Why Are You Getting Married?

                                
You are reading this article because you are either getting married shortly, already married or even hoping to get married. I watched the movie “why did I get married?” and to be honest, it provoked me to evaluating my own reasons for entering marriage. I got married in my early twenties and at the time I thought I was totally in love.  In those days there were no engagement rings. You were just told that his family was coming to see yours. This was enough for you to understand that this was a proposal.  So truth be told, we never really sat down to speak about the marriage. It was just assumed that our relationship was mature enough and we graduated into marriage after dating for five years. So why is this question important? It sets the foundation and tone for your marriage.  

You are getting married because this is what is expected.

You are not so young anymore or maybe you feel that you have met your perfect partner. And you just feel ready for marriage. Or maybe your friends and family have been waiting for that big day. Thing is, after the wonderful wedding, you start a life together with this person. And guess what, it’s for keeps. Haiya. For real. There is no exit clause. This means that what everyone expected of you is no longer relevant.

It is now down to the two of you. A lot of things will change but you have vowed to stick together…. Remember the part of your vows where you say ‘for good times or bad’. Do you have any clue what that means? This is where I ask you to evaluate, are you getting married for people or are you willing to stick by this person till death do you part? The bible says in Ecclesiastes 5:2 “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God”. Maybe you have already taken this vow like I did without much thought. It’s okay. Take the time to examine your heart.

 

For me, this is what was expected as my friends were all getting married at the time and our parents were waiting with bated breath.  I had no clue what marriage was about and how foundations play into the marriage. I brought enough baggage into the marriage to fill a house. He brought baggage too but maybe I brought more…. Not sure. Anyway, the baggage we had made it difficult to maneuver this marriage as everywhere we turned, there was a box of insecurity, a suitcase of bitterness, a sack of low self-esteem and many other forms of baggage. Truth be told, we all walk in with some sort of baggage.  

You believe your spouse will complete you. 

I found out the hard way that no human being can give you a sense of purpose or completeness. This can only come from God. Of course when you are getting married, you genuinely believe in your heart that you will complete each other. If anything the Bible says that the two shall become one. This is true. The only problem is many of us don’t have a good understanding of what God is really talking about here.  At the time the scriptures talk about oneness, the fall had not taken place. Adam and Eve were both living in perfect harmony at the Garden of Eden. In fact, Adam had just laid eyes on Eve and was totally blown away by this beauty. We all know the story. The problem is, after the fall, mankind adopted ungodly qualities that fight that godly oneness. Man is incapable of  manifesting the perfect oneness. Mankind was defiled. Thank God for the arrival of Christ. Through the cross we can now begin a journey back to the perfect love and unity once experienced in Eden. Only when Christ completes a couple, can that couple be complete as God intended and become one. Even here, remember it is a journey. So brethren, please don’t expect your partner to complete you. It is an unfair expectation. You are not able to complete your spouse either as you have flaws. Only a perfect person can complete your imperfections. Now, don’t get me wrong, we do complement each other. Only remember, sometimes the very thing that has attracted us to our spouse is the very thing that will later annoy us. 

You need companionship. 

Companionship is a good reason. None the less one must ask themselves, do I really enjoy your company? Am I a good companion? What with children and all? Who becomes the priority? I say this because many women once they have children are not able to be good companions to their spouses. On the other hand, after a while the men also get bored and also make terrible companions. You may be friends now. How long will your friendship last? Are you willing to be friends even when you have no money and one person is taking care of the family? Are you the kind of companion with a check list of how many things you do in the marriage versus what your spouse does? As you can probably tell by now, companionship is not easy. Sure it is nice to always have a nice warm bed especially with July around the corner but the truth of the matter is companionship is also an investment. Kind of like a savings account. You can only get out what you deposited. The more you save and with the right investment company, the better the returns. Some married people are better companions to their co-workers, extended family members or friends and are lukewarm or cold to their spouses. They then spend time complaining about their spouses.  If you want your spouse to be a good companion, you must work on being a good companion too. 

