5 Things You Should Never Say To Your child when Angry

If you’re angry with your child, don’t say a word without first considering the impact it’s going to have on your child. Children sure know how to get on your nerve, but you must control your emotions and get your point across in a rational manner without doing any damage to the emotional development of your children.

Angry on not, stressed out by Nigerian traffic or problems, here are five things a mother or father must not be caught saying to his or her children, no matter how upset she is:

1. You are a mistake!

One of the most deadly sin of parenting is telling your child that his/her birth stole your life away, whether you are a single mother or married mother who had an unwanted pregnancy; don’t transfer your bitterness and resentment to your child. Getting pregnant and having the child is totally your decision so take responsibility for it. No matter what a child has done, don’t ever say he/she is a waste of space or that you should have had an abortion when you had the chance. It is a hurtful thing that no child should hear. It makes them feels like an intruder that disrupted your life and not worthy of love.

2. Why Can’t You Be More Like Your Sister

If you think your child isn’t doing so well, help the child out in a constructive way. Comparing them to others can destroy their self esteem, make them fatally competitive and even damage their relationship with the child you are comparing them to. They could also think that they can only get your approval when they are like someone else and that you don’t love them for who they are. Help your children see the beauty in their own uniqueness by focusing on each individual without using comparisons, when you compare them to others you are indirectly telling them they are not good enough and if they internalize that as a core belief it can lead to undesirable behaviors in the future.

3. Your Father is Good For Nothing

As much as you would want to, you need to bite your tongue on this one. Do not speak negatively about your husband or your children’s father to them. If you are having problems with your spouse talk to an adult don’t put that burden on your children, they are kids and they can’t fully understand complex adult issues. Don’t let them have to worry for you, it will hurt the children and paint negative pictures about relationships to them at any early age. Knowing that their parents are not at peace can also make them fearful and insecured.

As they grow older, they will become much more aware of what is going on, and if your partner really hurt you, they will find out one day anyway. Spare them the headache when they are still young.

4. You should be ashamed of yourself / I am ashamed of you
You can tell your children you are disappointed in their behavior and make them sober for what they have done without shaming them into feeling guilty. There are times when shaming works and produces the behavior we want from a child, but most times it comes along with the feeling of inferiority that can last a life time. The children will carry on the message of “I am wrong,” “I’m not enough,” and “I can never do anything right.”

One act of indiscipline from your children is not enough for you to be ashamed of them or to make them feel ashamed of themselves. We all make mistakes and the important thing is accepting correction, they should never be defined by the mistakes they have made. You don’t even want your children to think you will love them less when they make mistakes.

5. You Are Dumb, You Are So Stupid …

You hurt your child’s feelings every time you use negative words to describe them. Even if the child acts silly often, don’t tag the child as silly. Being called names continuously can leave the child truly believing that he or she is worthless and defective, and they may carry that feeling into adulthood. If you call your child clumsy and stupid every day, what are the chances that the child will stop acting stupid? The child will simply believe he or she can’t be smart like other kids and stop trying to succeed. So if you call your children dumb they are really going to think they are dumb.

Written by Bisi Adewale

Sweetened Drinks may bring Men Heart Failure

People who regularly consume sodas or sweetened fruit drinks may have a higher risk for heart failure, researchers report.
 In the study, men who drank two or more servings of sweetened beverages a day had a 23 percent higher risk of suffering heart failure, said an African leading author People who regularly consume sweetened beverages should consider reducing their consumption to lower their risk of heart failure as well as Obesity and type 2 diabeties.
Sweetened drinks have been linked to stroke,diabetes and obesity.Soft drinks have been associated with an increased risk in high blood pressure and serious heart diseases so it makes sense that sweetened beverages might also increase the risk of heart failure, the researchers said.
T he men, aged 45 to 79, were asked to record their average consumption of 96 food and drink items over the preceding year. One serving of a sweetened drink was defined as 200 milliliters, or nearly 7 ounces. The questionnaire made no distinction between drinks sweetened with sugar or artificial sweetner.Fruit juice,coffee and tea was not mentioned.

