desert life) as well as artifacts from the 3,000-4,000 year old graves at Al Qusais archaeological site.

Location: Al-Fahidi Street, Bur Dubai

 3.Dubai Creek

Dubai Creek separates the city into two towns with Deira to the north and Bur Dubai to the south. The creek has been an influential element in the city's growth, first attracting settlers here to fish and pearl dive. Small villages grew up alongside the creek as far back as 4,000 years ago, while the modern era began in the 1830s when the Bani Yas tribe settled in the area. The Dhow Wharfage is located along Dubai Creek's bank, north of Al-Maktoum Bridge. Still used by small traders from across the Gulf, some of the dhows anchored here are well over 100 years old. You can visit here, watching cargo being loaded and unloaded on and off the dhows. Dhow workers often invite visitors onto the vessels for a tour, where you can gain insight into the life of these traditional sailors. Many of the dhows here travel onwards to Kuwait, Iran, Oman, and down to Africa's horn. This tiny remnant of Dubai's traditional economy is still a bustling and fascinating place to wander around.
To travel across the creek you can either take a trip on one of the many dhows that have been restored as tourist cruise boats or take an abra (small wooden ferry) between the ferry points on the creek's Bur Dubai and Deira banks.

4.Deira Souks

Deira is located on the northern bank of Dubai Creek and the winding streets here unveil the melting pot of different nationalities that have come to call Dubai home. On the shore, ancient dhows load and unload with modern banks, hotels and office buildings for a backdrop. For travelers Deira is most famous for its traditional souks (markets), which bustle with shoppers at all times of the day. Deira Gold Souq is world-renowned as the largest gold bazaar in the world and the reason that Dubai has received the name "City of Gold". Jewellery of all kinds is available in a variety of designs from traditional to modern and plenty of options to customise your own design.
The Deira Spice Souq sells every imaginable spice with stalls overflowing with bags of frankincense, cumin, paprika, saffron, sumac and thyme as well as the fragrant oud wood, rose water and incense. The market was established in the 1830s and features restored wooden archways and wind-towers. For a much less touristy experience, head to the fish market where you'll find loads of local action.

5. Sheikh Zayed Road

Sheikh Zayed Road is the main thoroughfare running through Dubai's modern downtown business district. This wide, eight-lane highway is rimmed with towering glass, chrome and steel highrises along its length. Main attractions are along, or just off, the strip between the roundabout and the first intersection. The Courtyard Gallery (6A Street) has an excellent permanent collection focused on contemporary art from Arab artists. Dubai World Trade Tower (Sheikh Zayed Road) has an observation deck on its top floor that offers visitors panoramic views.
The Gold and Diamond Park and Museum (Sheikh Zayed Road) is a one-stop shop for jewellery lovers with 118 manufacturers and 30 retailers all under one roof. The complex's museum presents the history of Arabic jewellery production and also offers short tours of the manufacturing plant.

 6.Heritage and Diving Village

Dubai's architectural, cultural and maritime heritage is showcased at the Heritage and Diving Village, with displays related to pearl diving and dhow building - two of old Dubai's historic economic mainstays. There are also recreations of traditional Bedouin and coastal village life, with Persian homes, a traditional coffeehouse and a small souk where potters and weavers practice their handicrafts at the stalls. Local music and dance are performed from October to April and visitors can get advice from practitioners of traditional medicine.

7. Dubai Aquarium

One of the city's top tourist attractions, the Dubai Aquarium houses 140 species of sea life in the huge suspended tank on the ground floor of the Dubai Mall. As well as free viewing from the mall, if you enter the Underwater Zoo you can walk through the aquarium tunnels.
There are a myriad of activities where you can get a closer look at the sea life. Glass bottom boat tours (on top of the tank) are particularly popular. Cage snorkeling and shark diving activities are also on offer.

