
Do you know that your daily emotional experience shapes the decisions you make and the actions you take?
It
has been said that it’s not what happens to us, but rather how we
respond to what happens that determines the results you will experience
in your life. And how you respond is directly influenced by how you
choose to interpret the events and circumstances of your life. This
likewise stems from your ability to effectively manage your emotions in
ways that will allow them to serve and assist you with obtaining your
desired outcomes.
Each and every one of the so called negative or limiting emotions
that we experience on a daily basis can actually serve us and provide
us with the necessary guidance we need to make more effective decisions
throughout the day. As such, it’s absolutely paramount that we take the
time to learn to understand how to interpret our emotions in ways that
will help us find answers and solutions, not problems and difficulties.
Within
this summary I would like to provide you with all the necessary
knowledge you need to help you manage and interpret your emotions far
more effectively throughout the day. We will first take a look at
different types of so called “
limiting” emotions that we
experience on a daily basis and attempt to see them from a new, unique
and helpful perspective. We will also break down a process you can
work-through to help you transform your emotional state — providing you
with the leverage you need to effectively manage your emotional state on
a daily basis in ways that helps serve your purposes and objectives.
Breaking Down the 8 Emotional Types
Before jumping into an explanation of each one of these emotions,
it’s important to understand that these emotional responses are a signal to your conscious brain that something is not working, and therefore something needs to change. They are in essence a call-to-action directing you to do something specific to alleviate your discomfort or pain.
Finally,
all the emotions we are going to be discussing below are a result of
stuck-states that we bring upon ourselves throughout the day. These
stuck-states are patterned responses to events, people and circumstances
that have their own physiological responses, words, phrases, etc. They
are in essence comfort seeking mechanisms that we use whenever things
don’t go our way, or as we had expected.
Let’s now break down each of these eight emotional states.
Discomfort
Discomfort is an uncomfortable emotion that often leads to boredom, distress,impatience or embarrasement.
You
are experiencing discomfort because you are interpreting a situation or
a set of circumstances in a specific way that naturally leads you to
the feeling of discomfort. It’s actually within this
interpretation
that discomfort grows. This therefore means that the moment you
transform or change your interpretation of the situation, is the moment
you gain control over your emotional experience.
If you ever
experience the emotion of discomfort it’s important to first determine
what it is that you are doing, and secondly how exactly you are
interpreting your experience of reality. If what you are doing is not
getting you the results that you are after, then simply try taking a
different approach. If however you are not able to tackle the situation
from a different perspective, then try to change your perspective of the
situation. Either way, you should be able to find an answer that will
help you to pull yourself out of this uncomfortable emotional state.
If
for example you are bored, then attempt to do something different with
your time. Or you can simply try and interpret your experience in a
unique way by turning things into a game. Either strategy will work well
as long as you are willing to be flexible in your approach.
Fear
Fear is often a very debilitating emotion that leads to worry,anxiety and indecision.
You
are experiencing fear because you are interpreting a situation or a set
of circumstances in a specific way that naturally leads you to the
feeling of fear. This feeling of fear often results from an emotional
response of what might occur in the future if you make a specific
decision or take a specific action. This is all well-and-good if it’s
something that is based on hard facts and evidence that is designed to
protect you from harm. However, many times our fears are riddled with
inaccuracies that confuse and mislead us. Therefore the first step you
must always take to begin the process of removing fear from your life is
to evaluate the “
real” from the “
imagined”.
Fear
is of course a very valuable emotion because it protects us from harm
in the off-chance that we are running away from a saber-toothed tiger.
However, most of the time, in this modern day-and-age, it actually
harms us because it keeps us away from achieving our goals and
objectives.
There are two quick things you must do that will help
you manage your fears more effectively. The first is to clarify what it
is you really want. And the second is to prepare thoroughly for the
actions you will take to achieve your desired outcomes. These two steps
are critical, because the vast majority of our fears are based on a lack of knowledge and a lack of preparation.
If you successfully tick both of these boxes, then you will have the
ammunition you need to overcome just about any fear that you can
possibly experience in our modern age.
Hurt:
The emotion of hurt tends to leave us feeling powerless and often leads to a sense of loss and jealously.You
are experiencing hurt because you are interpreting a situation or a set
of circumstances in a specific way that naturally leads you to feeling
hurt. Likewise, feeling hurt could be a result of not communicating your
needs effectively to others. As such you must begin today by
communicating what you need from your relationships in a clear and
non-threatening manner.
If communicating your needs to others
doesn’t work, then take into consideration your expectations. Maybe your
expectations are not reasonable, maybe they have changed over time, or
maybe they simply no longer apply to your current relationship and
therefore may need to be reevaluated.
Finally, feelings of hurt
sometimes result from a lack of understanding about our relationships or
about our circumstances. In such instances it helps if you replace your
hurt with fascination and curiosity. By becoming curious, you
immediately begin asking better questions, which expands the way you
think and leads to answers and possibilities that you may not have
considered before.