The danger of procrastination

                      

Procrastination is “the act of willfully delaying the doing of something that should be done,” and in some people it is a habitual way of handling any task. While the word itself is not found in the Bible, we can find some principles to help guide us.

Sometimes, procrastination is the result of laziness, and the Bible has plenty to say about that. The Bible commends hard work and industry (Proverbs 12:24:13:4) and warns against sloth and slackness (Pro 15;19;18;9). One cure for procrastination is more diligence, regardless of the task. The Christian should be supremely motivated to be diligent in his work, since he is ultimately serving the Lord. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men”(Colo 3;23). If we put our hearts into our work, as this verse says to do, we will probably find it difficult to procrastinate too much.

The Bible says that when it comes to some things, we should never delay. Jesus taught that reconciling with an offended brother should be done immediately upon our remembrance of the situation(Matt 5;23-24). He also said to “settle matters quickly” with our adversaries (verse 25). However distasteful it may be to pursue peace with an enemy, we must avoid stalling. Similarly, we are instructed, “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry”(Eph 4;26). Dealing appropriately with our anger is a matter of great importance, and we must not put it off until tomorrow, which will give the devil “a foothold” (verse 27).

Christians must not procrastinate when it comes to sharing the gospel with the lost. There is no time to waste. Jesus likened evangelistic efforts to a man inviting people to a great banquet. As he sent out his servants with the invitations, he said, “Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame” (Luke 14;21). The most striking qualities of the invitation are its openness (anyone and everyone was invited) and its urgency (the call to the feast must go out “quickly”).

Some people, upon hearing the gospel and knowing their spiritual need, delay in making a response. This is the most dangerous type of procrastination. Life is short, and we do not know what will happen tomorrow ( James 4;13-14). The Bible urges us to get right with God today. “See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. As has just been said: ‘Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion’” ( Heb 3;12-13,15). To procrastinate and put off getting right with God is to harden one’s own heart.

Jesus could return at any time; we do not know when (Luke 12;40). Our Lord illustrated the importance of being prepared for His coming in Matthew 25;1-13. In this parable, ten virgins await the arrival of the bridegroom and the commencement of the wedding feast. Five of the virgins were prepared for his arrival; five did not attempt to prepare until it was too late, and they were left behind. Jesus calls the unprepared virgins “foolish”; one reason they were unprepared may have been that they procrastinated.

So in the matter of our spiritual life, we dare not procrastinate. It is also unwise to delay healing a broken relationship or dealing with anger. And since our service to God motivates all we do, we have no reason to procrastinate. In short, procrastination is a bad habit that can have eternal effects.

Written by Stephen Eyre

Seven Reasons Why Black Americans Hate Africans!

Written by Pst Sunday Adelaja

Not all Africans Americans hate Africans. But sadly, there are MANY who do harbour extremely negative feelings towards us – whether due to a misplaced sense of superiority, a hypersensitive cultural chip, or just pure ignorance.

The following “reasons” that many African Americans hate Africans have roots in the intense social programming that the USA executes so well over its citizens.

1. They Think Africans sold Them

The very premise of this way of thinking is ridiculous. Before African Americans became African Americans, they were just AFRICAN. So technically, we sold ourselves!

But the thing many of them don’t know is – history, and not taught from a white western lens. Colonisation in Africa first came about in the 1600’s before the full-fledged “scramble for Africa” in the 1800’s. The Europeans had already come to the continent and had started their exploitative activity at a lesser severity.

2. They Think Africans Didn’t Try to Help Them

In the (unsound) minds of people with this view, from the 1800’s to the 20th century, we Africans were having a good old time while our continent was pillaged and our people oppressed. Only Afro people in the USA seemed to have it hard.

