Enjoying Life by letting go of the past

Letting go of the past is not an easy thing to do. All of us at some point in our lives have held on to past memories. Many of these things that we have had a tendency to hold on to have caused us to have feelings that are not good and I am saying this because I have been through so many ups and downs in my life. Not letting go of the past is also the reason there are so many conflicts in the world and disagreements between nations.

When you hold on to a past memory that is negative, you don’t feel good about yourself. Your self-esteem gets lower. Then everything in your life gets worse. It is like a snowball rolling down a mountain. As the big snowball rolls down the mountain, it increases in speed and intensity until it hits the bottom and becomes a pile of wet snow. Similarly, that’s what will happen to you in your life if you don’t let go of negative past experiences. When you hang on to these negative experiences, they make you feel bad and they won’t allow you the chance to succeed and experience the good things that life has to offer. Holding on to these negative experiences is like holding onto a cup of poison. When I was going through my issues for much of the year 2011, I kept on searching for answers. On the night of November 30, 2011, I was saved by a stranger that I met and talked to for a half hour. I walked away from that conversation feeling so much better. It was as if a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. All the emotional baggage and anger issues that had bothered me for almost a full year were gone in an instant.

I felt as free as a bird and I still do. I felt like I had the wings to fly. The world and the Universe are smiling at me now as I write this.

The power of this experience allows me now to enjoy life once again with no major issues. Enjoying life is your right because you deserve this. I will be discussing in future posts how to enjoy life more.

Now your next question might be how do I let go of negative past events? How do I make it so that I begin to enjoy life again?  Life experience is the best way to learn how to be mature enough to let go of the negative past events, move forward and enjoy your life again. It is your responsibility to recognize that these events serve no purpose. They hold you back and prevent you from living the kind of life that you want to live. And they certainly do not allow you to attract positive events into your life.

If such as you have a grudge or a problem with a friend because of the way that he or she treated you, do you think that this feeling is going to help you? Having a problem with a friend obviously doesn’t help you. What do you suppose the strategy would be to solve this situation? The strategy would be to think about ways to improve the relationship with your friend if it is possible. Sometimes in friendships, one person wants to go their separate ways and if that happens, the best thing to do is to accept that this happened and move on. Holding on to resentment that you have towards another person is not good human relations. There is no escape from human relations because everywhere that you go, you will be around people. Letting go of a grudge towards a person allows you to have a better life because you will be enjoying life more. A life free of resentment is another step to enjoying life.

The next thing that I would suggest that you do is to focus on what outcome that you want to have happen. As you focus on a desired outcome, then your mind and subconscious mind begin to find ways to help you create something similar to what you are focusing on. All you have to do is just focus on what you want to have happen, have faith that it will happen at the right time, and then be open to accepting the outcome. You really need to trust that you will receive what you focus on. This is the most important part of the process. This is a brief summary of the steps outlined in the movie The Secret.

For example, if you would like to have a cup of coffee, then focus on having that cup of coffee. Make it your intention to attract that cup of coffee that you want. Believe and have faith that the nice, hot cup of coffee will eventually be yours to enjoy. Your mind will come up with ways to help you get that cup of coffee. It is important to relax and have faith in the Universe. Then, be open to accepting that cup of coffee and enjoy it as much as you can.
 
I know that this was a very simple example. You can us this process when you focus on getting anything that you want no matter how big it is. Size does not matter at all to the Universe. The Universe would probably laugh and say “What size? Size doesn’t matter to me. You just ask for what you want and I’ll bring it to you. Just trust me.” That’s how the Universe would communicate if it were a human. This is a Universe that is full of laws and everything that happens in our lives happens because we attract what we focus on with the greatest power and intention. It is my belief that we live in a world where the Universe is very kind to us.

