Nigerian Court Affirms Okezie Ikpeazu As Abia State Governor

                                                     
A Federal High Court on Friday declared that the election of Governor Okezie Ikpeazu of Abia State is valid.
 Justice Ambrose Allagoa made the declaration in his judgement at the Federal High Court in Owerri, the Imo State capital in southeast Nigeria.
He was ruling on the matter filed by Mr Friday Nwosu against Governor Ikpeazu, Mr Uche Ogah, the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) and the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), on alleged forgery of tax documents by the Governor.
The judge also affirmed that Governor Ikpeazu’s tax documents were not forged.
The court ruled that the plaintiff, Mr Nwosu was unable to prove that the tax documents were forged.

Source: Channels Television

History:Kijabe, The only Kenyan town with no bars

                          
Kijabe is the only town in Kenya where you cannot purchase cigarettes or take alcohol.
Even with its population of 5,000 it has no bar and nobody is allowed to smoke. Kijabe remains the utmost centre of Christian faith - a citadel of purity!
Again, Kijabe might be the only town in Kenya whose economy has always centered around mission work and where any investor in the small town has to sign an agreement with the Mission that they would not sell alcohol or open entertainment joints.
It all has to do with the history of this town on the hill. The rise of Kijabe is credited to American missionary Charles Hulburt whose vision was to extend African Inland Mission (AIM) to “all directions” from Kijabe after he moved his headquarters there from Kangundo.
But initially, Hulburt was not interested in Kijabe and wanted to have his mission along the shores of Lake Naivasha. Here, Hulburt in 1903 had marked the land he wanted for his mission work but since it was a late afternoon the colonial administrator could not sign the lease. He was asked to come the next day. But unbeknown to him, Lord Delamere was also in Naivasha looking for land. That evening, after a couple of beers, the colonial administrator told Lord Delamere about the missionaries’ interests. Delamere thought that the land was so prime “cannot be wasted on missionaries.” The colonial administrator agreed and when Hulburt arrived next day, Lord Delamere had the lease of what is today Delamere’s Sosysambu Farm!
Hulburt was asked to take up a sport in Kijabe where at 7,200ft it was the malaria free, was cool and near the railway. But there were wild animals. Many of them!

The first task of Hulburt was to build a hospital. Hulburt was a friend of US President, Theodore Roosevelt, and he named the new hospital in Kijabe Theodora Hospital in Roosevelt’s honour. It was Hulburt who invited Theodore to Kenya in 1909 and he laid the foundation of the nearby Rift Valley Academy which was built for children of the missionaries. Theodore had left White House in March and on August 4, 1909 he laid that stone that is in the Kiambogo building of the Academy. Kiambogo is the original name of Kijabe and means the hill of Cape buffaloes that roamed the area. Until today, the beast remains the school’s mascot.
In his book African Game Trails, Roosevelt talked glowingly of Kijabe’s American Industrial Mission (as he called it). “Industrial teaching must go hand in hand with moral teaching…Kijabe will be an indispensable factor in the slow uplifting of the (locals).”
The growth of Kijabe, to become one of the largest mission stations in Africa, took a good turn when Indian shopkeepers followed the missionaries and set up dukas near the railway station. Kijabe was known. Letters to the missionaries were only written “Kijabe via Mombasa” and a local named Karanja Kago used to pick them from the railway station. Karanja’s wedding to Njeri wa Kiai was captured in the 1917 issue of Inland Africa since Njeri was one of the first students at Kijabe Girls.
One missionary, John Stauffacher was surprised that Kijabe was such a peaceful place. “There are none of the dangers I dreamt about…the people here are perfectly safe have none of those peculiar customs you hear about.” Another missionary who followed Hulburt was Elwood Davis and his wife Bernice Conger, a nurse who had graduated from Hahnemann College of Medicine in Philadelphia. The two missionaries had sailed to Africa under the banner of Africa Inland Mission and arrived in Kijabe in 1920 to work at the Theodora Hospital. Davis had a reputation as a skilled surgeon and made the hospital famous.
But in their early days, the missionaries found themselves at loggerheads with the Kikuyu Central Association supporters who opposed the rise of the mission stations and warning locals not to associate with it. After the initial warnings, the church attendance in 1920s is said to have dropped from 700 to 30 while the number of girls in Kijabe Girls School dropped from 300 to 80. The bone of contention then at Kijabe was whether female circumcision should be allowed. On the night of January 2, 1930, Miss Hulda Stumpf, the principal of Kijabe Girls’ was killed. As Bernice wrote in one of her memoirs, the KCA was telling them that soon “the mission will have to baptize baboons as their will be no more natives to baptize.”
But the couple continued drawing more adherents, planting lots of trees in the mission compound and keeping dairy cows.
Elwood is now known to have approached William Moffat, the sponsor of Moffat Bible Institute in Philadelphia, to start one in Kijabe. And that is how the modern-day Moffat Bible College in Kijabe opened doors on 11 February 1929. Soon, there was a printing press in 1950s solely for publishing Christian literature and later the Bibilia Husema Studios started by missionaries Bob and Lillian Davis, whose parents had worked there in the initial stages. Kijabe has continued to expand living to its purity. Still it has no bar after 110 years of its foundation.