 

To start a family

You want to get married or are already married and your motivation was and is to start a family. God did tell man to multiply and fill the earth so there is nothing wrong. The only issue is that of late, we are seeing more and more issues of infertility in equal measure between men and women. What does this mean for you? Is this a deal breaker? Are your vows pegged to some fine print that states that without children this marriage is nullified?

It is important to evaluate this beforehand as there is an expectation by society to procreate. While children are definitely a blessing, they don’t come easy to all couples. How far will you be willing to go with fertility treatments? Some couples must engage the services of a surrogate mother to carry the pregnancy as the wife is incapable of carrying a baby due to health issues. Others have a low sperm count and therefore fertilization must take place outside the womb. Others choose to adopt and move on. Whatever the case, you must examine how you feel about this to avoid miscommunication and problems in the event that conception does not take place.  

 

Finally….

There are many reasons for marriage and I cannot write all of them down. One thing I have learnt is that I must work on my relationship with God as that makes me a better spouse. Why? When you spend time with God, you tend to do things His way which by the way goes against everything the world tells you and this means you become a positive influence in your home and are a joy to be around. So if you are planning to get married or are already married, I applaud you and wish you all the best. Put God first and you will be amazed as you see the devil coil in defeat as Jesus hands over victory to you.   I do want to say that though most of us start off with no clue, if you really work on your marriage, this is a very rewarding institution as you grow old together with your beloved. God has blessed my husband and I and through it all, Jesus has seen us through for the past twenty three years. He can do the same for you and even more. 

 

Written by Wanjiru Bachia (Korry) 

Wanjiru Bachia (Korry) is the founder of The Eden Bride
The Eden Bride seeks to help couples getting married and even those already in the marriage institution have a firm foundation so they can grow old together in matrimonial bliss.

She can be reached through korrys@gmail.com

 

10 steps to perfect wedding make-up

I am an Award winning bridal make-up artist so my experience here counts.I give you my10 top tips for making sure you look picture perfect on your big day.

1. Picking the perfect make-up artist

If you know someone who looked fabulous on their wedding day - ask them who their make-up artist was! Personal recommendations are always the best. Very often your wedding venue will have a list of mua's that they recommend or you can search online. If you love natural pretty make-up, avoid a mua that has a portfolio full of dark smokey eyes and bright lips. If you find someone who is available, arrange a trial and make sure you take lots of images of looks that you love from magazines and online.

2. DIY wedding make-up

If you are confident in applying your own make-up (and you know wedding day nerves won't get the better of you), you can opt to apply your wedding day make-up. Remember though, wedding make-up is different to applying regular make-up - it has to last all day and look photographically perfect in daylight as well as indoors. Book a lesson with a pro mua or you can always book a tutorial on a make-up counter - I recommend using a store such as Space NK, as they sell different brands and you can cherry pick the best of each brand, rather than buying it all from one cosmetics counter.

3. Choosing your make-up look

If your wedding dress is soft, romantic and pretty, a heavy smoky sexy make-up is not going to compliment your dress. Even if you LOVE this style of make-up, you will need to soften it slightly so that it works with the gown. Again, the same applies to your hair - if you choose a soft, boho, loose  hair design, you will need to keep the make-up pretty and dewy, so that everything works 'together' rather than clashing. Look through bridal magazines (Brides Magazine is the best)  and online for inspiration - you can get great ideas not only from bridal magazines, but also from red carpet images - the hair and make-up on the red carpet is always stunning!

4. It's not just about the make-up, begin with the right skincare

Don't think you can apply just 'any old' moisturiser before your make-up - if it is too thick and greasy, your make-up will 'slide off' within hours. Unless your skin is very, very dry, opt for a light, oil free moisturiser that will keep your skin hydrated and will create the perfect base for your make-up. A small amount of eye cream is fine if needed, along with lip balm too.

5. Primer is a must

If you think primers are just an extra product to get you to part with your £s - think again. The right primer will not only help your make-up look perfect for longer, it will also help smooth over fine lines and wrinkles and open pores. There are many to choose from though - as with your skincare, look for one that is suited to your own skin type. Apply all over your face (a small amount is sufficient) after skincare, before foundation.