I realize that negative event s happen to everyone. But holding on to memories of negative events or feeling anger towards a friend or someone you know is not worth it. Such memories and feelings create stress and they can make you feel sick in the long term. These situations can create major health problems for you. It takes the experience of living life to come to the realization that holding on to negative memories or bad feelings towards people that we know is not good for us. Such feelings are not good for our physical, mental or emotional health.

From this moment forward, I choose to let go of any anger or resentment towards a person. You can do the same if you really focus on making it a reality. The other choice is to hold on to that resentment which is not good for you. What choice will you make today? I hope it is the choice to let go of the past and enjoy your life.

Written by Olukayode Orikeye

THE FATE OF THE NIGERIAN YOUTH

Nigeria a great land of diverse cultures and people, a land filled with Milk and Honey, like the cannan Land, the most populous black nation in the world, the most religious and with large mass of land, blessed with Oil and various National Resources and the greatest Resource, the Human Resource…

The vision 2020 is a vision the Nigerian Government has set their focus on, but without the end of corruption and without youth empowerment, it can’t be fully achieved, it won’t take another Fela Anikulapo Kuti or another Great Activist to do it, but You and I, because, even the anti-graft bodies cannot put an end to it, the man that tried to do something about corruption though he was politically motivated was hewed down by the same corrupt politicians that used him to achieve their political aim.

Someone once asked me what lies ahead of the Nigerian Youth? and I said More Unemployment, if not high rate of poverty, and even worse government except we put an end to all the child play, when I voiced this out, I was accused of being a pessimist, Not that I don’t believe in the Nigerian dream but change is the pathway of achieving the Nigerian dream…

I said Change.

If you dont change our mindset as youths,the future is not sure.

Let’s look at the Nigerian youth today and figure their sense of responsibility towards the Nigerian Dream, the ratio is below

40% OF THE NIGERIAN YOUTH = Believe fraud (Yahoozee) / looting of government funds is their easiest way to wealth (Going into politics for the sake of looting government funds) and other dubious means to wealth…

25% OF THE NIGERIAN YOUTH = Believe travelling abroad for greener pastures is their easiest way to wealth, thereby causing capital flight.

20% OF THE NIGERIAN YOUTH = Believe Education is their easiest way to wealth

(Due to lack of job/Unemployment after schooling, this spot soon drops below)

10% OF THE NIGERIAN YOUTH=

10% OF THE NIGERIAN YOUTH = Believes a change or rather being employed/ starting out as an entrepreneur is the easiest way to wealth (This group’s ratio soon goes down due to economic sabotage or Lack of Funds to manage the business)

5% OF THE NIGERIAN YOUTH = Believes in the Nigerian Dream, a dream that one day Nigeria will have a place for them too (some in this group are graduates, secondary school leavers etc) but they have this conviction of the Nigerian dream and they ignore all the evil means to wealth and the cleave to the Nigerian dream…..

The dream of taking Nigeria to High …. The dream that one day the things we don’t have would be past and the things we have would speak for us.

In the above listed group, where do you belong as a Nigerian youth?

Leadership is not meant to be measured by age but by vision. We have millions of Obamers in Nigeria but they can’t manifest their dreams because of the current state of the country and leaders who refuse to shift away from the seat of power (The same Old Politician way rule Nigeria before) The leaders who see the youth as miscreants that can be used as political thugs, leaders who are suppose to be elders but metamorphosis into political god fathers who remain as top dogs after elections and torment the young and vibrant politicians in power.

Take a walk, go out in the street and see what I am talking about, the security guards at the gate of your banks and offices, that mechanic guy who fix your car, the petrol attendant at the filling station, that wise igbo boy selling on the traffic, that lady who always bring Agege bread to your office in the morning, that creative hair dresser, fashion designer, the technician, plumber name them, so many of them, Nigerian youth with highly technical skills; All image not withstanding the bad economic and unfavorable leadership policies, the Nigerian youth still strive on and storm the weather, given an ideal situation the Nigerian youth is dynamic, intelligent and creative. Yes talk about spots, music, the art world, academics, entrepreneur etc both at home and abroad.