Written by John Kamau

22 Reasons Why Hillary Clinton Should Be America's Next President

                                                        
At the end of 2016, we won’t just choose our next president. America will choose a direction for our country on issues from gun violence prevention to women’s rights to building an economy that helps the middle class get ahead—and stay ahead.
Hillary Clinton has proved she’s the candidate who can take on tough fights and get things done. But that’s not the only reason she should be our next president.
 NWPC gave  our early endorsement of Hillary Clinton and we proudly stand with her as she campaigns tirelessly, connecting with voters across the country to promote a progressive agenda we can all be proud of!
Hillary is a long-time advocate of rights for women and girls, equal pay legislation and economic opportunities, protecting reproductive rights and access to health services for women regardless of income-level — and so much more! With so many reasons to support Hillary, here’s a list of 21 Reasons to share with your friends and family:

1. As a former secretary of state, U.S. senator, first lady, and a lifelong advocate for women and families, no one is more qualified to be president than Hillary.
2. Hillary knows child care, equal pay, and paid leave are fundamental economic issues—not just “women’s issues.”
3. Our democracy should work for everyone—not just the wealthy and well-connected.
4. Our next president could make multiple appointments to the Supreme Court.
5. We need comprehensive background checks on gun purchases.
6. She’ll fight to overturn Citizens United to curb the outsized influence of big money in politics.
7. Because the wealthiest should pay their fair share in taxes.
8. We need comprehensive immigration reform that includes a path to full and equal citizenship.
9. She’s set a big goal: More than half a billion solar panels installed across the country by the end of
   her first term.
10. She’s set another big goal: To generate enough renewable energy to power every home in America within 10 years of her taking office.
11. The economy is stronger when a Democrat is in the White House.
12. Hillary will defend Planned Parenthood and women’s health care from Republican attacks.
13. Hillary’s New College Compact would mean students would never have to borrow to pay for tuition to attend a four-year public college in their state—and the millions of Americans who have student debt can refinance.
14. Because taxpayers shouldn’t pay for millionaires’ and billionaires’ kids to go to college.
    Guaranteed paid family leave.
15. She declared on the world stage that “gay rights are human rights.”
16. Experts say Hillary’s plan to keep Wall Street accountable is the toughest of all Democratic candidates.
17. As first lady, she helped get health care coverage for 8 million American children.
18. Our veterans should have access to timely and high quality health care.
19. She’s the only Democrat with hedge-fund billionaires running ads against her—because they know her agenda is to stop their agenda.
20. After decades of fighting for progressive issues (and 11 straight hours of testimony in front of a Republican-led congressional committee), she’s proved nobody can stand up to Republicans better than she can.
21. She’s been fighting for women and children her entire career—ever since she started working at the Children’s Defense Fund after law school.
22. Add your reason here! Share with the Hillary campaign by texting #IMWITHHER to 47246.

Written by Donna Lent
Donna Lentis a Politican analyst and a writer who shares her views on issues affecting America and Europe.

BREAKING NEWS:Leicester City signs Ahmed Musa

                                           
  Leicester City completed a deal for Nigeria forward Ahmed Musa from CSKA Moscow on Friday.
Musa, 23, sealed a four-year contract with the English Premier League champions after passing a medical on Friday.
A source said the deal was worth around £15 million, a Leicester club record.
The club has yet to announce the deal, though Musa has been pictured in a Leicester kit, as posted by the Nigeria Football Federation.

The Foxes completed club-record £16.6m fee with CSKA Moscow for Nigerian forward. The 23-year old who arrived the club on Wednesday, July 6, passed a medical and signed a four-deal with Premier League champions. It was reported that Southampton, Everton and West Ham were also interested in the forward. Musa is Leicester’s fourth signing of ahead of the coming season after goalkeeper Ron-Robert Zieler, defender Luis Hernandez and midfielder Nampalys Mendy. Reacting to the development, the Nigerian Football Federation (NFF) has taking to Twitter to congratulate the player. “Congratulations to Ahmed Musa on his move to English Champions Leicester City. Paint the EPL green with goals,” it tweeted.
Read more: https://www.naij.com/885040-confirmed-ahmed-musa-signs-for-leicester-city-photo.html