Hours: Mon-Fri 10am-10pm, Sat-Sun 10am-midnight

Admission: Adults 70AED, Children 55AED

Location: Dubai Mall, Sheikh Zayed Road

8 Dubai Mall

Dubai Mall is the city's premier mall and provides entry to the Burj Khalifa as well as the Dubai Aquarium. There is also an ice-skating rink, gaming zone and cinema complex if you're looking for more entertainment options. The shopping and eating is endless and there are nearly always special events such as live music and fashion shows within the mall. The most famous of these are the annual Dubai Shopping Festival in January and February and the Dubai Summer Surprises Festival in July and August.

Location: Doha Road, just off Sheikh Zayed Road.

 9.Burj al-Arab

The Burj Al-Arab is the world's tallest hotel, standing 321 m high, located on its own artificial island on the Dubai coastline. Designed to resemble a billowing dhow sail, the exterior of the Burj Al-Arab is lit up by a choreographed coloured lighting show at night. Decadent in every way possible, it is one of the most expensive hotels in the world with the most luxurious suites costing over $15,000 for one night.
For those without unlimited credit, the way to experience the over-the-top opulence is to go for dinner at the underwater Al-Mahara restaurant where floor-to-ceiling glass panels in the dining room walls allow you to view sea life while you eat. Or, book afternoon tea at the Skyview Bar (a minimum spend is required) on the 27th floor with its amazing panoramic views of the city.

 10.Mall of the Emirates

Mall of the Emirates is one of the city's most famous malls with the spectacular (and surreal) Ski Dubai facility inside. The indoor ski slope is complete with chairlifts and a penguin enclosure, all at a continuous temperature of -4 degrees Celsius. There's also a cinema complex and a family entertainment centre with a whole host of rides aimed at both the big and small. The shopping opportunities are boundless as are the eating options, offering every conceivable world cuisine.

Hours: Sat-Wed 10am-1am, Thu-Fri 10am-2am

Location: Sheikh Zayed Road

How to Stay Happy Even If You’re Broke

I can’t describe the pain I felt seeing my wife open one of three credit card bills we receive every month. As she glanced through the details, she let out a deep breath as she massaged her forehead with her left hand, with disappointment written all over her face.

We’re broke.

With three kids to take care of, a mortgage to maintain, and credit card debts left unsettled, we were barely making it as we lived from paycheck-to-paycheck.

It was tough for both of us. It’s like getting lost in the middle of a maze and you can’t find your way out. No matter how much we tried to keep everything tight, the problem doesn’t seem to end. It was getting worse like cancer.

Many of us have gone through a similar situation. In fact, as of July 2014, 1 in every 3 adults in the US are behind on debt payments according to CNN. That’s a whopping 77 million people in debt!

It’s alarming how people fall in deep depression due to debt. Some even take their lives.

Luckily, I haven’t reached that point but being knee-deep in debt has certainly made me hit rock bottom. I even published my feelings in Facebook out of desperation.

“The struggle continues. When will this ever end?” I wrote.

Of course this garnered comments from friends and colleagues but one comment from an old friend stood out.

“Just stay strong and never give up. It will all end soon. It may take long, but it will end.” he said.

Those words really left a mark. It was a wake-up call and it turned my mindset around.

The question I have for you now is, can we be broke and happy at the same time? Is that even possible?

My answer to this question is a resounding “Yes”.Here are some of the ways you can too:

 Accept Responsibility

The first step is to accept our situation and be accountable for it. No one is responsible for getting you in debt except you. Don’t blame the economy For your circumstance. THAT’S ALL ON YOU.

If you were capable of getting yourself in so much debt, you are equally capable of getting out of it. No one else can help you become financially free except you.

Be Thankful

Life is so beautiful but unbelievably short and it doesn’t help your case if you’ll choose to wallow in defeat and self-pity. Things are not as bad as it seems.

You may be financially struggling but there are other things in your life that you should be thankful for.

Your family is there, your kids are healthy, you have good relationships, you’re able to eat thrice in a day, and the list goes on.