Please any where you find a Nigeria youth in need. Assist he or she, for you will be glad you did.

GREAT NIGERIAN YOUTH WHEN WILL THOU ARISE AND NOT LET THE DREAM OF OUR FATHERS DIE

Youth of Nigeria you have no problem, you are already blessed, been born as a Nigeria is enough for you to be grateful to GOD, all you need to do, is to know and find out

What did live have for you?

What do you want from live

And what do you want to give back to live; By the time you have answers to all these three live related attribute, then you are ready to be a GREAT NIGERIA YOUTH. Don’t fail the Nigeria dream, let’s stand and say YES to the Nigerian Dream. 

Writing by Adewole Olanrewaju and copy from

The negative effect of a broken home

There is no disputing the fact that the home or the conditions in which a child grows up in determine the eventual outcome of that child. The home is the first school of life the child is enrolled in and where that home fails to provide lessons that would mould and keep the child grounded, such individual ends up exhibiting some questionable personality traits or character flaws.

The role of both parents can, therefore not be overemphasized. The presence of the father as breadwinner, authority figure and role model should instil in the child the discipline and focus required to succeed in life. Consequently, the presence of the mother as care giver, support system (both morally and spiritually) and disciplinarian is needed to guide the child through the right paths in life. One should also note that other members of the family at large have their distinct roles to play in ensuring that the child is brought up properly where he does not end up becoming a menace to the society.

The parents are the primary authority figures in the child’s life and their attitude or actions in the home towards the child, with each other and with others, could make or mar the child depending on the level of influence or quality of value instilled in the child. Where at an early age, the child is exposed to circumstance that contradicts the normal status quo in the family, that child is bound to pick up harmful social vices. For instance, if a child grows up in a home where the father as an authority figure tries to exert that authority by being overbearing and harsh, this could lead to the child becoming insecure or intimidated by the father. In some extreme cases where the father beats both wife and children, it leaves a lasting impression on the children who believe that a man has the right to deal with his family as he sees fit even to the extent of becoming physically abusive. The boy child who grows up with this mentality takes this attitude to his own home and continues the cycle. This does not in any way encourage the emergence of notable and honourable men in the society.

Experts believe that most of the time, individuals tend to model an aspect of their parents they observed while growing up. A child exposed to physical abuse at home almost always ends up abusing his peers physically. A background check on most bullies in schools reveals that the circumstances in the home front are responsible for the child lashing out on his mates.

Another instance is a case where the child witnesses regular fights and arguments between his parents. This is not a healthy environment for the child to grow up in because children are very emotional and are susceptible to whatever vibes the parents send.   

A child exposed to negative vibes in the home due to quarrels and arguments becomes mentally and psychologically imbalanced because it usually takes a loving and peaceful atmosphere to develop a child’s psyche.

Most children respond better and quicker in school if the home front is peaceful and loving, but where the home is chaotic, the child is usually moody in school and not quick to grasp what is being  taught. An instance is given of a boy in church who sat apart from other children crying. When asked what the matter was, he responded by saying that his parents had a fight that morning before coming to church and that made him very sad. The said parents were seen in church sitting together and smiling at friends pretending that nothing happened but the child who witnessed the fight was unable to get over it and could not play with his peers or respond to what was being taught.

Parents are however advised not to air their disputes in front of the children because it is not usually easy for them to get over such graphic display of emotions. In instances where one of the child’s biological parents is absent like where the father marries another wife or vice versa, the balance usually shifts as a stepparent will not provide the adequate emotional nurturing the child needs. A step-mother who has her own children will not love her step-child the way she would her own. She would be partial even when she tries to give the impression that she is not, and when the child seeks for approval and attention from a mother who does not give it, that child closes up and adopts a defense mechanism against emotional rejection. The girl child can seek attention elsewhere which could lead to her ending up in a dangerous relationship with a man. The boy child would seek to find that approval from friends and would end up doing daring things that would earn him the admiration of his friends. This could range from smoking, stealing or sexual exploits. The absent father does not notice the neglect of the child by the step-mother and does not intervene appropriately, leaving the child on his own to do what he pleases.