The Foxes completed club-record £16.6m fee with CSKA Moscow for Nigerian forward. The 23-year old who arrived the club on Wednesday, July 6, passed a medical and signed a four-deal with Premier League champions. It was reported that Southampton, Everton and West Ham were also interested in the forward. Musa is Leicester’s fourth signing of ahead of the coming season after goalkeeper Ron-Robert Zieler, defender Luis Hernandez and midfielder Nampalys Mendy. Reacting to the development, the Nigerian Football Federation (NFF) has taking to Twitter to congratulate the player. “Congratulations to Ahmed Musa on his move to English Champions Leicester City. Paint the EPL green with goals,” it tweeted. Congratulations to Ahmed Musa on his move to English Champions Leicester City. Paint the EPL green with goals. pic.twitter.com/y655tKCp2i — Nigeria Super Eagles (@NGSuperEagles)
Read more: https://www.naij.com/885040-confirmed-ahmed-musa-signs-for-leicester-city-photo.html

STRANGE RAINFALL IN TOGO

BREAKING:Slovakia denounces Muslim migrants

                             
Tough talking Robert Fico has begun his third term as political leader – and has already sparked outrage by continuing his pre-election rhetoric about how Islam is not welcome in his country.
Mr Fico has stepped up his anti-Muslim rhetoric, telling voters there is no room for multiculturalism.
In his first interview since his election this week with reporters,he said: “It may look strange but sorry… Islam has no place in Slovakia.
“I talked about it several times with the Maltese prime minister and he said the problem was not in migrants coming in, but rather in them changing the face of the country.”
Mr Fico fears that the arrival of thousands of Muslims “who will push through their case” would threaten the Cyrilo-Methodian traditions, on which Slovakia has been built.
The PM also said anyone who wants to be multi-cultural, “goes against the very essence” of the country and that it is “impossible” to integrate Muslims in Europe.
His comments could have big implications for the bloc’s policy as Slovakia will take over the presidency of the European Commission in three weeks.
It will be the first time Slovakia has held the position, which rotates through countries every six months, since joining the EU in 2004.
During this six-month period, the country will have a bigger role in setting the agenda for meetings at every level of EU council, and its ministers will chair key decision-making meetings in the second half of 2016.
And Brussels is worried, especially since the country’s refusal to participate in the EU’s refugee relocation scheme.

Improving communication skills

                          
It sounds so simple: say what you mean. But all too often, what we try to communicate gets lost in translation despite our best intentions. We say one thing, the other person hears something else, and misunderstandings, frustration, and conflicts ensue.
Fortunately, you can learn how to communicate more clearly and effectively. Whether you’re trying to improve communication with your spouse, kids, boss, or coworkers, you can improve the communication skills that enable you to effectively connect with others, build trust and respect, and feel heard and understood.

What is effective communication?
Communication is about more than just exchanging information. It's about understanding the emotion and intentions behind the information. Effective communication is also a two-way street. It’s not only how you convey a message so that it is received and understood by someone in exactly the way you intended, it’s also how you listen to gain the full meaning of what’s being said and to make the other person feel heard and understood.
More than just the words you use, effective communication combines a set of skills including nonverbal communication, engaged listening, managing stress in the moment, the ability to communicate assertively, and the capacity to recognize and understand your own emotions and those of the person you’re communicating with.
Effective communication is the glue that helps you deepen your connections to others and improve teamwork, decision making, and problem solving. It enables you to communicate even negative or difficult messages without creating conflict or destroying trust.
While effective communication is a learned skill, it is more effective when it’s spontaneous rather than formulaic. A speech that is read, for example, rarely has the same impact as a speech that’s delivered (or appears to be delivered) spontaneously. Of course, it takes time and effort to develop these skills and become an effective communicator. The more effort and practice you put in, the more instinctive and spontaneous your communication skills will become.

Barriers to effective interpersonal communication

• Stress and out-of-control emotion. When you’re stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. Take a moment to calm down before continuing a conversation.
• Lack of focus. You can’t communicate effectively when you’re multitasking. If you’re planning what you’re going to say next, daydreaming, checking text messages, or thinking about something else, you’re almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the conversation. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment experience.
• Inconsistent body language. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no.
• Negative body language. If you disagree with or dislike what’s being said, you may use negative body language to rebuff the other person’s message, such as crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact, or tapping your feet. You don’t have to agree, or even like what’s being said, but to communicate effectively without making the other person defensive, it’s important to avoid sending negative signals.

