Signs to know that it’s Time to Let Go

Holding on is being good and brave, but letting go when things are getting irritating and moving on is often what makes us stronger and happier.

 Here are seven signs it’s time to let go:

Someone expects you to be someone you’re not. – Don’t change who you are for anyone else.  It’s wiser to lose someone over being who you are than to keep them by being someone you’re not.  Because it’s easier to mend a broken heart, than it is to piece together a shattered identity.  It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space inside yourself where you used to be.

 A person’s actions don’t match their words. – Everybody deserves somebody who helps them look forward to tomorrow.  If someone has the opposite effect on you, because they are consistently inconsistent and their actions don’t match up with their words, it’s time to let them go.  It’s always better to be alone than to be in bad company.  True friendship is a promise made in the heart – silent, unwritten, unbreakable by distance, and unchangeable by time.  Don’t listen to what people say; watch what they do.  Your true friends will slowly reveal themselves over time.

 You catch yourself forcing someone to love you. – Let us keep in mind that we can’t force anyone to love us.  We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave.  That’s what love is all about – freedom.  However, the end of love is not the end of life.  It should be the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves for a reason, but never leaves without a lesson.  If someone truly loves you, they will never give you a reason to doubt it.  Anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you, but it takes someone really special to stay in your life and prove how much they love you.  Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right person, but the right person is always worth the wait.

 Someone continuously breaks your trust. – Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to.  When you completely trust a person, without any doubt, you’ll automatically get one of two results – a FRIEND for life or a LESSON for life.  Either way there’s a positive outcome.  Either you confirm the fact that this person cares about you, or you get the opportunity to weed them out of your life and make room for those who do.  In the end you’ll discover who’s fake, who’s true, and who would risk it all for you.  And trust me, some people will totally surprise you.

 You are never given a chance to speak your mind. – Sometimes an argument saves a relationship, whereas silence breaks it.  Speak up for your heart so that you won’t have regrets.  Life is not about making others happy.  Life is about being honest and sharing your happiness with others.

 You are obsessed and living in the past. – Eventually you will overcome the heartache, and forget the reasons you cried, and who caused the pain.  Eventually you will realize that the secret to happiness and freedom is not about control or revenge, but in letting things unfold naturally, and learning from your experiences over the course of time.  After all, what matters most is not the first, but the final chapter of your life, which unveils the details of how well you wrote your story.  So let go of the past, set yourself free, and open your mind to the possibility of new relationships and priceless experiences.

 You are frequently forced to sacrifice your happiness. – If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative before you know it.  Know when to close the account.  It’s always better to be alone with dignity than in a relationship that constantly requires you to sacrifice your happiness and self-respect.

Written by AdeBimpe Obaoye

When divorce is not an option

The average couple in today's world has thought about divorce at least once during their marriage. God has put you and your spouse together for a reason — and it's not to argue. You are bonded together to cultivate in each other those virtues that lead to sanctification. Marriage is not one size fits all and most importantly,marriage is an institution where you cannot graduate.And for some, divorce is a constant threat. For others, divorce feels like their only hope. Whether you have thought about divorce once or you think about it every day, this article gives eight good reasons why divorce is not an option.

  Your Kids
The first reason is something we all know about and we all consider: the kids. Should you stay married for the children? Well, at least think about how it will affect them. You might get over it in time. They never will.
They will never get over the loss of their family, and their lives will never be the same. Never. When Mom and Dad go apart, and start living separate lives, a child's world is never the same, and they must navigate a new reality. For that boy or girl, the fairy tale is officially over. Yes, kids do "move on," but they are affected by it forever.

Custody

The next reason is very closely related to the first. It also deals with children. The number one reason was how it affected the lives of the children.
One of the worst things about divorce, if children are involved, is a new dirty word you will become very familiar with: custody. You no longer have the children in your home, full-time, as you always have. You will be sharing time with those children with your ex-partner, and you will have to arrange your whole life to accommodate these arrangements.
If you are the non-custodial parent, you can never get those hours back, and you will miss those children, guaranteed. 