Sadly, the parents ignore these tell-tale signs and believe that they can compensate the lack of love and attention by showering gifts and money, but these can never substitute for the love and attention the child requires to grow up healthy and balanced. A child that has to deal with the abandonment of the father ends up having a warped relationship with people; where trust becomes an issue. For the girl child, she tends to believe that all men in her life would act like her father and leave eventually so she closes up to most relationships and if left unchecked, such person becomes a social recluse and misses out on making meaningful relationships, distrusting men and people generally. The boy believes that instead of trying to work out the issues in his relationship, he can walk out when he feels like it.

Parents are usually advised not to drag their children into their dispute because then the child is forced to take sides and this could lead to emotional blackmail where the child only gets what he wants if he supports one parent against the other. This should not be the case because a child needs to feel loved no matter what he does or says. The truth is that whatever problems a society is battling with can be traced to the upbringing and mentality of the individuals. Train a child in the right ways, instill good moral values and watch the transformation of that society and the nation at large.

Written by Anthony Brown

PAUL BIYA RESIGNS AS PRESIDENT OF CAMEROON

At 11:30 Am this morning delegates of the C.P.D.M met at the Unity palace for a meeting called upon by Paul Biya. He declared his resignation as president of Cameroon few hours ago as a motive of health and a change to bring democracy.

This is very surprising as many don’t understand why the president who has made 30 years in power decided to quit without any plan of a next leader. Now the question is. What will become of Cameroon now and who is going to be our next leader?

Cameroon on a state of confusion at the moment every one wonders how the new government will look like. Some are happy and some are putting on sad faces.

Paul Biya is presently in France to meet the French president Francoise Hollande to discuss about his sudden resignation as president.

The Artististic cake maker

Oluwamayowa Aramide,who studied at Nissi catering school in Lagos,Nigeria is a cake maker who designs different cakes of different sizes, is also the CEO of Viramix Confectionery and Event Services situated also in Lagos.

He specialities are Cakes for all Occasions, Small Chops, Cocktail drinks, Asun. Pasteries for all occasions. Ushering. Event planning and Decoration. Indoor/Outdoor Catering Services. Training. Etc.Here below are pictures of the cakes he has made:

Do you need cake makers to train you or you want any kind of cake for your events,Aramide is the person to meet.

Contact him on +2348165306573 or BBM; 2987862E.

Facebook name ; Mide Toh'Cute
 Facebook page; www.facebook.com/viramixconfectioneryandeventservices.

Nigerian senate proposes 2-year jail for offenders of abusive statements on social media

A bill seeking a two-year jail term for any person who makes allegation or publishes any statement or petition in the newspaper, radio or medium of whatever description against another person, institutions of government or any public office holder, passed second reading in the Senate, yesterday.

The bill also prescribed that anybody or group of persons who send any false text message or post false message on the social media against another person shall be jailed for two years upon conviction by the law court.
The bill, tagged: “A Bill for an Act to Prohibit Frivolous Petitions and other Matters Connected therewith”, sponsored by Senator Ibn Na’Allah, APC, Kebbi South, compels petitioners to accompany their petitions with sworn court affidavit, failure of which attracts a six- month imprisonment upon conviction.

But the bill provides for an option of N4 million for persons convicted of false newspaper, radio and television statements and N2 million for offenders of false phone text messages or messages on Facebook, twitter, Instagram, or  WhatsApp.

“Where any person in order to circumvent this law makes any allegation and or publish any statement, petition in any paper, radio, or any medium of whatever description, with malicious intent to discredit or set the public against any person or group of persons, institutions of government, he shall be guilty of an offence and upon conviction, shall be liable to an imprisonment term of two years or a fine of N4,000,000.00”,the bill specified.

Culled from Vanguard