Improving communication skills #1: Become an engaged listener People often focus on what they should say, but effective communication is less about talking and more about listening. Listening well means not just understanding the words or the information being communicated, but also understanding the emotions the speaker is trying to communicate.
There’s a big difference between engaged listening and simply hearing. When you really listen—when you’re engaged with what’s being said—you’ll hear the subtle intonations in someone’s voice that tell you how that person is feeling and the emotions they’re trying to communicate. When you’re an engaged listener, not only will you better understand the other person, you’ll also make that person feel heard and understood, which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you.
By communicating in this way, you’ll also experience a process that lowers stress and supports physical and emotional well-being. If the person you’re talking to is calm, for example, listening in an engaged way will help to calm you, too. Similarly, if the person is agitated, you can help calm them by listening in an attentive way and making the person feel understood.     

How do you become an engaged listener?
If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening in an engaged way will often come naturally. If it doesn’t, try the following tips. The more you practice them, the more satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.

• Focus fully on the speaker, his or her body language, tone of voice, and other nonverbal cues. Tone of voice conveys emotion, so if you’re thinking about other things, checking text messages or doodling, you’re almost certain to miss the nonverbal cues and the emotional content behind the words being spoken. And if the person talking is similarly distracted, you’ll be able to quickly pick up on it. If you find it hard to concentrate on some speakers, try repeating their words over in your head—it’ll reinforce their message and help you stay focused.
• Favor your right ear. The left side of the brain contains the primary processing centers for both speech comprehension and emotions. Since the left side of the brain is connected to the right side of the body, favoring your right ear can help you better detect the emotional nuances of what someone is saying. Try keeping your posture straight, your chin down, and tilting your right ear towards the speaker—this will make it easier to pick up on the higher frequencies of human speech that contain the emotional content of what’s being said.
• Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns, by saying something like, “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” Listening is not the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s saying if you’re forming what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your facial expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.
• Show your interest in what’s being said. Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.”
• Try to set aside judgment. In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don’t have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand a person. The most difficult communication, when successfully executed, can lead to the most unlikely and profound connection with someone.
• Provide feedback. If there seems to be a disconnect, reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is," or "Sounds like you are saying," are great ways to reflect back. Don’t simply repeat what the speaker has said verbatim, though—you’ll sound insincere or unintelligent. Instead, express what the speaker’s words mean to you. Ask questions to clarify certain points: "What do you mean when you say..." or "Is this what you mean?" 

Written by Abelard Bruno

Sex and the City: The Real Story

                                 
The film, Sex and the City, features four stylish New York women frequenting bars and talking bluntly about their broad range of sexual experiences. Clad in stylish attire and extremely independent, these women seem to have it all.
But this lifestyle of hookups, hangovers, and heartbreak only leads to emptiness, says author Marian Jordan. In her book, Sex and the City Uncovered, she exposes the myths behind the seemingly glamorous lifestyle. The following article is adapted from her book.
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
After a hard night on the town, the women of Sex and the City hit their local breakfast spot to dish on the previous evening’s events and the men it involved. The night before, Carrie, as a local celebrity of sorts, was called upon to judge a firefighters’ calendar contest on Staten Island. One ferry ride and several Staten Island Iced Teas later, the girls found themselves in foreign territory. Samantha, of course, was enamored with the smokin’ hot body of one of the firemen, while Carrie met a handsome politician who had the hots for her. Charlotte indulged in one too many cocktails, and as a result she is nursing quite a headache the next morning.
Back on the island—Manhattan, that is—their get-together results in a lively discussion of the topic “Why do women love firemen?” Miranda leads the charge with her observations, and the others follow suit. Their conversation is the typical brunch banter until Charlotte chimes in with her reason, bringing the table to a stunned silence: “Women just really want to be rescued.” She sighs as she props up her aching head with her hands. You could hear a pin drop as the other women stare back at her in disbelief. Did she really just say that? At this point Carrie, in a voice-over, describes Charlotte’s comment as “the statement single women in their thirties are never supposed to think, much less say out loud.”

