30 Things Husbands Should Stop Doing

                                     
Sometimes we need encouragement in our quest to step up and be the men God has called us to be. These are some down-to-earth, practical advice for men who want to step up to their responsibilities.
 Sometimes we need information, and sometimes we need training.  Sometimes we need a mentor—someone who will show us how to be godly men, how to love our wives as Christ loves the church.
And sometimes we need to know what we should stop doing.  Sometimes we may even need someone to say, “Hey, stop acting like a jerk!”
One of the most popular articles on our website is “15 Things Wives Should Stop Doing.”  When we first posted it, several readers asked for a similar list for husbands, so we gathered suggestions from a number of men.  Here's a list of their best ideas.  Of course, not all of these items apply to all men.  But perhaps something here will hit home for you. 
Two things to remember:  First, these items were sent to me by other men, not by wives.  Second, some readers have expressed concern that this list for husbands has 20 items while the corresponding article for women has 15.  I'm not sending a message here—I'm not saying husbands need more help than wives.  It's just ... a different list!

1. Stop acting like the battle is won in pursuing and getting to know your wife. Have fun together, just like you used to do before you walked down the aisle.
2. If your wife is a stay-at-home mom, stop treating her like her work during the day is somehow less strenuous or less important than yours.
3. Stop coming home from work and plopping in front of the television for the night, leaving your wife to bear the responsibility for everything else going on in the home.
4. Stop working so much. Find a healthy balance between work and family.  Your wife would rather have you than a big house, nice car, etc.
5. Stop acting like you’re listening when you’re really watching TV.
6. Stop allowing the spiritual leadership of the family to default to your wife.
7. Stop being passive when it comes to disciplining and training your kids.
8. Stop saying you know and understand what your wife is saying or feeling when you haven’t even listened to what she has to say.
9. Stop being a closed book.  Open up to your wife.  Don’t be afraid to show emotion.
10. Stop allowing your role as leader in the home to be an excuse for selfish behavior.  Don’t forget that a true leader also serves. 
11. Stop dishonoring your wife by criticizing her in front of your children or in public.
12. When you wife irritates you, don’t answer right away. Instead count to 10 and remember that she is a gift from God.
13. Stop using your size and strength and anger to intimidate your wife and children.
14. Stop using the word “divorce” in your vocabulary.
15. Don’t shy away from difficult conversations with your wife.
16. Stop saying you’ll do something and then procrastinating.
17. Don’t purchase any major item without first discussing it with your wife.
18. Don't allow your eyes to linger on beautiful women who pass by. You can't help the first look; it's that second, longer look that you need to avoid.  (And if your wife is with you, don’t lie to her and say you didn’t see that woman.  Just admit you looked.)
19. Stop thinking, I know more than my wife. You and your wife will each have more knowledge than the other in certain areas.
20. Don’t assume you know what your wife is thinking. Ask her how she is feeling and why.
21. When your wife tells you about a problem she’s having, don’t immediately try to solve it. She may just need you to listen to her.
22. Stop the sarcasm.  You may be trying to sound funny, but you’re only cutting down your wife.
23. Stop treating your wife like a child. Remember that God has given her a wealth of experience and information that you need.
24. Stop acting like God and trying to control your wife. 
25. Stop pointing out her mistakes and asking for explanations. Doing these things can make her feel like a failure.
26. Never casually or disrespectfully talk to other guys about sex with your wife.
27. Stop telling your wife that she is supposed to “submit” to you.  If she is not following you, that means you’re not leading her as Christ loves the church.
28. Stop feeding your sexual desires from any source other than your wife.
29. Don’t be alone with any woman who is not your wife or related to you.
30. Stop discussing deep-level issues with a woman who is not your wife or related to you.