Instead of focusing your energy and attention on the adversities you are facing, count your blessings. You are in a better spot compare to others.

Remain Hopeful

Robert Kiyosaki and his wife used to live in their car. Chris Gardner, whose life was the inspiration for the movie, The Pursuit of Happiness, went homeless for some time. Best-selling author Andy Andrews used to live under a pier.

Where are they now?

They’re all millionaires and very successful.

How did they turn their lives around?

They never lost hope and they didn’t accept defeat. They persisted and they took action.

You might be saying, “well, they’re different.”

ABSOLUTELY NOT! 
They’re normal people just like you and me. 

Written by Ikechi Awazie
 Ikechi Awazie is an inspirational blogger and writer.he is a passionate follower of Christ, been fortunate to lead, inspire, equip and encourage others. I love to learn, help other people and take on new challenges. Get ready as I inspire you to action.

5 Ways to Improve Your Sales Approach in 2016

One of the greatest challenges your company will face this year is growing sales and measuring the true ROI on sales' efforts. Spending smart money on sales is an important key to sustained company growth.
 In my work with companies to overcome their challenges to growth, I find the one area they struggle with the most is getting a handle on their sales. Until you understand how you generate sales, you can't plan and grow your company effectively.
In order to grow your sales this year, there are some key areas you must address:


1--Gathering the Right Intelligence
Building an effective sales process requires gathering the right information on your prospects. This can be a challenge if you are a startup and you have a small sales team. To be productive the right prospecting tools are worth the investment.
Consider a platform like www.salesloft.com or www.salesgenie.com. These prospecting tools automate list building through the power of social networks and other third party sources and they can sync contact information directly to your CRM enhancing your overall sales success.

2--Taking Advantage of Automation
Once the sales process is in full swing, rely on marketing automation tools that both reach out to your customers on a regular basis and remind your sales staff when it's time to follow-up. Rule of thumb is that it takes 7 times for a customer to remember you or your company, and more than 17 times to decide they want to make a purchase.

3--Scaling When It Counts
When it's time to scale up, it may not make sense to hire multiple full-time sales staff. You may only need to supplement your team for a specific campaign or new product push.
These firm scan quickly ramp up and begin qualifying leads, nurturing prospects, or taking complete end-to-end control of the sales process. The great part is they use a performance-based model that calculates fees based on results.

4--Providing Visibility
The sales funnel is crucial component to cash flow and the future of your business. Once you add more individuals in your sales team, you need a way to easily manage the sales process.
 www.pipiedive.com and www.zoho.com are cloud based platforms that provide anyone on your team with the insight they need to help close the next deal. These platforms provide an easy way to track a large pool of leads and prospects as well as the short-listed pool of likely customers in order to effectively monitor and understand potential business.

5--Improving Effectiveness
Once your sales team does pick up the phone, how effective are they in moving a customer along the sales process? Telephony technology has improved at the small and medium business level, providing enterprise level integrations that were previously only available to larger companies.

Written by Eric Holtzclaw

Obasanjo bags MA in Christian Theology,enrols for PhD

                                                        Chief Olusegun Obasanjo

Former President Olusegun Obasanjo is among over 5,000 students that would be graduating from the National Open University of Nigeria (NOUN). He would be conferred with MA degree in Christian Theology.
The MA degree is under the School of Arts and Social Sciences and Obasanjo studied at NOUN Abeokuta study centre. His two supervisors are Prof Isaac Ayegboyin, Head of Department of Religious Studies, University of Ibadan and Dr. Philip Tachin, lecturer in Systemic Theology Department.
The Management of the National Open University of Nigeria (NOUN) has concluded arrangements and plans to upgrade Chief Olusegun Obasanjo to the Phd level class which will soon commence later this year.
Soon after he left office, former President Obasanjo enrolled in NOUN and graduated in 2009 and on Tuesday, September 30, 2014, he registered for MA in Christian Theology. After his registration many prominent followed his foot step and enrolled in NOUN.