We should have somehow tried to rescue the African slaves in the USA from slavery. I guess, we could have taken off our own chains to make the trip over. And while we were at it – we could have also gone over to South America and all the islands to save them too!

3. They Think Africans Played No Part in Afro Progress

This one just shows the American in them to be so self-absorbed as to believe that they are THE reason why black people worldwide are in a better position today.

Their arrogance outweighs their ignorance as there were, and still are, MANY Africans, Afro Caribbeans and Afro Latinos who have contributed to the collective pursuit of justice and equality for Afro people in the world.

4. They Think Africans Are Primitive Nude Apes Dying of Aids and Ebola

It is so sad. The USA has done an excellent job of brainwashing majority of African Americans to generally reject, deny and abhor their African heritage by filling their minds with negative images of who we are as Africans. They spew the same racist diatribe of many of their white counterparts, and make the extra effort to separate themselves from us as much as possible.

5. They Think Africans Are Arrogant

It’s crazy. When Africans are just ourselves as we naturally exhibit diverse aspects of our cultures, to some, we are arrogant. I recognise that the African slaves in the US were made to abandon most of their culture which is painful to live out today, but this does not mean that we should then hide ours.

I actually feel that the only original culture from the USA comes from African Americas. Their entire urban cultural movements and music has influenced the entire world’s collective pop culture. That is impressive and they should be proud!

6. They Think Africans Are Self-Hating and Not “African” 

Sigh. We are ALL victims of colourism and as Afro people with a shared colonial history that subjected us to the same hateful programming by the Eurocentric oppressors. We are all still trying to heal from generations of trauma. It is so counter-productive to be so self-righteous and judgemental.

Instead of condemning certain Africans who may need to wake up, or (incorrectly) presuming to be able to tell us who we are as diverse people from a huge continent, better to extend a hand in solidarity as we all try and promote Afro-Love between each other, and to the rest of the world.

7. They Think Africans Prefer White People

Another questionable way of (not) thinking with a twisted premise. Like all black people own each other and must “stick together” in militant fashion. The whole“us versus them” attitude is extremely foul. It does not encourage progress but only hurts all of humanity.

In addition, Africa is a continent of 54+ countries. To completely strip its people of their individuality is already offensive in of itself. There might be some Africans who hate white people, others who do not. But nobody should be hating anyone to begin with, and I personally feel that it is just so silly to even factor other people into the equation at all when it comes to us as Afro people moving forward.

There may be some Africans who are painfully ignorant with a colonial mentality, but majority have REAL life to contend with, and without the blue passport privilege, so prefer to invest their time in improving their lives instead of “hating the white man” as their priorities are in check.

HOW TO GET RESULTS IN LIFE

 

 

                                        Pst Sam Oluwatoye

It is frustrating to come into this world and live your life the way you want and at the end of the day, get nothing out of it.

Some come into this world and died the way they came, and they never made  any impact in life.

See, that is not God’s divine plan for your life. God’s plan for your life, is for you to come and make a mark on earth.

For you to make impacts and get results in this life, your name must be heard. Some people don’t want their names to be seen on newspapers, magazines, and on T V stations, but the truth is that you have no choice. If you are going to be great, people will hear about you. You feel  that  you don’t want your pictures to go around but am sorry to disappoint you because if you must get results, and make impacts in this world, your pictures will be seen whether you like it or not.

Listen, great men always think of what to give and not what to get. For you to get results in life, you must think of what to give and not what to get.

People who don’t get results in life are those who are always collecting and never give, and those that get results, always think of what to give to other, and how to bless others, that is why the bible says that the lesser is blessed by the greater.

When Abraham saw Mechizedec, the bible says that he gave Melchizedec a tithe of all. Abraham was thinking on how to give, and Mechizedec was also thinking of giving to Abraham. Both of them were thinking in terms of what to give.