Written by Dave Boehi
 http://www.familylife.com

Shut Up and Let Her Talk

Your wife's need to be heard is her way of letting you be the caretaker and confidant her mother and friends used to be.
I don’t think you will ever really get this. I’ve been trying for well over 20 years, and I don’t have it down. 
But you need to start somewhere, so here it is: You need to communicate with your wife by learning to shut up. 
The things that you’ve talked about in the past will not be sufficient for your future together. The landscape has changed and new topics are coming. I want to emphasize that from now on, expect “talking” to be unfairly weighted to her subjects.
This new form of communication will be enriching to her as she gets to talk in journalistic detail about everything your new life together entails.
You will be longing to tell her about your latest fantasy football pick. She will want to speculate on the new neighbors, relate an obscure childhood story of little relevance, or plan your fiftieth anniversary.
You will be yearning to tell her about the riding mower you sat on at Home Depot last Saturday. She will need to share a brand-new fear she has that no one in the history of rational thought has ever had.
You will be dying to jump in and attempt to fix whatever issue she wants to talk through.   Simply shut up. She will be bonding while she is talking. The smart husband will—and I know you will not get this any easier than I have—get her to talk more. 
Ask essay questions. I know the news is about to start, Monday night football looms on the horizon, your boss was in rare form, and the checkbook needs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation—but start to ask questions.
Don’t try to fix anything, because it’s not broken. At worst it’s healing. You don’t fix a bruise or cut; you nurse it. Your wife’s need to be heard is her way of letting you be the caretaker and confidant her mother and friends used to be. You are the go-to guy now, the first stop on the list. She may still need to talk to her mother or friends. Just don’t force her to go to them because you didn’t give her the time she needed.
James, the Lord’s brother, has some great advice for us: “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires” (James 1:19, 20). Wise King Solomon knew something about this as well. He said, “Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish” (Proverbs 18:13, NLT).
For most of us guys, listening is not one of our strengths. We tend not to value it as much as we should. Often we are busy formulating our response to something that has just happened or been said.
I love the Bible story from Judges 13:19-23. It deals with Manoah and his wife, who were the parents of Samson, the strongman. Upon seeing an angel that had appeared to his wife to foretell the future of Samson, Manoah sacrificed a young goat and brought a grain offering. Then this happened:
As the flame blazed up from the altar toward heaven, the angel of the Lord ascended in the flame. Seeing this, Manoah and his wife fell with their faces to the ground. When the angel of the Lord did not show himself again to Manoah and his wife, Manoah realized that it was the angel of the Lord.
“We are doomed to die!” he said to his wife. “We have seen God!”
But his wife answered, “If the Lord has meant to kill us, he would not have accepted a burnt offering and grain offering from our hands, nor shown us all these things or now told us this.”
Manoah started off honoring God, but his faith faltered, and he needed his wife to sort out his thinking. Rather than process what had just happened, he felt compelled to verbally respond—and he missed what should have been obvious.
See what you learn when you listen?
Don’t get discouraged by thinking that active listening is an Olympic tryout. Your wife is your covenant partner, not an inconvenience. You are doing more than just talking; you’re forging your collective identity, you’re learning to communicate love, and you’re learning what it means to be in partnership. And it might really improve your character development to listen to a creature so different and yet designed to be your suitable helper.

Written By Jess MacCallum

5 Ways to Keep Your Marriage Covenant

                              
It’s time to realize our marriage vows are a covenant—a solemn oath made by a husband and wife to each other and to God. Here are some ideas for making a covenantal commitment a reality in your marriage.