The Confession Knowing that Charlotte is the hopeful romantic of the bunch, it comes as no surprise to us that she utters the words that “single women in their thirties are never supposed to think, much less say out loud.” Of course, she is the one to confess, “Women just really want to be rescued.” But what’s the big deal? Did she say something wrong? Why are the others so shocked? Is Charlotte still drunk? Or maybe, just maybe, she has stumbled onto something. Do women really long to be rescued? Is there something deep down inside each of us that would love to have the white knight sweep in and carry us away? I think for most girls the answer is, “Yes!”
Recently I watched the hit show The Bachelor. This particular season the bachelor happened to be a real prince. Fighting for his affection and attention were twenty-five beautiful women. In the two-hour premiere, one common theme resonated from the women: they wanted the fairy tale. As the evening progressed and the alcohol flowed, the women revealed more and more of their hearts’ true desires. Each wanted to be chosen by the prince and for her childhood longings of being a princess to come true. As I watched the episode and listened to their comments, I thought, This is reality television. Hungering for love and desiring to be chosen, these women had picked up their lives and moved to a castle in Rome in hopes of being rescued by Prince Charming.
So why did the Sex and the City characters, and perhaps many of us, bristle at Charlotte’s comment? It seems the other characters are much too independent and savvy to admit this inner longing. They pride themselves on self-sufficiency and hope to evolve past any notions of having needs and longings, so they blast Charlotte’s old-fashioned idea with a dose of reality. Reality, according to Miranda, is that “the white knight only exists in the movies.” Her reply rings with bitterness toward men and a lack of trust in anyone but herself. The same is true of Carrie’s response, except she takes a different approach, saying, “Did you ever think we’re supposed to rescue ourselves?” There it is—the motto of the modern single woman: “I don’t need anyone, and I can do it all by myself.”
Charlotte does not buy their dismissals, and her response to their advice is revealing when she replies, “That’s depressing!” And we have to admit, it is, but why? Probably because as women, since the first time we played with Barbie, we’ve imagined Ken coming in his sports car to rescue her from the clutches of GI Joe. This is part of the fabric of being a girl. But surely, some would say, we’ve all grown up and put those childish dreams behind us. After all, hasn’t life taught us some pretty tough lessons? White knights don’t always come to the rescue, and sometimes, let’s face it, Ken actually likes GI Joe. For some of us, these life lessons have left us hard and a little jaded too. So, like Miranda, it’s easier to shove the desire to be rescued behind us and pretend it’s just a fantasy.
But what if it’s not? Let’s imagine just for a moment that it’s real—the fairy tale, the hero, and all the stuff that romantic movies thrive on. Let’s imagine for just a minute that it is a legitimate longing and examine why Charlotte’s confession resonates with us. Why do women long to be rescued? Why is this desire ingrained in the heart of every little girl? To answer this question, we must dig a little deeper and ask some fundamental questions.
The Rescue First, what is meant by the word rescue? The word rescue means “to set free, as from danger or imprisonment; to save.” (Kudos, Mr. Webster.) From the damsel in distress, who is tied to train tracks as a high-speed locomotive approaches, to the princess, who is locked away in the perilous castle, the role of the hero is to save his lady from whatever enemy she faces.
I’ll be honest: life’s been so intense at times that I’ve daydreamed that someone comes along and takes me away from it all. I’ve gazed out my office window hoping to see Prince Charming ride up on his white horse (or in an SUV—I’m not really picky about the mode of transportation). Just like Charlotte, I did my share of barhopping in the past, hoping to meet “the one.” But I’ve realized the desire to be rescued goes much deeper than just a longing for a man. I know plenty of women with great men who still have this desire. Women identify with the longing to be rescued—young and old, married and single, rich and poor. Ladies, this desire is bigger than any man can fill.
Because this is a common desire, is there also then a common problem? In other words, is there something that we all need to be rescued from? Is there something basic to all of us that causes us to feel like we need help or we need to be set free? What is it that makes us hope and dream that someone will come along who can make all right in our world? Our desire to be rescued implies we are held captive … imprisoned.
But what is this prison?
I believe the universal prison in which we are all held is best described in a country song from the ’80s by Waylon Jennings called “Lookin’ for Love in All the Wrong Places.”

