The
department of motor vehicles in your state or country will not issue you a
driver's license until you can prove to them (on a test, administered in
a crowded building by less-than-happy DMV employees, usually) that you
not only know how to read all road signs, but that you can also
interpret what they mean. The DMV wants to know you are competent enough
to obey posted signs—signs that indicate laws that were established for
our protection.
God has established laws in the universe He created. His laws are for
our benefit and blessing, to protect us and keep us from harming others
and ourselves. He has given us signs that He cares for us by
establishing laws governing our behavior. He's given us the Bible, the
church, pastors and teachers and leaders, our parents, coaches and the
experience of older people to warn us. If we ignore the signs, we pay
the price, just as ignoring road signs could cost us a speeding ticket
or a head-on collision. It could cost us a fine, our privilege of
driving or even our life. So it's much better to read the signs and obey
them. Or as one observer of life has pointedly reminded all of us, “You
better check yourself before you wreck yourself.”
Below, you'll find a basic list of words, attitudes, behaviors,
actions and reactions to serve as a grid ... a grid by which you can
judge your own level of emotional, spiritual, social and financial
maturity.
As you consider your maturity level, do not be discouraged if you
realize you do indeed need to grow up in one or more areas. Rather, be
motivated to change, make course corrections, get help, seek a mentor,
read some books, see a counselor, change jobs. If you merely feel bad
over being immature, you've missed the point. Think of these words as
shining a light into your life that will illuminate you to yourself. You
may need to grow up if ...
You are over 30 years old and still live with your parents.
With the exceptions of caring for aging or sick family members or the
sudden loss of a job, by your 30s, unless there is a physical or mental
limitation, you should be self-sufficient enough to leave the nest.
You have never had a job of any kind for more than six months.
If you have never worked, you need a job. Any job will do. Just start
somewhere. You need the experience. If you've had numerous jobs over the
years and none of them have lasted very long, it may be a sign that you
are lazy or easily bored or have a problem being told what to do by a
boss.
You are unable to pay your basic bills each month.
Without assistance from family members or friends, you simply could not
make it financially. This includes car insurance, rent, groceries, power
bill and basic medical expenses. If you can't pay your basic bills, you
will cause a train wreck later on.
As a general rule, you lack self-control in your life.
Whether it's your spending habits, how much you eat, the amount of time
you spend watching TV or your constant obsession with being online
(checking email, Facebook, Twitter or YouTube), these are signs of
immaturity, and are a crucial red flag that points to an inability to
control your desires.
Your relationships look more like a roller coaster than a marathon. You
are unable to develop long-term relationships with the opposite sex.
You've never learned how to push through problems, boredom or conflict,
and your default mechanism is to break it off and start a new one. Your
past is filled with failure in the area of commitment.
You always play the victim. You're always secretly
trying to uncover a conspiracy by your peers to exclude you from social
outings, parties, get-togethers or group dates. It's immature to think
the cosmic forces of nature and love have combined their powers to hurt
you. None of us are that important in the grand scheme of things.
You tend to speak negatively of other people.
Whether in one-on-one conversations or in large groups, your habit is to
bash or attack someone who is not present to defend themselves.
Immature people say things about people behind their backs (or online)
that they would never dream of saying to their faces.
You are plagued by jealousy. Little children get
upset on the playground when they see their best friend playing with or
talking to another child. Grown-ups get past this stage ... at least
they should. Are you consistently jealous of other people's possessions,
salaries, houses, cars, friends, physical appearance or family? Can you
celebrate the blessings of God in others' lives? Or does God's goodness
to others stir up envy inside your heart toward them?
You have trouble finishing. My two sons are
notorious for starting little projects around the house, getting bored
and then abandoning them for us to dean up. They don't know how to
finish things yet because they're not even 10 years old. Are you known
for beginning things all gung-ho with great passion, but you
consistently fizzle out and never see it through? Grown-ups finish what
they start.
You are crippled by debt. The most practical area of
your life to examine is your finances. If you owe tens of thousands of
dollars on credit cards, student loans, your car and so on, then your
problem is not your debt. It's immaturity. You haven't yet learned how
to live within your means.
You can't say no. If you are the guy or the girl who
is always taking care of others, bailing your friends out, staying up
til 2 a.m. on the phone trying to talk them out of another crisis, then
you will have a rude awakening when your own life expects you to give
your undivided attention.
You fall in love too fast. How many times have you
told someone that you were "in love" with them since you turned 18? This
may be an indication that you need to mature emotionally. Falling in
love after every first date shows you haven't really moved very far
toward emotional maturity. It also guarantees you will get hurt as often
as you fall in love, leaving your heart wounded for years to come.
Your relationships are too physical. If
you have a track record of messing around and messing up with just
about everyone you've ever liked or dated, this is bad news. When you
start out basing a relationship on making out, kissing or fooling around
physically, you teach yourself to ignore the other person, their
feelings and the self-control that is essential in a godly marriage.
Adults draw the line and stand back. Children run ahead without caution
and suffer for it.
You have a problem with authority. Children hate
being told what to do, regardless of their inability to be responsible
for themselves. Are you like that? Do you tend to rebel against all
forms of authority in your life? Do you balk at being told what to do by
the government, the IRS, even a traffic policeman? Grown-ups understand
that submission to authority is in their best interest, and they are
willing to submit to God first and then to one another. Immature kids
rebel.
Written
By Clayton King
