The Husband and Father's Role

When a man enters into a covenant relationship with his bride, he commits to the responsibilities of loving, honoring and cherishing her. As a husband, the strength you need in order to carry out these responsibilities ultimately flows out of your relationship with God. It requires a moment-by-moment dependence on God's Spirit. It takes time and discipline to maintain, especially with the many obstacles that cross your path – in your case, raising a child with special needs.
The vows you shared included "for better or worse, in sickness and in health." There was never a thought about the possibility of having a special needs child, nor any discussion of how much stress and strain such a situation would put on your marriage. And in the midst of life's challenges is another: being the husband and father God calls us to be.
We can't let the obstacles of life get in the way of building a strong marriage. When we fail to sacrificially love our wife as Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25), we begin to compromise this most cherished relationship. As a husband, and as the father of a special needs adult child, it's a daily challenge to stay focused when the challenges of caregiving collide with the needs of my wife and other children.
Raising a child with special needs, while at the same time nurturing my relationship with my wife, requires that I make time to communicate with my wife every day. What I need to communicate most is my love. In our situation, I went off to work while my wife stayed home and cared for our children. When one or more of children have special needs, you can be certain that a wife's daily responsibilities have been full and challenging. Recognizing that fact was the first step toward realizing that no matter what kind of day I had, my wife "had a day," too!
When our children were small, it was great when she gave me a bit of time to regroup from my day. We had dinner together as a family, and then I would give her a break from the children. I'd take the kids for walks in nice weather or play in the backyard. As the kids grew, my time with them might include helping with homework, playing video games or just talking. Cindi appreciated this time alone without worrying about the needs of the children; time alone to think without the noise and commotion that she'd endured all day long; time for an evening out with friends to simply "get away." Taking care of the kids was a way for me to serve my wife, letting her know that I was committed to her and cherished her. As a result, we were able to demonstrate God's unconditional love and grace to each other and to the children, and become an example to those around us.
In addition to my role as a husband, one of my greatest titles is "Dad." Fathers are to sacrificially love our children. We demonstrate to our children that we care for them by making them a priority. Cultivating relationships with each child requires time, discipline and intentionality. When so much time is spent caring for the child(ren) with special needs, it's easy to lose track of our other children's needs. It is a challenge to spend both quality and quantity time with the other children. Each one needs to know with absolute certainty that we love them. Spending time with them goes a long way toward making them feel protected and loved.
I was intentional about "dating" my two girls. Our regular dates included restaurants, local events and festivals, the zoo, walks, jogs, movies, ice cream and other fun things. Our dates were also opportunities to talk, ask questions, and sometimes just to listen to them. These are some of my fondest memories of their childhoods, and we continue to enjoy our special times together (even with one daughter married and the other in college).
We invested time in teaching all of our children God's Word. We'd discuss current topics of interest to each and used these opportunities to guide them. These teaching moments may not have connected with Joey in the same way they did for the girls, but we included him as much as we could. Without question, Joey required a different kind of time and attention.
As a dad, I once dreamed of playing sports with a son – maybe even coaching – but because that wasn't to be, I found other ways to "connect" with Joey. He spent a lot of time doing repetitive therapies in his early years, but as he grew older, he and I began to connect playing video games. We have learned to play sports together … through video! He excels at baseball and my forte' is football, but we still connect and have fun together!
Yes, it takes time. But if we want to pass on our faith and impact future generations for Christ, we must spend quality and quantity time with each of our children. When we leave a godly legacy, we can look back with great satisfaction.
It's been my observation that many men are overwhelmed by the responsibility of being the husbands and fathers God has called them to be. Yet we have this assurance: that "nothing is impossible with God" (Luke 1:37). As we ask God to empower us as men, we can give our children not just an inheritance, but a heritage. And we can give our wife what she needs most – to be loved, honored and cherished.

Written by Joe Ferini

The College Of Marital Success

10 Major reason you must join this school:
1. It takes wisdom to build a great marriage.
2. To have a stress free marriage.
3. To become a better husband/ wife.
4. To lay a solid foundation for your old age.
5. To secure the destiny of your children.
6. To overcome the entire storms against marriage.
7. To build a solid and successful marriage.
8. To help others in building a healthy marriage.
9. To become a certified marriage counselor.
10. To fulfill divine agenda for marriage.