The Prison
The song is a classic because everyone can identify with the problem. Here’s the point: this song describes, and human experience confirms, that humankind is in a prison—a perpetual and fruitless search for something or someone to make us feel loved, complete, and whole. Each one of us has an empty place in our hearts that aches to be filled.
You know the ache I’m talking about. You aren’t satisfied; you don’t feel complete; something is missing, and you keep hoping that the next relationship or the next job or even a new outfit will remedy the ache, but it doesn’t. Life can be going along great, and, yet, that empty gnawing is still there—the one that cries out, “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for!” And as a result, we desperately search and we hunt for a love that will fill our emptiness and make us feel complete. And on and on and on we go.
This is my story. I went looking for love in all kinds of places, only to find myself more empty and confused as a result. From parties to people, from shopping to men, job promotions and even more parties … hoping something would bring me a sense of security or love. Happy hour eventually is over, the guy inevitably fails to be perfect, and food may fill a stomach but not a soul. My disillusionment eventually led to despair. Life seemed without hope and joy seemed elusive. I was captive to the emptiness.
I see this same desperation and disappointment in the lives of the women portrayed on the show Sex and the City. While on the surface everything appears glamorous and exciting, if you take a step back and evaluate their soul-searching questions, you see women who are hoping for someone to rescue them from the pain and emptiness they feel.
For example, let’s consider Charlotte. Like most of us girls, she hopes to find the love her heart longs for in a man. She is by far the most hopeful romantic of the crew. Over the six seasons of Sex and the City, we watched as she searched from man to man hoping to find “the one” who would complete her. Did she find him? Well, yes and no. She did get married (two times, in fact), but once she found a husband, did he fill her emptiness? No. The last season ended with Charlotte hoping the ache in her heart would be filled with a child. So, her search continues.
Can you relate? How often do you tell yourself the following?
•    If I were married, then my life would be perfect.
•    Or, If I had a better job, then I would be satisfied.
•    Or, When I buy my own house, then I will be happy.
•    Or what about this one? When I lose ten pounds, then I will feel OK.
We believe the solution to the restlessness we feel is remedied by finding something or someone to fill the emptiness in our hearts. But as we all know, those things may work for a season, but after a while that old familiar ache returns and we move on to the next thing or the next person, thinking that this time we will find what we are looking for.
This is why I call “looking for love in all the wrong places” a prison. For some of us it can be a life sentence. The pursuit to fill the void can be endless and full of disappointment. But that leads us to the most important question of all: what caused this emptiness in the first place?
The answer is found in the Bible. In Scripture we are told the story of God and how our problem of “looking for love” first began. The Bible tells us that humanity is created by God and for God. Translation: He is the Designer and Creator of Life, so in order to find out how things got all jacked up in our world, we must go back to the “Designer’s manual.”
Let’s play Fantasy Island for just a minute and imagine Dolce & Gabana designs a one-of-a-kind outfit just for you. It goes without saying that they would know best how this outfit is supposed to be worn (the perfect accessories, fit, shoes, etc.). Why? Because they are the designers. Hello? That’s the same with God. As our Creator, we need to look to Him and His Word (a.k.a. The Bible) to understand how life was meant to be lived. So for us to understand why we deal with insecurity, self-doubt, restlessness, and a perpetually empty soul, we must turn to the original design to see what God created us for and what went wrong.

The Beginning
In the beginning, God placed the human race in a beautiful garden that He filled with everything they needed for a life of joy, peace, and purpose. Adam and Eve were provided for and given the responsibility to rule over and care for God’s creation. And right from the start, God declared our identity (the “who am I?” question) when He looked on the first man and woman and declared us to be “very good” (Gen. 1:31).
This is a powerful moment. When God speaks over Adam and Eve the word good, He establishes their identity. You know how when you fall in love, one of the best things about being with that special person is how they make you feel about yourself? Well, that is the situation we have here. Our God-given design is one that when we are in relationship with Him, we know who we are and we know we are loved. As the Designer, He alone has the authority to name and define—and His declaration of His design from the very beginning was “very good.”
Here’s the thing: originally humankind didn’t need to be rescued from “looking for love in all the wrong places.” Why not, you ask? Because all was right and good in our world—we didn’t struggle with the self-doubt, insecurity, restlessness, and emptiness that you and I experience today. You see, it was never God’s original design for people to suffer from the nagging inadequacies we feel.

The Design
Uncovered. Naked and not ashamed! This is the condition of man and woman while living in the midst of the unconditional love of God. Adam and Eve didn’t know the meaning of insecurity. They didn’t ask questions such as, “Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Will I be accepted? Am I lovable?” Eve never asked, “Does this fig leaf make me look fat?”
Identity is something that is bestowed. We cannot define ourselves. Today, we are always looking outside of ourselves for someone to tell us who we are, but for Adam and Eve, the question of their identity wasn’t up for debate. First of all, when God created them, He essentially said, “You are good and you don’t need to do anything to prove yourself or seek anyone else to tell you that you are worthy of love.” So, for Adam and Eve, the self-worth question was solved. If the God of the universe, who spoke the world into existence, said they were good—then that settled it.
Girlfriends, can you fathom walking into a room and never thinking, Do I look OK? Just imagine being fully known, explicitly seen, and fully loved—never fearing rejection, never meeting a new group of people and feeling like you don’t belong. Try to imagine having a confidence that isn’t based on fickle things such as money, a new pair of shoes, or attracting male attention.