6. Your foundation the most important part of your wedding make-up

The main reason brides-to-be say they book me for their wedding day is because they love the way I make the skin look so natural. It's all down to the correct foundation and how you apply it. Get it right and everything else will look amazing - get it wrong and it is the biggest mistake you will make. Invest in a good foundation (you do get what you pay for) and remember, it's not just about getting the right colour, it is also about getting the right formulation. Get samples from counters, take them home and wear them in daylight, all day (until evening) until you find the one for you. And my top tip - apply in THIN layers, starting from the middle of the face and blend outwards using a foundation brush.

7. Apply concealer AFTER foundation, not before

Concealers are naturally thicker in consistency than foundations (as they are designed to cover imperfections, whereas foundation is just to even the skin tone/ complexion), so to keep your skin looking as natural as possible, you want to use as little concealer as possible. If you apply your concealer first, you will rub most of it away anyway when you apply your foundation, whereas if you even out your skin tone first with foundation, you will then need less concealer. And remember, you may need to buy 2 concealers as the concealer you would buy to cover blemishes will be too dry to use under the eyes, so make sure the concealer you have is suited to the areas you need to cover.

8. Go easy on the powder

Yes, you need to use powder to set your make-up and make sure that your skin doesn't look greasy in your photos. However, if you are too heavy handed with powder, your skin will look drier, older and cakey. Avoid using a massive powder brush - opt for more of a blusher sized brush and lightly dust your t-zone, your eyelids (to avoid eyeshadow creasing) and with the tiny amount left on the brush, dust over the rest of your face.

9. Avoid 'sparkly' products 

Stay clear of any eyeshadows/ face powders/ highlighters with a lot of sparkle as they will 'bounce' off  flash photography. You can opt for products with a little shimmer - this looks more sophisticated and just apply these products in small amounts, using your fingers and blend well.

10. Go for the bridal glow

Get the cover girl glow I create for my brides by using cream blushers - applied to the apple of the cheeks and blended upwards and outwards towards the hairline, it creates the most flattering modern look on the cheeks compared to powder blushers which can sometimes look flat. If you have oily skin, don't think you have to miss out on this gorgeous look on your wedding day - there are amazing silicone based waterproof liquid cheek stains which will give you the same effect.

Written by Sarah Brock
 www.sarahbmakeup.co.uk

 Quoted “as the UK's leading bridal makeup artist” by Conde Nast BRIDES Magazine and 'the go-to makeup artist for award winning bridal makeup' by British VOGUE, Sarah Brock is a beauty writer and expert and she has been creating the most exquisite makeup looks for brides for years and her skills are highly sought after for weddings nationally and internationally. She has been selected by top Beauty Editors, Journalists, celebrities (Peter Andre/ Gary Lucy and 50 Shades of Grey star Jamie Dornan), society brides and wedding industry experts to be the makeup artist for their wedding day and has collaborated with the biggest names in bridal fashion (Jenny Packham, Sassi Holford, Philippa Lepley, Stewart Parvin and Suzanne Neville to name a few) creating the makeup looks for their stunning campaigns.

Getting married to a kenyan?Here are Kenyan wedding tradition tips.

If you are getting married to a kenyan,there are so maany things you need to know about the kenyan traditions on marriage.There are those traditions which tie weddings around the world together; such as tossing the bouquet, cutting the cake and exchange of rings. But there are some traditions which are unique to this part of the world and they are what makes a wedding truly Kenyan. Here are our favourite ones

                              1. Walkway Shukas and Women Singing on Morning of The Wedding

 On the morning of the wedding, brides around the world will probably wake up to the sound of birds chirping. But if you are a bride in Kenya you will probably hear the delightful sound of women singing.

                                                    2. Traditional Gifts Giving:

 These gifts are different from the rest in that they are traditional and they will most probably not be on your wedding registry. According to tradition these gifts are given by the groom’s parents to the couple. They include a kiondo (woven basket), a shuka, a pot and sometimes a spear and shield for the groom.

                                                         3. Couple’s Welcome Dance:

 You know you are at a Kenyan wedding when you hear the honking of cars to announce the entry of the couple at the reception.