It brings Emotional Devastation

Divorce is emotionally devastating for most people. Divorce forces us to kill all of the dreams we were counting on when we decided to marry our mate. It separates us from the one person we believed would always be there for us, holding our hand when we got old and feeble. We may deny the pain, but there is always pain with divorce. Divorce is a type of death, and we will need to grieve from the pain, just as we do when a person we love dies.Divorce is the ultimate rejection, because we are either rejecting, or being rejected by, the one person who knew us most in this world.

 Loss of Confidence
 Another aspect of confidence that is affected is our confidence in our desirability. This why newly divorced often go through a stage of serial dating, desperately seeking to re-establish themselves as attractive and wanted. Or they may fall into another relationship right away, rebounding, and not choosing someone that is healthy for them, compounding and complicating the already raw wound of divorce.

 Loss of Identity

When divorce happens, both individuals lose the roles of husband and wife that they were accustomed to. Even if the marriage is troubled, there is still security in knowing that you are this person's wife or husband, and all of that is gone when the divorce papers are signed. You are no longer the wife of so-and-so, but you are now the "ex" of so-and-so, not a very affirming title.

 Loss of Family

Now, this is a very difficult one, and very painful for many people. You know how when you got married, everyone said you were marrying your fiance's family, as well as your fiancé? Well, this truth also works in reverse. When you divorce your wife, you are also divorcing her family. IN MOST CASES. You see, just like the friends, family will often feel forced to take sides, and guess who they are going to pick? Of course, their son or daughter! So, the relationship with your in-laws will probably change, if not end.

 Loss of Friends

Something you might not realize when contemplating a divorce is that your social life will change. Socially, a person's marital status is important, and affects the dynamic of a social situation. Couples often feel more comfortable being friends

Financies

The longer a couple stays married, the more time they have to build up assets and their livelihood. You often see couples who have been together for a long time with a great deal of financial stability. Staying together often allows couples to accumulate assets, a good reputation, as both of them work together for the good of their household. Divorce disrupts this building process, and forces both members of the couple to start from scratch, and therefore can be very hard on both party's financial situation.

Divorce is expensive in so many ways. There are the actual legal costs of obtaining a divorce judgment. If there are children involved, custody must be decided. If there are assets, they must be divided. All of these things usually involve lawyer billing hours. Anytime a judge is involved, you must pay for the lawyer's time.

with other couples, and making the switch to two singles instead of one deuce will shake everything up. If you are really close, the couple might choose to see both of you at different times but if the tie between the two couples was based mostly on one of the persons in the divorced couple, your friends will often feel forced to take sides, to be loyal to their original friend. This doesn't sound very nice, but it's a reality.

 Dr Adebanjo Owolabi is a marriage cousellor,a writer and family awareness event planner

HOW TO CREATE A FAMILY BUDGET

You Creating Your Own Household Budget.

1) Start with the biggest percentage.

Are there any monthly or yearly bills that you need to pay? Some examples would be car payments, rent or

mortgage, utilities (such as water, electricity, etc), and insurance (medical, dental, etc). Try to round either up or down to the nearest $10 for an average es5mate on how much you spend for each item.

2) Begin calculating for every day essentials.

How much per week do you spend on gas? What is the usual amount that you spend on groceries, or how

many times per week do you go out instead of home cooking? Think of other essential things that you need, not want.You should spend as normal, but take a receipt or note down every time you get your wallet or purse out. At the end of the day, tally this up, either on paper, your computer or your phone. Make sure you note exactly what you spent it on and don't use a generic term such as food or transport.

3) Create an area for your earnings.

 Include all earnings, whether it's properties, "under the table" jobs (money you take home, without taxes being taken out), money you found on the ground, and your salary (or monthly balance if you're paid every other week.

4) Make an area for your "Monthly Income".

This is what you take home after taxes are being taken out, if applicable. This is the amount on your paycheck,not your total earnings for the time period.

5) Put your monthly income and your total expenses number side-by-side. Once you have tallied up about a month's worth of expenses, divide up your expenses into the categories of necessites, sanity savers and luxuries.

6)  Calculate how much your short term, medium term and long term goals are going to cost.

Do you need to replace any household items this year? Do you need a new pair of boots this year? Do you

want to buy a car? Plan for this in advance and you won't need to draw on your long term savings. Another important point to note is that you should aim to only buy these items a;er you have saved for them. Ask yourself, do you really need it right now?

