Lately I’ve been watching a lot of fighting movies. A few
people referred “IP Man” to me and I watched the first one last night. What I
extracted out of the movie inspired me to finally write this blog post. IP (the
main character) is the best fighter in the town, he is calm and collected,
never challenged a soul, never bragged, and never tried to prove himself. The
town itself was known for having many martial arts classes. IP who is well
capable of being a Master and more than qualified to teach never did. Many
people who were not even close to being as good as him had many students. Once
there was a group of men from outside the city who were loud, strong,
competitive who wanted to challenge every fighter in the town to show that they
were of great strength and that their leader was skilled. They were on a quest
to show what they have and take over the city with their talent. The leader
fought everyone and ended up beating every single challenger. When they
finished winning all the matches someone interrupted him on his little bragging
rant and said to him “you haven’t fought the best, IP.” The leader and his crew asked where to find
IP and from there went to IP’s home. IP declined them and politely asked them
to leave at first, but they wouldn’t until IP’s wife eventually hinted that he
could and IP fought and won effortlessly.
We live in a time where many were raised by single parents
and younger parents more than ever. It’s quite obvious that this current
generation lack morals, manners are a thing of the past. Many grown people act
like immature kids. It might have something to do with a bunch of kids having
and raising kids. That’s beside the point, all sorts of wrong popular beliefs
are everywhere throughout America nowadays.
All these toxic beliefs are bled into the relationship realm as well.
Where people are glorifying the wrong things and presenting them as right which
brings us to this topic of why mature men don’t want women with an attitude and
what’s wrong with attitudes.
1.) Bad attitudes
reflect a lack of growth.
We all have flaws that separates the mature and immature.
The mature grow and make necessary changes to evolve. The immature embrace
their flaws yes, but they justify them and seek to find strength in them instead
of growing from them. Many women of today are being taught by both men and
women that your flaws are never an issue it’s just people isn’t strong enough
to handle your character. They say things like “only a real man can put up with
my attitude” and other cliche things that justify for their lack of growth.
An attitude is a flaw, it’s something you have when you’re
not at peace with yourself. A short fuse means you have anger issues you need
to deal with, always being ready to tell someone off means you lack
self-control and respect. Being outspoken isn’t being loud and obnoxious, being
blunt and sarcastic isn’t commendable, being uncivilized isn’t showing them how
it is. The characteristic of a woman with a bad attitude are characteristics of
a child yet many men are taught to
embrace it as strength in a woman. Those characteristics are no different than
the ways of the fighter who had something to prove in the movie. Being better
than many in the martial arts field, he acted as if it was okay to be
uncivilized, loud, and ready to prove a point simply because he had talent. He
carried on as if it was the right way to conduct himself when he believes he is
the best. A mature man is looking for a
civilized woman who’s not obnoxious, who seeks peace, who’s soft spoken, meek,
wise, slow to anger. Everything that is opposite of what women of bad attitudes
represent. A mature man is looking for someone who is hesitant to prove a point
but quick to act in true humility.
2.) Being a woman without an attitude represents strength to
a man with understanding.
Unfortunately our backwards society believes wisdom is
weakness. A mature man has an understanding that wisdom is the strength. Every time “IP” turned down a fight in the
movie, anyone who doesn’t know him might have believed that the person
challenging IP is more skilled and strong than IP when in reality IP was being
wise, never felt the need to prove a point. He walked in humility, discipline,
and humbleness. Similar to that, people believe soft spoken women don’t have a
voice, they believe choosing peace is sending people the wrong signal that
she’s a doormat. They see foolishness in wisdom. As a man who has grown out of
many of my foolish ways and maturing, I appreciate those women who are wise and
walking in love and peace. Many mature men I know see those unpopular things
their women do as learning opportunities. I know a husband with some anger
issues who was always sarcastic to his wife, but his wife was always soft
spoken and slow to anger, she never reviled him. I never understood why and
thought she was weak for that. Every time this guy went off, she extended love
to him, little did I know as I was growing up that his actions would eventually
eat his conscious up, her kind reactions would stir something up in him. It
eventually led him to bettering his ways. She could have gotten in his face and
told him off and showed him that she doesn’t take crap from anyone almost every
time. Eventually they would argue enough and get divorced, but her soft answer
convicted him which is why proverbs says “a sound a soft answer turns away
wrath” it appeared to many as her being weak and a doormat when really her
theory was treat others as you want them to treat you even when they aren’t
treating you right. Kindness and love were the best solutions to her. She
traveled the road less traveled. A mature man wants a woman who is truly strong
and wise, a woman with conviction. A woman who can be a real difference maker
and add to his life.