Once the couple alights from the car, the women continue to sing and dance as they usher them into the reception. The joy and cheer is undeniable.

                                                   4. Giving Cake to Parents:   

 Cake is a part of pretty much every wedding. But for weddings in Kenya, aside from the cake to be served to everyone, the couple also gives a cake to their parents and another to their in-laws.

                                        

                                             5. Putting the Certificate in Blazer or Socks:

You have both signed the certificate and your witnesses have signed it too! Now where to keep it…the groom’s blazer or socks, of course! At least as far as weddings in Kenya go. 

We have barely scratched the surface when it comes to Kenyan wedding traditions, but these are our favourites. We would like to know what other Kenyan wedding traditions you know of and which ones you like most.

                      

Source: www.kenyaweddings.co.ke         

Nigerian Wedding Customs

Although marriage traditions may vary from rural to urban areas, weddings in Nigeria often follow several common customs. Formal meetings between the couple's families, the offer of a dowry and an engagement ceremony are all traditional events prior to a wedding ceremony. While dating and selecting your own spouse occurs in urban areas, arranged marriages are frequent in Nigeria.

Introduction Ceremony: Prior to an engagement, the families of the bride and the groom become acquainted through a formal ceremony. The groom's family usually travels to the home of the bride's family and presents a letter requesting the woman's hand in marriage. Traditional dances and the offer of a dowry are part of the process to persuade the bride's family to accept the letter. This ceremony often occurs only a few days before the wedding. 

Engagement Ceremony:The evening before the wedding day, the groom's family visits the bride's family again. This visit is to hear the response to the letter that was presented during the introduction ceremony. If a positive response is given, both families are formally introduced to the guests. Friends and family celebrate the engagement with food and drink. Often the groom's family provides traditional foods such as palm, yam, sugar and drinks as well as offering the bride's family a suitcase packed with traditional clothing, bags, shoes and jewelry. The officiating elder, the person who transferred the messages between the couple's families, drinks from a cup of palm wine and may also invite the bride and the groom to share the drink. When the ceremony has ended, the bride remains at her father's house to prepare for the wedding ceremony. 

Wedding Day:Depending upon the local custom, the bride's elders may help her to bathe and prepare for the wedding. In a traditional Nigerian wedding, the bride usually wears imported Indian fabrics as well as a decorative coral-beaded headpiece, ankle bracelets and necklaces. The bride's hands and feet may be decorated with intricate henna designs. When she is ready, the father of the bride accompanies her to the church. After the ceremony, there is a party that frequently lasts late into the night. Live bands may perform traditional music while everyone enjoys a meal and dancing. After the party, the bride returns to her father's home to change out of her wedding attire. Her new husband arrives with his family to claim his bride and the couple departs to begin their new life together. 

Written by Betsy Bender

11 Tips to Green-ify Your Wedding

                                                  
Most eco-warriors spend substantial amounts of time worrying about the environmental affect of their wedding. And with millions of weddings being held each year, this it's easy to imagine the scale of damage being done to the teensy spot of green that we call home. But the good news is that creating a 'green' wedding has never been more accessible or affordable! Read on to do your bit for the planet, without sacrificing your ultimate wedding style or celebrations.

• Try to use or incorporate local, organic produce wherever possible. This means that: you're guests won't be exposed to pesticides found in non-organic foods and flowers; the flowers will be fresher and the food tastier as it'll naturally be in season; it'll be cheaper, as you don't have to contribute to the shipping costs of out-of-season, foreign foods; and it leaves a much smaller carbon footprint, as sprayed pesticides and transport are the factors most prominently affecting the environment here. Also, remember that Australia has some of the most exquisite wines available!
   
• Hold your ceremony and reception at the same location. This will mean that you save on additional transport and decorations (great for your pocketbook as well), as well as being majorly convenient for your guests.
   
• Encourage your guests to carpool or provide transport for the masses, such as buses. Where possible, choose fuel efficient wedding cars.
   