Written by Ebun

Newborn Baby Boy Buried Alive Defies Odds BUT Survived

The rising numbers of abandoned babies are disturbingly alarming. However, it seems like heaven is guiding these little angels as there are improbable stories of newborns surviving against all odds. Just like the story of this newborn baby boy who was abandoned and buried alive for eight days in an unmarked grave in China but miraculously survived.

A middle-aged woman named Lu Fenglian was collecting herbs for Chinese medicine on the mountain of Tian Dong County when she suddenly heard a child crying coming from beneath the earth.
Fearing that she had stumbled upon “spirits”, she immediately ran to a Buddhist temple for help.

Fenglian together with the 75-year-old Monk Zhao Shimin immediately returned to the scene where she heard the cries. But the monk soon realized that a child must have been buried underground where there are numerous unnamed graves.
The monk immediately called the police who later arrived and began digging up, until they located the child buried five centimeters below the surface.
The baby was in a cardboard box and was covered in earth and soil with some blankets and other items of clothing found inside.
 Police traced the parents of the baby who happens to be a young couple from nearby Siping Village in Ping Ma town.

According to CNN report, the family including the baby’s grandmothers allegedly hired a man for $290 to get rid of the baby. The police arrested five people for attempted murder including the baby’s parents, both of his grandmothers and the man they hired to kill the newborn.

But the baby’s parents were released on bail and are now trying to have him back. They even wrote a letter of apology with a promise not to hurt him.

Culled from the internet

STARTUP STRATEGY

HOW TO HEAR FROM GOD

God is constantly speaking to people. But too often, they miss out on hearing God’s messages because they seek His guidance only occasionally – usually when they’re going through a crisis or facing a major decision. Then, with a dire need to hear from God, people become confused and frustrated when they don’t clearly hear what they should do. They start to wonder how to hear from God and why they aren't.
 It doesn’t have to be that way. God wants everyone to hear His messages clearly, and it’s possible to do so. The key is to forget about formulas and gimmicks for hearing from God, and to focus instead on developing the kind of relationship with God that will empower you to hear God speaking regularly.

 Recognize that God has created you for a close friendship with Himself. 
By design, the way you hear best from God is in the context of a friendship with Him. God intends for you to figure out His will freely and intelligently as you engage in regular conversations with Him. God’s will is to be personally present with you and speaking with you moment by moment as you go through life. Then you’ll grow to understand Him more and become more like His Son, Jesus.

 Consider your motives for wanting to hear from God. 
 Honestly reflect on why you want to hear from God. Is it because you’re truly open to whatever God has to say and committed to putting His guidance into action and fulfilling His purposes, even when doing so is challenging? Or is it for a selfish reason, such as wanting to feel righteous or comforted? Confess and repent of any wrong motives. Ask God to give you an openness to hear and respond faithfully to what He wants to tell you.

 Make your goal more than just hearing God.
 While it’s important to hear from God, that shouldn’t be your ultimate goal. Instead, make your main goal to become a spiritually mature person in a close relationship with God. That’s the only way you’ll clearly and correctly hear what God has to say to you.

 Know that you’re important to God, but be humble. 
Have the confidence that God is willing to speak to you just as powerfully as He did to the people in the bible,because He values you just as much. However, don’t let pride creep into your soul, because you must be humble in order to faithfully receive and respond the messages God has for you.

 Recognize that God communicates in many forms, but most often through your mind. 
God may choose any one of many different ways to communicate to you, according to what’s best at particular times and in particular circumstances. You may sometimes hear God’s message in dramatic ways, such as through angels, visions, or miraculous events. But more often, you’ll hear God speaking through your thoughts, and He will use ordinary practices such as reading the Bible, praying quietly, learning from circumstances, or seeking counsel from other Christians to reach out to you as you think about them. God will use dramatic means to get your attention when necessary, but His goal is for you to be so closely connected to Him that you’ll pay attention whenever He speaks to you.

 Renew your mind. Since God often speaks to you through your mind and wants you to develop what the Bible calls the “mind of Christ” (the ability to make decisions as Jesus would), it’s crucial for you to follow the Bible’s urging in Romans 12:2: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed through the renewal of your mind.