Join pastor Bisi and Yomi Adewale at the College of Marital Success.
Come, equip and fine tune your marriage skills at college of Marital Success. It is a marriage training school for singles, couples, pastors and members of church’s marriage committee.
New session starts on Saturday October 11th 2014. BY 8am
Duration: 6 Saturdays only
@ No. 4 Unity Road, Off Toyin Street, Ikeja, Lagos.
Fee: Affordable
For more information: call 08068312004, 08051512823

How To Say “No” Without Hurting Your Husband

It was discovered lately that one of the main reasons men become annoyed when their wives turn them down, is not about the rejection itself but about the mode of conveyance.
As a wife, you must know the right way to reject his advances if you must do so for a genuine reason.
Genuine reasons to say “No”
(1) Sickness – If you are sick, let him know even before bed time so that he can prepare his mind that there will be “no show” that night.  As soon as you are healed, resume your duty.
(2) New baby – If you have just been delivered of a baby, sex should be avoided to allow the body to heal. Once you are okay and birth fluid stops coming from your vagina, resume your duty. Never allow motherhood to hinder your marriage.
(3) Menstruation- If both of you are not comfortable with making love during menstruation, then this may be another genuine reason. Immediately your period starts, inform him, maybe jokingly by saying, “Oh boy! Your “visitor has come down here”. He will understand and switch off his mind about sex. Note that sex during menstruation is not bad if it is your agreement.
(4) Tiredness – If you are really tired, notify him. However, EXCUSES THAT YOU ARE TIRED EVERY NIGHT CAN MAKE HIM TIRED OF YOU.
(5) Prayer and fasting – The period of fasting should also be separated and you should avoid sex during this period. This is not because it is sinful to have sex while fasting, rather, it gives you time to focus on your prayers. Note that if you break your fast in the evening, you can still have sex, despite the fact that you have intentions to fast the next day.
(6) Last week of pregnancy – In the last week of pregnancy, most doctors advise couples to stay off sex, so as not to ignite pre-mature contraction. This could be another reason to say no, but note that sex can come from day one of the pregnancy to few weeks to your expected date of delivery (EDD).

Written by Bisi Alimi
Bisi Adewale is a family expert and president of college of marital success, He is an international conference speaker and an author of more than 40 books on marriage and family life, singles, love, sex and purity and intimacy. He is the host of family T.V. program called Family Booster Momments.
Get daily lesson and teaching and articles from his blog: bisiadewale.com and You can also get his resources and also send a mail to familybooster01@yahoo.com.

The 7 Sleep Habits of Successful Entrepreneurs

We all know lack of sleep is harmful to our health -- sleep affects mood, increases risk of psychiatric disorders and depression, cardiovascular disease and lowers immune system health. Yet the stress of running a company and long working hours means entrepreneurs often find themselves functioning on little sleep.Getting seven to eight hours of sleep a night is a critical component of entrepreneurs' business success. Sleep affects our executive function; the area of the brain responsible for decision making, creative thinking, memory and reaction time.
 Follow these seven sleep habits and dream your way to business success:

 Avoid alcohol before bedtime. 
While alcohol may help you fall asleep, it will affect the quality of your slumber. "Sleep is lighter, you have less REM (the deepest stage of sleep). Alcohol can also wake you up in the middle of the night. Many people wake up after about four hours, because that’s how long it takes to metabolize alcohol, then they have trouble getting back to sleep. Although studies have shown a glass of wine at dinner can have positive effects on cardiovascular health,to avoid drinking any alcohol within three hours before bedtime.

 Turn off electronics before bedtime.
  Shutting off gadgets an hour before bedtime is far better for your health.The light that's emitted [from the screens] slips your neurotransmitters into an awake position. Our gadgets also force our brains to stay active when they really need relaxation time to distress before bedtime.It is better to use the hour before bed to do something relaxing and enjoyable like reading a book or having a chat with your partner.

 Write your worries away. 
If you find yourself lying in bed stressing about the events of the day,i recommend you to keep a worry journal to write down the issues that are bothering you. For those who find their heads swimming with to-do-lists, putting the list on paper rather than thinking about it can help to clear your head and shut off your mind before bedtime.

 Create the perfect sleep ambience.
The optimal sleep environment is one that's cool, dark and quiet. Part of becoming drowsy in the evening is that your core body temperature starts to drop. Eliminate noise and light distractions by charging smartphones outside the bedroom door to avoid the glow, the ding and the temptation to get up and check on something.

 Exercise. 
Exercise promotes healthy sleep patterns by releasing serotonin and dopamine. These are the same neurotransmitters that are important for regulating our 24-hour sleep-wake cycle, known as the circadian rhythm.

 Avoid sugary snacks before bedtime.
If you have love for a snack,i am recommending you to grabbing a bite containing protein and fat such as yogurt rather than one containing starch or sugar. "[Protein and fat] have very low glycemic levels which means they will give a steady release of energy throughout the night,". Simple carbs or sugary snacks give you a quick burst of energy, followed by a crash which can disturb the quality of your sleep.

 Wake up to the light. 
The morning is just as important to your sleep habits as the evening. Getting sunlight when you wake up re-sets your body's circadian rhythm, helping to ensure you're more tired at night. Enjoy your morning coffee sitting next to a large window is a great way to start your day right.