Former President, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo has completed his Master’s degree program in Christian Theology from the National Open University of Nigeria (NOUN).  He concluded his studies during the 2014/2015 academic session.
Chief Obasanjo is one of 5,000 students set to graduate from NOUN next week.
The Master of Arts Degree in Christian Theology is under the School of Arts and Social Sciences, and Chief Obasanjo studied at NOUN Abeokuta study centre.
His two supervisors are Professor Isaac Ayegboyin, Head of Department of Religious Studies, University of Ibadan and Dr. Philip Tachin, lecturer in Systemic Theology Department.
- See more at: http://www.thewhistleng.com/obasanjo-bags-ma-in-christian-theology-from-noun/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=facebook#sthash.4NkwVoQR.dpuf

Former President, Chief Olusegun Obasanjo has completed his Master’s degree program in Christian Theology from the National Open University of Nigeria (NOUN).  He concluded his studies during the 2014/2015 academic session.
Chief Obasanjo is one of 5,000 students set to graduate from NOUN next week.
The Master of Arts Degree in Christian Theology is under the School of Arts and Social Sciences, and Chief Obasanjo studied at NOUN Abeokuta study centre.
His two supervisors are Professor Isaac Ayegboyin, Head of Department of Religious Studies, University of Ibadan and Dr. Philip Tachin, lecturer in Systemic Theology Department.
- See more at: http://www.thewhistleng.com/obasanjo-bags-ma-in-christian-theology-from-noun/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=facebook#sthash.4NkwVoQR.dpuf

Gays must be killed because arresting them isn’t enough-Politician

                                                                  Ken Msonda

A politician in Malawi has called for gay people to be murdered – because apparently arresting them isn’t good enough.
Two men were arrested in the country on gay sex charges last month, despite the government insisting that it would no longer arrest people for same-sex sexual acts.
The country is heavily reliant on Western aid money – and after international outcry Malawi’s Justice Minister has stepped in to quash the case and once again block enforcement of the anti-gay law.
However, the move hasn’t gone well with the country’s opposition People’s Party, founded by former Vice President Joyce Banda.
 Party spokesperson Ken Msonda made disturbing comments about the case on Facebook, writing of gay people: “Arresting them won’t address this problem because sooner or later they are being released on bail.
“The best way to deal with this problem is to KILL them!
“It is pathetic to see our media houses parading these dogs on TV and newspapers hiding behind human rights — human rights my foot! The devil has no rights!”
Many internet commenters in the country appeared to side with Msonda – but the Malawi Law Society spoke out to condemn his comments.

French president unveils memorial to victims of 2015 terrorism

President Francois Hollande of France was joined by a ring of other dignitaries and thousands of onlookers on Sunday to honor the nearly 150 French citizens who died in terrorist attacks in 2015. At the president's side was Paris Mayor Anne Hildago, and together they unveiled a plaque in the city's famous Place de la Republique to pay permanent homage to the victims.

Poland summons German ambassador over 'anti-Polish remarks'

Germany's ambassador to Warsaw has been summoned to meet with Foreign Minister Witold Waszczykowski on Monday as a row between the two countries concerning the new Polish government's policies continued to deepen.
A statement from the foreign ministry referenced "anti-Polish remarks by German politicians" after multiple politicians had questioned legislation supported by Poland's right-wing government.
But the spokesman for the German embassy in Warsaw, Lukas Wasielewski, played down the meeting, saying it did not represent a formal diplomatic summons. Instead he said he expects "a conversation among partners."

"I am not in the habit of replying silly comments on Poland made by foreign politicians," Ziobro wrote in the open letter.
"Such words, said by a German politician, cause the worst of connotations among Poles. Also in me. I'm a grandson of a Polish officer, who during World War II fought in the underground National Army with 'German supervision'," he said.