I’ve devoted much of my adult life to researching, writing, and speaking on how to build strong marriages and families. But as I prepared to give my daughter away, the subject was really close to my heart. Was there something I could say or do that would help Ashley and Michael begin a marriage that would go the distance?
I began thinking of the biblical concept of covenants. Our God is a covenant maker and keeper. God chose the covenant as His way of relating to people. The covenant is the most sacred of all pledges and promises.
The first marriage covenant was achieved when God united Adam and Eve in the first wedding. Later Jesus expressed the importance of the marriage covenant when He said, “Have you not read, that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh?’” Then Jesus added, “Consequently they are no more two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matthew 19:4–6).
The covenant Jesus described was a solemn oath made by the husband and wife to each other and also to God. In contemporary marriage ceremonies, words and symbols hint at covenant through the stating of vows and the exchanging of rings. The problem, however, is that many modern couples consider their vows more of a contract than a covenant.
A contract has an end date. A covenant is permanent.
A contract usually specifies a part of a person’s property or services. A covenant involves a person’s total being, which in marriage means a commitment that extends beyond performance, health issues, and financial prosperity to a promise of lifelong fidelity.
Many of you made such a covenant when you married. You pledged to love each other “in sickness and in health” … “in poverty and in wealth” … “till death do us part … so help me God.” You spoke the right words before your friends and family and before God, but you may not have really understood the importance of what you were saying.
 Most of us were married in a ceremony that did not emphasize the marriage covenant. But it is still possible to make a covenantal commitment a reality in your marriage.
First, pray together every day as a couple. When Barbara and I were first married, I asked a man I highly respected for his best counsel on marriage. He told me that Barbara and I should pray together every day. My friend Carl said, “I’ve prayed every day with my Sara Jo for more than 25 years. Nothing has built our marriage more than our prayer time together.”
We took his advice. Barbara and I usually pray together before going to sleep, but there have been some nights over the years when neither one of us felt like praying. The Lord has gently reminded me, You need to pray with her. And even though on occasion I’ve not even wanted to talk to her, I have finally rolled over and said, “Let’s pray.” Our obedience to this spiritual discipline has reminded us of who really is the Source of strength in our marriage and has kept us connected and communicating.
Second, never use the word, “divorce.” No matter how hopeless the situation seems or how lousy you feel, I urge you not to say the “D-word”—divorce—in your home.
In Proverbs 18:21 we read, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Words have power. If you first think about divorce and then talk about it, before long what was once unthinkable becomes an option.
If you or your spouse in times of anger has threatened divorce, there is a wonderful restorative cure called grace. Forgive each other for talking about ending your marriage.
Third, create and sign a marriage covenant. Whether you are newlyweds or have been married awhile, why not consider having a ceremony in which you renew your vows and then sign a covenant? You could do this with other couples at your church or in your home with the witnesses being family members or close friends. It would make a memorable observance during a family gathering—at Christmas, or Valentine’s Day, or your wedding anniversary. And after the covenant signing, hang the document in a prominent spot.
Fourth, do what you promised. It won’t ultimately make any difference if you sign a piece of paper but later break your covenant. Don’t let temptations and heartaches keep you from loving each other unconditionally, from caring for each other “in sickness and in health,” or from finishing strong in your marriage and family. I love the definition of commitment evoked by Winston Churchill, who said, “The nose of a bulldog is slanted backwards, so that he can continue to breathe without letting go.” Don’t let go! Fulfill your vows.
Finally, urge others to keep their covenant. In the Christian community we need to band together to fight divorce. We serve a God who has gone on record on this topic: “I hate divorce” (Malachi 2:16). We need to combat divorce in the most positive way—by honoring our covenants and encouraging others to do the same. Together we can become known in our culture as the keepers and protectors of the marriage covenant.
Ashley and Michael’s covenant now hangs in their home, a constant reminder of their promise of fidelity to each other and of the promise of God to guard and sustain their marriage. It also reminds the rest of us to pray for them and hold them accountable to their vows.
Renewed devotion to the marriage covenant could become a significant factor in helping countless couples stick to their vows and achieve the satisfaction and joy of a lasting marriage. Will you be a part of this movement?

Written by Dennis Rainey
Dennis Rainey is the president and chief executive officer of FamilyLife, a subsidiary of Campus Crusade for Christ. Since the organization began in 1976, Dennis' leadership has enabled FamilyLife to grow into a dynamic and vital ministry that offers families blueprints for living godly lives.  Dennis is host of FamilyLife Today radio program and has written numerous books.  He and his wife, Barbara, live near Little Rock, Arkansas.  They have six children and many grandchildren.

Man arrested for 'planning attack' on tourists in France

                           
A radicalised convert to Islam has been arrested in France for allegedly planning to attack American and Russian tourists at a popular medieval site.