3.) Mature men do not want unnecessary challenges.
We all face enough throughout our lives, financial
struggles, family troubles, heartbreaks and so forth. On a daily basis we face
stress, peace-less situations, we have to deal with other people at our jobs,
meet deadlines, handle things that are draining etc. We all face enough in life
without a partner, we don’t need to add to it.
A mature man is
usually someone who’s established and any established person will tell you that
life is good but it will throw you lemons. It makes absolute no sense to go
find more lemons on top of the one’s life throw at you. No man wants a woman
who’s going to make life a bit tougher. We don’t want to come home ready for an
argument, ready to fight, someone who’s going to give us another headache. We
don’t want to be disrespected or any of that. We aren’t looking for it. We
don’t want the time we spend with our women to be a competition. There’s enough
at work. we don’t want useless debates because we heard enough of that. There
shouldn’t be disrespect, tension etc.
Relationships are not easy. People will face things, but no man wants to
constantly face those things with his lady. Many women believe “well I do
things to help him relax sometimes, isn’t that good enough?” The challenge is
mainly during the times you aren’t doing that. The challenge is usually when
there’s a disagreement, when things aren’t smooth, sometimes right after you
make them relax. People with a short fuse are usually quick to be angry and
react, that means things go down often. No mature man wants that type of
challenge. We want a woman to challenge us to do better, to encourage us, to
grow with us, not someone who barely
does those things, but adds way more work. We don’t want to be in a
relationship where we’re always being nagged, argued with, disrespected etc
when we supposedly aren’t doing “our job.” We don’t want that negativity, we
want to live a drama free life. Live as peaceful as possible.
4.) Bad attitudes bring the worst out of a man.
Ever heard this quote by Mark Twain “Never argue with a
fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”? Well I always say,
arguing with fools will lead you to acting foolish. We are easily provoked;
it’s naturally easy to get a negative reaction out of human beings. If you say
something ugly to someone most likely they are going to retaliate the wrong
way. It’s hard to bite your tongue. Dating someone who is immature can lead to
you doing many things you would not usually do. Who you date has an affect on
who you become. Well dating a woman with an attitude can lead to becoming a bit
like them. A man can only stay peaceful long enough, be soft spoken long
enough, be passive long enough. Eventually dealing with a woman with an
attitude causes the person to bring the worst out of you because their actions
eventually sucked a reaction out of you. No mature man wants a woman by their side
who will bring out the part of him he has overcome or is trying to overcome.
He’s looking for someone who will challenge him and provoke him to do better
not worse.
There’s many more things we can discuss concerning how a
woman with an attitude isn’t a good thing and any grown and mature man isn’t
looking for that. As I said before, I am looking for a wife to eventually raise
my kids with, not a woman who’s going to be acting like a kid giving me two
kids to raise. Our backwards society believes good is bad and bad is good now.
Being rude, disrespectful, loud, immature isn’t okay and it’s not going to be
tolerated in the name of love. Some say, “well if he loves you he will grow
some balls and tolerate you.” Congrats to the men who are doing that, eventually
they will grow tired of that. No relationship should be a constant battle, no
peace, no humility and so forth. Some of us just don’t have the time and energy
to be someone who act such way. Many of us have grown from that and do not see
good in that. Men who are proud of women with such characteristics have not yet
to mature pass those stages themselves. Usually it’s the type of men who say “I
love when a woman jumps in my face, puts me in my place sometimes, women who go
blow for blow.” Well the problem is that you both are that way and find it
okay, but it’s really not okay. I personally still have some learning to do in
those area, i hate having some of those characteristic we now believe are
strength when really they are fools ways. But i’m willing to grow out of them
and will not settle for someone who isn’t doing the same. Mature people, not
only men strive to love all, respect all, be meek, soft spoken, kind, and
peaceful.
Written by Pierre
Alex Jeanty
Pierre Alex
Jeanty is regular guy who sees things different from the majority. He is the
founder of Gentlemenhood. A full time blogger, Author, social media specialist,
health nut, Certified Life Coach and most importantly a disciple of Christ.
Born in Port-au-Prince, Haiti now Alex resides in Lehigh Acres, Florida where
he focuses on making a difference in this world.