The Scam
The pure freedom and unshakable confidence Adam and Eve experienced were wonderful while they lasted, but the harmony and beauty of Eden were shattered when Satan entered the scene.
Satan (starring as the Serpent) scammed Eve into disobeying God. This deception is the root cause of our perpetual search for love and completion today—the real reason we are looking for love in all the wrong places and we all long to be rescued.
Satan tricked Eve. But it is important to note just exactly how this ruse went down. First, he caused her to doubt God by asking, “Did God really say?” Then he outright called God a liar when he suggested, “Surely, you won’t die.” By leading Eve to doubt the truthfulness of God’s word, Satan undermined her trust in God.
Satan’s scam was basically an attack on the goodness of God. His theory went something like this: if God is good, then He would allow you to eat of any tree. God must be bad because He said you can’t eat of this certain tree.
Eve bought into the lie. She rebelled against her God—her source of life, security, and love.
Perhaps you’ve been in a similar situation. You hear a great marketing pitch about a new cosmetic product that promises to eliminate wrinkles, cellulite, bad breath, and make you taller all at the same time. Sold, you charge the wonder pill to your credit card (at only $49.99 a month for the rest of your life) only later to discover . . . you’ve been scammed! The whole thing is a lie. The wonder pill isn’t so wonderful. It doesn’t deliver on its promises, and with it comes a whole new world of side effects. This is exactly like Satan’s promise to Eve, except the side effects of his scam were far more devastating—they were life altering.
Today, many women, like Eve, are deceived— believing the lie that the love we hunger for is found in the alluring lifestyle portrayed on Sex and the City. Masked behind couture fashion, clever writing, and beautiful people is a life of searching and desperation. I know because I’ve been there myself. The lure is clever, but the promises don’t deliver. Here’s the big problem with deception: you don’t know it’s a lie until you face the consequences.
We were not created for life separated from God. When Adam and Eve chose to dethrone God and cut the cord of dependence—by deciding for themselves what is good and evil—humankind indeed got independence from God. And this independence is the source of every heartache, disappointment, and the emptiness we experience in the world today.
Today, we all experience the loss and separation that resulted from Adam and Eve’s fatal decision. Instead of knowing peace and security, we feel angst and incompleteness. Instead of knowing who we are and if we are loved, we are constantly searching and striving for someone to tell us who we are. Our desire to be rescued, therefore, finds its origin in the human need to be reconnected with our Creator—to be back in the place of security and rest that comes from being in His presence—simply, the place we were created to inhabit.
Charlotte is right. Women really do want to be rescued!

The Rest of the Story
I’m just a girl who believed the lie that the deep longings of my soul could be fulfilled in the lifestyle portrayed on Sex and the City. Rescued from the emptiness, I’m here to tell other women the rest of the story. God doesn’t abandon us. He knows our design. He knows apart from Him we are searching, restless, and incomplete. And because He loves us with this incomprehensible love, He comes to rescue us and set us free from our prison of “looking for love in all the wrong places.”

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Written by Demian Johnson
www.cbn.com

Become a Better Grandparent

                                  
As grandparents we all want to make the most of the precious family time we get to spend with our grandchildren. You can create deep, loving relationships with your grandchildren by sharing the things you love and by learning about what excites them. Whether you’re a full-time grandparent, a step-grandparent, or a long distance grandparent living thousands of miles away, you can find new ways to strengthen family ties and provide your grandchildren with joyful memories and valuable life lessons.

 What's so grand about being a grandparent?
In no particular order, grandparenting is an opportunity to play, to love someone new, to appreciate the magic of a developing mind, and to be needed by someone again. Grandparents can:

• Share the things they're passionate about with a new audience.
• See the world in a new way through younger eyes.
• Experience games, music, nature, reading, and other interests in conjunction with a curious young mind.
• Provide expanded support and encouragement to their grandchildren.
• Use their breadth of experience to avoid the pitfalls they may have encountered as parents the first time around.
• Watch children develop through all stages of growth.
• Learn about their grandkids' music and passions.
• Provide input that parents cannot.

Usually, grandparents have the benefit of interacting on a level that is once removed from the day-to-day responsibilities of parents. This can make it easier to develop a close bond with grandchildren. From near or far, grandparenting can provide continuity in a child's life. Grandparents are often the family historians, and can add a rich sense of family tradition to a child's life. Additionally, contact with grandparents can teach children positive attitudes towards aging and help them develop skills to enhance their own lifelong learning.
Of course, not everything about being a grandparent is great all of the time. Becoming a grandparent at a young age can make some people feel prematurely old and, just as parents do, grandparents sometimes have to deal with colicky babies and moody teenagers. For most though, the benefits of being a grandparent far outweigh the drawbacks.

The role of a grandparent in a child's life
 There are as many different roles for grandparents as there are different family configurations and needs. Some grandparenting requires a full-time commitment. For others, grandparenting is a weekend together, an afternoon play date, a summer vacation, a chat on the phone, or an email exchange every now and then.
A good first step to a long and successful relationship with your grandchild is to establish some ground rules with your son or daughter:

• Be clear about what role you want to have in your grandchild's life. How often you want to babysit, for example, or whether you’d like to be included in events such as school functions.
• Talk with parents about their rules. Consistency is important for kids, so know the behavior limits your grandchild has to follow at home and maintain the rules when he or she is with you.
• Enforce any agreed upon punishment for bad behavior, whether it’s a “time out” or loss of privileges, for example.
• Baby proof your home, to ensure safety for infants and toddlers. It may have been a number of years since you had young children in your home, so it’s important to check with your grandchild’s parents about ways to baby proof your home to ensure they’re comfortable leaving the child with you.