Somebody wanted to give Abraham something, but Abraham rejected it. He was a great man because his life style was giving and not receiving.

Beloved, it is important to recognize the power of gifts. All my life, I have made it compulsory for myself to give to people. My tithes and my seed offerings.

Great people think in terms of giving. When you visit a friend, or an important person, you must  take something  along with you. He or she doesn’t need what you are bringing; it is your blessings that will come as a result of giving.

Let this be your attitude, discipline yourself to give, even to your pastors. Let grace flow from them to you.

Look at Abraham, he was seeking for a child, God gave him a promise, he didn’t see anything. He was believing God and years after the promise, one day, the bible says three strangers passed by his house, and Abraham entertained them in his house. He didn’t know them, but he could perceive that they were sons of God. The truth is that Abraham had developed the culture of blessing Men of God, so he called the men and served them food. After they ate finish, the men said, “By this time next year, you will have a son”

Imagine if Abraham could not recognize them, he would  have waited for another season again when he doesn’t know when  they will pass, and we pray he recognizes them.

Learn the power of gifts, and you see, you must be prepared for criticism and hate from people. If you must get results in life, and make great impacts, you must learn to give

 

Arms deal probe: I acted in Nigeria’s interest – Okonjo-Iweala

The immediate past Minister of Finance , Mrs. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala,reiterated her innocence in the ongoing probe on the multi-billion dollar arms deal, stating that in all her dealings, she strived to protect the interest of the country.

Okonjo-Iweala, in a statement by her spokesperson, Mr. Paul Nwabuikwu, also alleged that unscrupulous and compromised individuals have distorted the contents of her memo to former president Goodluck Jonathan, seeking the transfer of $300 million and £5.5 million to the Office of the National Security Adviser, to portray her in bad light.

The statement reads: “ For the past week, Edo State Governor, Adams Oshiomhole and other compromised persons and media have embarked on a campaign of falsehood against Dr Okonjo-Iweala. They have distorted the contents of the January 20 memo in which she responded to a request by the former National Security Adviser and quoted selectively from the document to make their false allegations of ‘illegal diversion’ of funds.

“For your information and a fuller understanding of the issues, please see the attached January  20 memo by Dr Okonjo-Iweala as published by some online sites. It confirms that Dr Okonjo-Iweala is a transparent person of integrity and patriotic professional who worked hard to protect the interest of the country and that her accusers are purveyors of falsehood on a political mission to tarnish an innocent patriot.”

Culled from www.vanguardngr.com/

Russia Warns Donald Trump Of Assassination Plot

A Foreign Intelligence Service report circulating in the Kremlin today is warning that the life of current front-running US Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump may be in “grave danger” after the discovery of his personal travel itinerary with a known Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) was discovered on a laptop device seized from the Islamic terrorists responsible for the killing of 43 French nationals.
According to the report, on 26 October ,terror attack on french bus that killed 43 linked to Islamic State, found in the possession of the 5 Saudi Arabian nationals detained by Lebanon intelligence services this past Monday after their private jet was forced to land by Federation Aerospace Forces was a “heavily encrypted” laptop computer device.

Upon Lebanon’s General Directorate of General Security (GDGS) seizing of this laptop device, this report continues, they requested assistance from the SVR in “defeating” its encryption, which was immediately granted.

Once this laptop was in the possession of the SVR, this report notes, it was flown to Moscow where computer security analysts were able to unlock its “secret information”, of which the most “startling/confusing” was a document listing the entire travel itinerary and private security plans of Donald Trump for the month of October.

Contained within this Donald Trump itinerary document too, this report further notes, was a computing number the SVR had previously ascertained was used by the CIA in their communications with Islamic terrorist forces they are supporting and arming in Iraq and Syria operating in the Levant War Zone.

As to why these Islamic terrorists had in their possession a CIA-provided itinerary of Donald Trump this report doesn’t state due to there being no other documents on the seized laptop associated with it.

Culled from the internet