• Go organic or use recyled materials: this applies to your invitations, your dress, any table linens, curtains, hangings, chuppas, etc you're planning on using. Using organic materials not only saves substantial amounts of water (the creation of one pair of jeans uses thousands of litres of water, just to give you an idea), and also saves you from added chemicals and pesticides. Use recycled paper for invitations and remove any excess like registry info etc Ask guests to recycle your invitations. Provide an electronic invitation with extra info (such as registry and RSVP)
• If you love the look of flowers, but cringe at the thought of how wasteful it is to have thousands of flowers cut just for your wedding, consider using potted flowers where possible. Use potted plants as aisle runners, backdrops for your seating chart stands, and of course, your centrepieces. Your guests will be able to take these beauties home and enjoy them for a long while to come!
• Register your wedding for carbon credits instead of conventional wedding gifts.
   
• Use recycled and eco- friendly material for your wedding bonbonniere too! Give out packets of seeds, saplings, or make an edible bombonniere out of eco-friendly ingredients.
   
• Choose eco- friendly candles. Ever noticed that most candles produce a black soot when being burned? Yep, that's carbon too. Opt for soy and honeycomb candles- these are better for the environment, burn more beautifully, and come in every imaginable shape, size, and frangrance.
   
• Use recycled glassware, if available from your catering company. Often recycled glass comes in a plethora of shapes and sizes- from classic, elegant pieces, to those that are handmade, one-of-a-kind, and a little less conventional.
   
• Cut down on extra dishes and cutlery where you can. The manufacturing and washing of dishes wastes thousands of tonnes of carbon every year, so try to use these as minimally as possible. Instead of using dishes within dishes (e.g. a separate ramekin for rice), try to make your separate dishes self contained: stack your vegies artfully, use sweet or savoury crepes to wrap your food, and incorporate finger food onto your menu.
   
• Honeymoon locally! Chances are that you, like most Australians, have sunk plenty of money into seeing international sights- and why wouldnt you? Australia will always be there, right? Use this opportunity to help the environment, save some money, and explore the incredibly unique and rich experiences Australia has to offer.

Written by Emma Margeaux

Gay couple ‘humiliated’ by Emirates staff in Dubai

                                            
A British gay couple were allegedly humiliated by Emirates staff at Dubai airport after being asked if they were brothers.
Lee Charlton, 42, from Manchester claims Emirates check-in staff laughed at him and his partner when they confirmed they were a couple while travelling from Dubai to Durban with their son Kieran.
According to Charleston, a woman working behind the check-in counter at Dubai airport gave him “quizzical looks” and summoned her manager after asking him whether either Jason or Kieran were his brothers.
The couple and their son were then taken to an airport back room and left there for two hours and told that their documentation would not allow them to enter South Africa. They nearly missed their connecting flight and were forced to rush across the large airport to catch it just in time, despite originally having a three-hour stop over.
The 42-year-old posted the complaint on his Facebook page, saying, “I am really amazed at the small mindedness of your handling team in Dubai. I have not felt so embarrassed like this because of my sexuality since I was younger. You really need to give culture training to your teams as Dubai is one of the biggest airports in the world and gay people who have adopted will become more frequent.”

Germany to crack down on unofficially tolerated polygamy

                               
Germany is set to clamp down on religious polygamy and marriages involving minors.
Polygamy in Germany is already illegal, but Justice Minister Heiko Maas wants to make the move towards Germany officially not tolerating polygamous marriages.
Maas did not propose any measures that could be implemented to limit polygamy.
The Justice minister said in his words, “No one who comes to us has the right to put their cultural roots, or their religious beliefs, above our laws, for that reason multiple marriages cannot be recognised in Germany.”
Maas designed the move to prevent people from committing to more than one relationship. He also wants to stop authorities from turning a blind eye.
Polygamy is not just illegal in Germany, it is a criminal offence. But whilst these relationships are outlawed, they are quietly tolerated by local councils.
It’s not just polygamy Maas attacked. Arranged and forced marriages and marriages of minors are being cracked down on.
“We have to assess this very carefully,” he said. “We cannot tolerate forced marriages.”
No law presently exists to protect minors who have been married, but courts are able to make case-by-case decisions.