In full disclosure, many of these things were learned the hard way because I said many of these things.
So with that apology out in the open, here’s the list:
1. We’re not here to reach churched people.
Yes, Jesus said he came to earth to seek and save the lost. But that was not the ONLY thing he did.
He also spent significant time teaching a small group of followers
whom He said would go on to do greater things. I understand the heart
behind reaching the lost, and I understand tailoring certain
environments to accomplish that. But in your zeal to reach the lost,
don’t discount the comprehensive mission of the church—to go into all
the world and make disciples.
When you say, “We’re here to reach unchurched people … there are
plenty of churches for Christians,” you alienate people of faith and
communicate that they have no real place of ministry in your church. You
insult the 65-year-old grandmother who has served Jesus and children
for 40 years.
Whether you mean to or not, you foster a spirit of competition among
area churches over who is more evangelistic and who is more missional
and who is more Bible-based.
Say, “We care about reaching the lost,” but don’t say you don’t care about church for Christians.
2. Our people are just different.
Yes, there is a difference between rural people and urban city
dwellers. There is a difference between small churches and megachurches.
But don’t use this excuse.
When you can’t raise money for that project, don’t say, “My people
are just different … they don’t make as much money as the people in
other churches.” When your leaders don’t show up for a meeting, don’t
say, “Our area is just different because people are busier here.”
People have been the same since the Garden of Eden—they are broken by
sin and in need of grace. There are nuances that should mark your
ministry, but people are people.
Don’t let a love for your city turn into arrogant thinking.
Just because you’ve spent six years ministering in downtown Chicago
doesn’t mean that anyone from the South has no idea how to reach people
living in cities.Just because you pastor an 80-member church in rural America doesn’t
mean materials created in Nashville or a mentor from Atlanta can’t teach
you a thing or two about ministry
3. I don’t counsel people.
This kind of statement insulates you from the congregation, and while
you might think you need to do that in order to go to the next level,
bragging about your refusal to engage hurting people isn’t going to do
you any good.
You might not to be the primary counselor, especially if you’re not
trained to handle specific situations. But you should counsel someone.
You should stay connected at some level because it’s helpful, and
because you’ll stay connected to a hurting group of people who look to
you for advice.
If you pastor a large or rapidly growing church, you may not visit
everyone in the hospital, but you should visit someone, and you should
create a system that does provide personal pastoral ministry to
everyone. “I don’t visit people in the hospital, so if I show up, you
know it’s bad,” might sound funny from the stage, but it’s a
condescending position that attempts to maximize your visible value to
the church. But mostly, it makes people feel unimportant.
Refusing to engage people, even if it’s a small group of people, on a
personal level isn’t good leadership—it’s ministry arrogance. I was
guilty of this in the past, and I was wrong.
4. If I talk about money, people will leave.
Apologetically preaching on money won’t do you good in the long run.
Unchurched people aren’t stupid—they know it takes money to run a
church.
Don’t be held hostage by fear, either of offending the unchurched or
running off a key donor. Develop a holistic approach and a systematic
plan for talking about one of the most important subjects facing
21st-century America.
The reality is this: When you talk about money the right way, people are helped and they grow closer to Jesus.
Tearing down the idol of greed is an important part of the
discipleship process, and it should not be avoided or done in secret.
Christians need to understand that it’s not feeling generous but acting
generous that means they’re generous. They need to understand the
biblical principle of stewardship.
People who are not Christ-followers still feel burdened by debt and
out-of-control spending, and they crave helpful advice on the subject.
So pastor, don’t apologize for talking about money. Don’t introduce a
sermon or a series on money with an apology or a five-minute
disclaimer. Preach the whole counsel of God’s Word with boldness.
5. Pastoring a church is so hard and so different from every other job.
Ive written about this before,but as pastors it’s time to stop whining about how hard you have it.
Publicly discussing the holy hangover, the emotional Monday morning
effect that comes from preaching multiple times on Sunday, might earn
you sympathy points with other pastors, but most regular church members
think it’s silly. In their minds (and remember, perception feels like
reality), you stood in front of people for an hour and talked—something
they would love to do on a regular basis instead of working the night
shift or meeting a sales quota.
Other pastors understand the spiritual battle and the emotionally
draining reality of leading a church, but trying to convince your
congregation of this will make you seem out of touch.
And in some ways, full-time pastors who set much of their own
schedules, have work meetings over Starbucks or lunch, and speak to
large groups of people for a living have things much better off than the
salesman who has to meet a quota or the teacher who has to create
lesson plans and IEPs.
6. I don’t need to go to counseling.
About a year ago, I started going to counseling. And about a year ago, I started wishing I had gone much, much sooner.
As a pastor, I thought it was admitting weakness to go and talk to
someone about my issues. I thought I would lose credibility if word got
out I was seeking help.
In retrospect, I believe this is a lie from the devil. I wanted to
deal with stuff on my own, but it didn’t work. I wanted to pray problems
away because, after all, if I’ve got the Holy Spirit and the Bible;
that’s all I needed. But that’s neither true nor biblical. The book of
Proverbs is full of encouragement to seek the counsel of others.
There’s a pastor reading this who needs to go to counseling … who
needs to go with his wife to counseling. I can say this because I’ve
been there. Listen … overcoming that fear is nothing compared to the
crap you will deal with if you continue to refuse help. It’s not a sign
of spiritual maturity. It’s a sign of stubbornness and pride.
I have a great counselor, and she has been a huge help to me. I’ve
learned about the issues behind the issue, and not in some weird,
hyperspiritual, super-Freudian way. It’s just a healthy feeling.
7. Can I get a pastor discount?
There are many underpaid pastors in the world, including lead pastors, youth pastors and missionaries.
I remember my first job in ministry when I asked for a raise and was
told, “We’ve always wanted to get you UP to the level of a public school
teacher, but it’s going to take many years.” I could write about this
for a really long time, but that’s not my point today.
Good stewardship is a good thing, but poormouthing brings dishonor to the profession and calling of pastor.
I know a pastor who asked for a “pastor discount” at Home
Depot—apparently new kitchen cabinets can be used for the Lord’s Work. I
really do understand the financial limitations of most pastors and
churches, but in my humble opinion, constantly asking for discounts
seems to cheapen the importance of what pastors do.
I’m not advocating extravagant spending, from either the church or the leader, but a cheap mentality is deadly.
It leads to broke thinking, which is hurting the church.