 Written by Whitney Hopler
 
Whitney Hopler is a freelance writer and editor who serves as both a www.Crosswalk.com contributing writer and the editor of www.About.com

WHAT IS IN YOUR HANDS

Many people are unfruitful because they believe they are not qualified to do what God calls them to do! God has given men and women gifts from his great armoury so that God's generosity can flow through you but many people cannot see what they carry because they cannot see.
Pharaoh was coming behind and in front of moses and the people was the red sea and moses cried to God.How did God answer? "Moses, what is in your hand?"
 Exodus 4:2 "And the LORD said unto him, What is that in thine hand? And he said, A rod.
For Moses, it was a staff. It wasn't a crown, scepter, or sword. It was a simple stick. And it became one of the greatest supernatural weapons in human history.
 So what do you already have in your possession? Speaking ability? Artistic ability? Money? Friendships? All of us have something we can use to accomplish our part in God's work here on earth as we serve one another.
 God has not created anyone without something that would bring them to their promised land. He (God) doesn’t make mistakes. There is something that God has placed in your hands to make you great. Many times, we don’t attach much value to what’s in our hands. We always think what we have is not worth anything. Instead we focus our attentions on what God has placed in somebody elses’ hands! The fact that someone may be prospering as a nurse or doctor does not mean that’s the only thing to study. We are not satisfied with the very thing God has placed in our own hands!
 There is something in your hands that may appear useless to you but when you believe in yourself and pray,it can bring you into limelight.People are notorious for saying things like: Who knows me? Nobody will take me serious? I only have a high school diploma!
Everything you need to succeed in life is in your hands. 
Most of us have made useless what God gave to us. Friends, even if all you can do is “TALK”, then talk and make money from talking if that is what can bring you into limelight! That thing in your hands that you ignore, that seems useless to you, perhaps a dream, might be the VERY THING that would make you great. Those things (or people) you do not cherish, recognize, or honor may be the key to your breakthrough!!!!!
 It was the same rod that Moses thought was USELESS that he used to provide water for the Israelites and part the red sea! Something in your hands will take you to your next level. What you have in your hands is enough to turn you into what God wants you to be.

I remain yours
Dipo Olatade

How to turn your setback into a comeback

A setback is an unexpected change from better to worse, a disappointment, a reversal.

Have you recently experienced a setback in your family, or in your personal life, in your physical body, at work, in a relationship, loss of a loved one, in your finances, in your relationship with God — and it’s begun to make you worry and wonder where God is – and if you will ever recover…I have a word for you.

God in his mercy is turning your setback into a come back.

King David experienced a terrible setback in his family. David’s daughter Tamar is seduced and raped by one of David’s sons, Ammon, who is then murdered by another son, Absalom, to take revenge.
 As a result Absalom is banished from the kingdom. So David lost a son to murder, had a horrendous thing happen to his daughter, and then his beloved, yet murderous Absalom is banished from the kingdom because as King, though he loved his son, he was charged to uphold the law. That’s where this entire world was before God sent Jesus. We were banished from a loving yet just and holy God because we all have broken the law.
NOW,HOW DO YOU TURN YOUR SETBACK INTO A COMEBACK?

 Redefine what failure means to you.

Intellectually we know that our mistakes yield the opportunities and insights we need to ultimately succeed in life. So when rejections come, or the boss says no, or you lose the financing, house, or whatever it is that you wanted, slow down and notice what isn’t working. Stop focusing on all the ways you’re screwed, and start thinking about the information that failure offers. It’s usually telling us to find a new way, or to redirect our energies.

Learn to accept your mistakes and don't blame God for what you are going through.
It can be challenging to accept that we've made mistakes, especially if we're coming from a perfectionist background where "excellence" is confused with "never making a mistake." Making a mistake is also sometimes different from failure; failure is a result of not succeeding at a conscious effort, but mistakes can be unconscious.You have made mistakes,accept that fact.Many times when things go wrong in our lives, especially if we think we have been doing well (at least by our own standards) we tend to blame God or other.that's very wrong,accept the responsibility that you made mistakes.