Anger
Anger has a tendency to spin us out-of-control and can often lead to resentfulness.
You
are experiencing anger because you are interpreting a situation or a
set of circumstances in a specific way that naturally leads you to the
experience of anger. However, anger can actually serve us if we are able
to understand its underlying meaning.
Before you are quick to
embrace the emotion of anger, it’s important to understand that anger
often arises because one or more of our rules has been violated by
others. As such, we become angry because we no longer feel in control of
the situation, people or circumstances. In such instances we can
actually let go of anger quite quickly, by spending some time
reevaluating our rules. Maybe they’re not reasonable, maybe they are
out-of-date, or just maybe they shouldn’t be applied in these
circumstances.
Alternatively, anger can come about because of an
incorrect interpretation of circumstances or people’s intentions. In
such instances you must question whether or not you have possibly
misinterpreted the situation, or simply misinterpreted people’s
intentions. In that case, be open to the possibilities and passionately
look for alternative meanings. Only an open and flexible approach will
provide you with the answers you are after.
Guilt
Guilt
has a tendency to leave us feeling somewhat deflated and can often lead to the emotion of regret.
You
are experiencing guilt because you are interpreting a situation or a
set of circumstances in a specific way that naturally leads you to the
feeling guilt. And the longer you hold onto that guilt the worse it
tends to get as it continues to fester and grow inside your head.
When
experiencing guilt it’s important to remember that our experience of
guilt is simply our interpretation of what we did or failed to do and
the impact that this has had on others. The moment you choose to
interpret the events and circumstances of your life in a new and unique
way, is the moment that guilt suddenly changes and turns into something
that can potentially motivate and empower you to take positive action.
Realize that the impact that your actions have had on others may not be as they seem. Therefore in
such instances you may need to take a look at your rules for feeling
guilty. Maybe these rules need to be reassessed.Finally, guilt is
often resolved when you are able to make peace with yourself and peace
with the people you may or may not have hurt.
Frustration
Frustration is one of those emotions that we just love to hate because it makes us
feel as though we’re so close, yet so far away from the outcome we want.
You
are experiencing frustration because you are interpreting a situation
or a set of circumstances in a specific way that naturally leads you to
feeling frustrated. Yet it is within this feeling that your answers lie.
You
are frustrated because you are trying to do something, however you
don’t seem to be getting the results you are after. It’s like you’re
being held-back from your goal by some outside force that you can’t seem
to control.
Instead of trying to control the situation, the key
is to begin thinking outside the box; to begin thinking of new
possibilities, ideas and possible solutions that might very well help
you solve the problem you are dealing with. And sometimes all it takes
is for you to look for new information that will provide you with the
insight you need to see the circumstances from a slightly different
perspective.
Finally, frustration often results from not getting
the results you are after. In such instances all it takes to resolve
your frustrations is to simply change your approach; try something new
and different that you hadn’t considered before. Curiosity,
determination and a flexible approach are the keys you should be looking
for.
Inadequacy
Inadequacy can make you feel miserable,unworthy and incompetent. It’s an emotion that leaves you feeling like you’re at the bottom of the heap with no way out.
You
are experiencing inadequacy because you simply don’t have the
experience, skills or knowledge to live up to your high expectations. So
you can either change your expectations about yourself and your
ability, or you can go out there and gain the necessary knowledge,
skills and experience necessary to achieve the outcomes you desire to
have in your life.
You could also be experiencing inadequacy
because you are simply undermining your own strengths and abilities. In
such circumstances it’s always important to get a second opinion.
Therefore, go out there and ask someone for feedback. Ask them to give
you their honest observations. Maybe they will provide you with some
very surprising insights and perspectives.
Finally, inadequacy can
often stem from a lack of confidence. If you you are riddled with low
self-esteem, then it seems perfectly okay to feel inadequate. However,
if you take the time to build your confidence, then you will likewise
develop more self-belief and will begin to feel better about yourself
and your prospects.
Overwhelm
Overwhelm is one of those emotions that creeps up on you over time, and before
you know it, it takes over your life and can at times lead to the very
debilitating emotions of grief and depression.
You
are experiencing overwhelm because you either have too much on your
plate or you are simply unable to manage or take control over aspects of
your life. In such circumstances you feel out-of-control and unable to
respond accordingly.
The solution to overwhelm lies in taking back
control over small chunks of your life, one piece at a time. It means
taking a part of your life and dividing it up into smaller manageable
chunks that you can successfully work with. It also means letting go of
any unnecessary obligations and commitments that are weighing you down,
or simply rescheduling them in a way that will free up your time while
providing you more space to do what’s most important.
Overcoming
overwhelm is simple if you know what to do and are committed to taking
the actions necessary to reschedule and re-prioritize your life
accordingly. Sometimes all it takes is a little lesson in productivity.
Written by Adam Sicinski