Common grandparenting pitfalls to avoid Whatever your specific circumstances, by expressing love, showing concern for your grandchild's safety and wellbeing, and being consistent in your behavior, you are already doing a good job of grandparenting.
To avoid potential conflict within your family, try to avoid these common grandparenting pitfalls:

• Trying to be the parent. As much as you might want to tell your children how to raise your grandkids, it’s not your role. Respect the parenting decisions your children make for your grandkids.
• Buying your grandkids’ affection. It’s tempting for grandparents to shower their grandkids with gifts, but check with the child's parents before you buy more toys. Maybe substitute some of your gift giving with activities instead. Do something with your grandchild that you both love and will build memories.
• Overindulging the first few grandchildren and then not being able to repeat it as additional grandchildren come along. This can cause resentment from your own children who have kids later in life. Remember that whatever you do for your first grandchild (college fund, beach vacations, trips to the zoo) will set a precedent that you’ll need to repeat for every other grandchild.
• Ignoring boundaries. A grandparent who won’t enforce limits and gives in to their grandchild’s every whim can infuriate parents. By allowing your grandkids to misbehave, overindulge in candy and junk food, or ignore bedtimes, for example, you’re only encouraging unhealthy behavior and making their parents’ job even harder.

Written by Antonia Devenport

5 Ways That Helping Others Is Self-Serving

                                  
What’s the best thing to do for ourselves when we’re having a lousy day? Results from a recent study suggest that we should consider doing something nice for someone else.
Participants in the study received text messages that prompted them to record that day's stressful events as well as the "prosocial behaviors" they did—things like asking if a person needs assistance or holding the door for someone. They also rated their positive and negative emotions as well as their overall mental health for the day.
Not surprisingly, higher levels of stress on a given day were linked to more negative emotions and worse mental health. The study also found that people who generally do more for others tend to have more positive emotions (and vice versa).
The crucial question the study addressed was this: When we’re having a particularly stressful day, what is the effect of increasing our helpfulness toward others? Similarly, what is the effect of being less helpful to others when our stress is high?
The results were striking. On more stressful days, decreasing one’s prosocial behaviors led to less positive emotion, more negative emotion, and worse mental health. However, increasing one's helpful behaviors on stressful days significantly reduced the negative effects of high stress.
What might have led to these findings? The authors of the study offered five possible explanations, based on previous research:

1. Distraction. When we’re focused on our own stress, it’s easy to become preoccupied with what's wrong in our lives. Reaching out to help someone else can redirect our attention to other things so we’re less fixated on our sources of stress.
2. Greater meaning and  self efficacy. When a woman I treated in my practice lost her job, she lost a huge source of connection to others and way to feel good about her abilities. She decided on her own that she would do regular volunteer work while she was looking for a job. Through volunteering she had a continual reminder of her strengths and what she values most in life—meaningful relationships and working with others toward a shared goal. Being helpful to others can remind us that life is bigger than our passing problems.
3. Activation of the oxytocin system. The authors speculate that prosocial behaviors lead to the release of oxytocin—a hormone involved in trust and bonding with others—which may dampen negative emotions.
4. Dopamine-based reward. The neurotransmitter dopamine is released in response to rewarding activities: eating,sex,winning a bet, scoring a goal, etc. There seems to be something inherently rewarding about doing nice things for others. Kindness may indeed be its own (dopamine-based) reward.
5. Lowering activity of the sympathetic nervous system. The fight-or-flight (or freeze) response to stress is well known, and is an expression of the sympathetic nervous system which readies our bodies and minds to deal with the source of our stress. The authors cite studies showing that compassion is associated with a reduced stress response, as is expressing affection. Therefore they hypothesize that helping others may directly affect our body’s physiological response to stress.

When we're having a tough day it’s easy to become self-focused and less attuned to the people around us. I’m certainly as liable as anyone else to turn inward when times are hard. We might even lash out at the people around us when we're feeling stressed. But if we can get outside of ourselves enough to see and respond to the needs of others, the biggest favor we’re doing may be to ourselves.

Written by Seth Gillihan
 Seth J. Gillihan, Ph.D, is a clinical assistant professor of psychology in the Psychiatry Department at the University of Pennsylvania. His publications include research articles and book chapters on the effectiveness of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) for anxiety and depression, how CBT works, and the use of brain imaging to study psychiatric disorders. Dr. Gillihan maintains a clinical practice in Haverford, PA.