Experience disappointment, but don’t wallow in it.

Of course it hurts when our dreams get derailed. Allow yourself to experience the frustration and disappointment that comes with failure, then get up and get going again. Don’t deny your emotions, but make sure that you also come up with another avenue, activity, or interest to pursue so you don’t get stuck in the despair.

  Detach yourself from pity party and focus on the process.

We can become so attached to people who will pity us that we feel lost and devastated when we don’t get that one result,but how can we when you are moving with the wrong people?. If there is only one way to succeed, then disappointment will inevitably loom. Focus instead on the process: What is it that is driving you toward your desired outcome? What are your passions and values? Are the steps you’re taking toward your goal in line with those things? If you are growing and learning and living close to people that have values and passions all along the way, any outcome you achieve will feel worthwhile—even if it is not your ideal because you have people with value around you who will counsel you.

Get Out Of Your Head

Take a  break (longer if required) and re-group. You may require a fair bit longer depending on the severity of the situation. But here is why you do it. You have to separate yourself from the situation or set of circumstances. Ultimately, who you are can never be defined by your current situation or by any setback. You have to take a step back and see that you are so much more that anything that might happen to you in this world.

Fast and pray

Sometimes,all you need is to look yourself up somewhere.If you can fast and pray too seek the face of God atleast for a week or months,God will reveal what went wrong and the solution you need.All you need is an instruction.

HOW TO SUCCEED IN A BAD ECONOMY

These are important practices that have helped me not only stay in business but grow my business over the past three years which I feel are important to share.
You have to be happy when the economy of your nation is bad because you have the solution in your hands.
Whether you are a business owner or executive or a salesperson or customer service representative you may find some benefit from these ideas.  I believe that the success of our great nation and continent is dependent on the success of small business.  Without successful small business and entrepreneurs we will lose innovation and drive.  In order for small business to survive in the new global economy we must adapt and act quickly, with these few ways.
1.    Remember Your Core Values 

Remember when you started your business or your new job?  Why did you start that business?  Why did you get that new job?  Did you find wrongful practices in your industry that you felt should be changed?

When I started my business in September 2007 I saw many things wrong with my industry. I saw competitors price going higher and clients and providing less than professional services. I felt that businesses in our nation deserve better quality work and fair pricing.In tough times it’s imperative that we remember to stick to our core values.  If you value honesty, integrity, and loyalty to your customers then make sure you remember to apply these virtues every day.  You may have bad days and you may have good days; the economy may be up and down; your sales may be up or they may be down.  At the end of the day it’s your values that will drive your success.

2     Stay Innovative; Don’t try to Re-Invent the Wheel

I recently attended a seminar in A Beachy environment about innovation.  The seminar reinforced my own philosophy of always doing things differently.  Keeping your methods diverse will help you become more innovative.  Innovation is the key to growing your business – coming up with new ideas and new methods will allow you to get ahead of your competition. 

Innovation doesn’t mean re-inventing the wheel.  If you have ideas that work and they work well then don’t waste your time trying to fix something that isn’t already broken.  Instead you should focus on areas that you know can use improvement. Always think outside the box.

 3.    Don’t Hide from your Customers

As the owner of a small business that provides professional services I deal with other businesses on a daily basis.  One of the biggest problems I’ve seen with businesses is that when the economy is down they will hide from their customers.  When business is slow the worst thing you can do is hide in a corner.  When demand is low and supply is high you must make yourself visible. 

So how do you make yourself visible?

There are traditional forms of advertising but as I’m sure you’re already aware they can be very costly.  It is important that you evaluate your advertising and marketing efforts regularly and measure your Return on Investment.  Additionally you should look for new effective methods of getting your name out there.

 4.    The Customer is Always Right, Always

Growing up my father always told me “The customer is always right”.  This is the golden rule of business and it is something that I live by. 

I remember when I was in Middle School my oldest sister worked at an ice cream shop.  At dinner one night she told my family about something that made her upset at work.  A customer had complained to the owner that the ice cream he was given was too melted to enjoy.  Rather than offering him his money back or giving him a new ice cream cone the owner of the store said “I don’t need your business.  If you’re going to complain then get out of my store and don’t come back.”   Well that customer didn’t come back and the ice cream shop went out of business later that summer.