News of the arrest came as the country reeled from yet another terror attack, after an extremist pledging allegiance to the Islamic State group killed a policeman and his partner at their home in the Paris suburb of Magnanville on Monday.

A judicial source said the 22-year-old suspect was arrested on Monday night in southern Carcassonne where he had gone to carry out "a violent act, in particular targeting Americans and Russians".

He had in his possession "a knife and a small mallet", the source said.

The suspect comes from the southern French town of Lunel -- notorious for the number of residents who have left to wage jihad in Syria -- but had been living in the nearby Tarn region.

Russia strikes U.S.-backed rebels in Syria: U.S. official

                             
Russia warplanes struck at rebels battling Islamic State militants, including forces backed by the United States, in southern Syria on Thursday, a senior U.S. defense official said.

The official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, criticized the Russian air strikes near al-Tanf and said no Russia or Syrian ground forces were in the area at the time.

"Russia's latest actions raise serious concern about Russian intentions," the official said.

"We will seek an explanation from Russia on why it took this action and assurances this will not happen again.‎"

British-based monitoring group the Syrian Observatory for Human Rights said warplanes had struck a meeting of U.S.-backed forces fighting against Islamic State in al-Tanf village, near the al-Tanf border crossing with Iraq, killing two fighters and wounding four others.

It said it was unclear whose planes had carried out the attack, however.

Washington has consistently refused to join forces with Russia in Syria against Islamic State ever since Moscow launched its campaign of air strikes in September last year, accusing it of acting solely to prop up Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

Singer Meat Loaf collapses on stage in Canada

                              
Rock singer Meat Loaf collapsed on stage during a performance in Edmonton, Alberta, according to reports.
                                   

The 68-year old, whose real name is Marvin Lee Aday, had postponed a Calgary show earlier in the week "due to illness" said Meat Loaf's Facebook page.

Several social media videos show the singer falling down during his Grammy Award winning song "I'd Do Anything for Love" at the Northern Jubilee Auditorium Thursday night.

On the videos, Meat Loaf's microphone thuds on stage, he collapses forward, puts his hands down and then rolls over. Fellow musicians and stage hands rush to his side. The song then abruptly stops. Some fans were confused at first.

NASA spacecraft barreling toward Jupiter for July 4 meetup

                        
A NASA spacecraft is bound for a Fourth of July encounter with Jupiter in the latest quest to study how the largest planet in the solar system formed and evolved.

As Juno approaches Jupiter's harsh radiation environment, it will fire its main engine to slow down and then slip into orbit around the planet.

"It's a one-shot deal," mission chief scientist Scott Bolton from the Southwest Research Institute in San Antonio, Texas, said. "Everything is riding on it."

If all goes as planned, Juno will spend nearly a year circling Jupiter's poles and peering through clouds to scrutinize the planet's southern and northern lights, which are considered the strongest in the solar system.

"Jupiter is a planet on steroids. Everything about it is extreme," Bolton said during a briefing for reporters from NASA headquarters in Washington.

Since the 1970s, spacecraft have circled or zipped past Jupiter, sending back stunning views of the planet's signature Great Red Spot — A long-lived storm — and its numerous moons. The most extensive study came from the Galileo spacecraft, which dropped a probe on the surface. Galileo explored Jupiter and its moons for 14 years.

Unlike Earth, which is a rocky planet, Jupiter is a gas giant made up mostly of hydrogen and helium. Scientists still don't know whether Jupiter has a solid core or how much oxygen and water the planet has — information that could help unravel how Earth and the solar system came to be.

The trip to Jupiter — the fifth planet from the sun — took nearly five years, allowing Juno to loop around the inner solar system and use Earth as a gravitational slingshot to propel itself into deep space.

Previous missions to Jupiter have relied on nuclear power sources because of the distance from the sun. Juno is running on solar power, with three huge panels designed to face the sun during most of the mission. The wings are 29 feet long and 9 feet wide.

Compiled by Saturday Page