 Customer service goes a long way.  Whether you are a large corporation or small business the most important part of business is customer service.  Without your customers you won’t have a business.
 So how can you improve customer service? 
You can start by coaching your employees regularly about customer service.  They may try to fight it at first especially if they think you are being redundant but as long as you make sure you get your point across then they should understand.  After all it’s not just your business they are representing but they are representing themselves as well.

 5.    Stay on Target

The final practice I will leave you with is making sure you stay on target.  When you formed your business or started your new job you most likely had goals.  If you ever wrote a business plan then you came up with short term and long term goals. 

When money gets tight sometimes it’s easy to forget your goals.  If your short term goals seem out of reach then it’s okay to adjust your short term goals to adapt to the present situation while still keeping your long term objectives in place. 

When supply is high and demand is low you should lower your prices to keep sales up.  When supply is low and demand is high it’s okay to increase your prices to grow your business by implementing new technologies, hiring new personnel, or reaching out to new markets.  When you are doing well is when you should begin implementing marketing campaigns so that you won’t have to worry about breaking your piggy bank to advertise when business is slow. 

It’s good to set goals that are beyond your reach or the reach of your sales force.  It will keep you and your sales team on your feet and prevent you from slipping into a comfort zone.

Written by Israel Koffi Abrobah.

Israel Koffi Abrobah is a counselor and business man residing at Accra Ghana.He is a writer,a motivational speaker and a business consultant

RULES OF SUCCESS

Today, let me briefly introduce you, to the rules of success. To every game, there are rules and likewise to every musical instrument,there are rules that guide its lyrics.For example, you can't want to play a saxophone, the way you play a guitar.Likewise,you can't want to play a football, the way you play a basketball.
The question here is this,why am I painting this scenario?
The answer is simple,You function effectively in the place of your gifting compare to every other area of your life and the rules that govern these area is discovery. First you have to discover, in other for you to recover.After discovery,you have to take time out to do feasibility study, then analyse,and go straight into action. 
Analyses here involves synthesizing or breaking down in small pieces the input you are intending to exert on that particular assignment.      

• The rules of success are painted below:

1. Do what you love to do: Find your true passion
2. Be different: Think different "Better be a pirate that join the navy"
3. Do your best: Do your best at every task.Success generates more success, therefore be hungry for it.In your organization,hire good people with passion for excellence.
4. Make SWOT analyses: As soon as you start a company, make a list of strength and weaknesses of yourself and your company on a sheet of paper. Don't hesitate in throwing bad peoples out of the company.
5. Be entrepreneurial: Look for the next big thing. Find a set of ideas that need to be quickly or decisively acted upon and jump through that window. Sometimes the first step is the hardest one.
6. Start small, think big: Don't worry about too many things at once. Take a handful of simple things to begins with, and then progress to more complex one.
7. Strive to become a market leader: Own and control the primary technology in everything you do.
8. Focus on the outcome: People judge you by your performance, so focus on the outcome.Be a yardstick for quality.And advertise your product,because if they don't know it,they will not buy it."Advertisement as you know is the keys to business enlargement.
9. Ask for feedback: Ask for feedback from people with diverse backgrounds.Each one will tell you, one useful thing.
10. Innovate: Innovation distinguishes a leader from a follower.Delegate, let other top executives do 50% of your routine work to be able to spend 50% of your time on the new stuff.Say no to 1000 things to make sure you don't get on the wrong track or try to do too much. Concentrate on really important creations and radical innovation.Hire people who want to make the best thing work in the world. 

Written by Yinka olawunmi
 www.facebook.com/olayink.olawunmi,wwwschoolofsuccess.weebly.com

Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid

For all the time,great leaders spend concerned about physical strength and health, when it comes down to it.mental strength can mean even more. Particularly for entrepreneurs, numerous talk about critical characteristics of mental strength—tenacity, “grit,” optimism, and an unfailing ability.

1.    Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair.

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3.    Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control. Mentally strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.
5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.
6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.
7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.
8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes.Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.
9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.
10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.
11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.
12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

Written by Cheryl Conner