How many years have you started out with the best intentions only to find that less than 60 days into the New Year you've already broken your New Year's resolutions? Moreover, rather than focusing on what's working, you tend to be really hard on yourself and end up throwing out any small bit of progress with the overwhelming sensation that you're not likely to reach your goal. Sound familiar? Here's how to break this pattern and come up with lasting change you will stick with--not just this year, but every year thereafter.
First of all, here's what NOT to do: 
  1. Don't should all over yourself. I covered this at length in a previous article, but to recap it's important to understand the reasons why you MUST change. From a behavior to an emotion to a belief, creating lasting change is about getting out of the "should" model which rarely delivers the results you want and instead deeply reflecting on why the change is a MUST.
  2. Don't set vague or highly unrealistic goals. Resolutions around things like "I'd like more money" or "I should lose some weight" are vague and unmeasurable. It's impossible to know when you've reached these goals, so you end up ignoring them altogether. Instead, be specific "I want to lose 5 pounds a month until I reach my ideal weight.
  3. Don't wait until the end of the year to measure your progress. Even if you've crafted a realistic resolution, you need at least weekly (ideally daily) measurements that ensure you're tracking toward your larger 12 month (annual) goal.
For Lasting Change, Do This Instead:
  1. Write out the story of your legendary year as if it were a move script. My coach,Chad Cooper, taught me this one. If your life were a movie, would people be falling asleep through it or on the edge of their seats? You are the director in your own life. If you want more excitement, more adventure, more romance, you simply need to start by imagining the outcome you want to experience this year. The more detail you give it, the more emotionally invested you'll be to ensuring and living the outcome you want to make happen.
  2. Ask yourself, "Why Do I Really Want This?" It's simply not enough to have a plan of what you want to do with your life--even for this next year. In order to make it happen, you need to really understand why this is a MUST for you (not a "should"). What will these changes in your life bring? Why do you want this change in the first place? And then think about the massive action you need to take in order to achieve what is now a MUST for you. Asking these questions have the side benefit of increasing your productivity up to 200 percent.
  3. Get a coach or at the very least, and accountability partner. Who's going to help you achieve the goals you've set out for yourself? You know what happens when you get busy, so who is going to force you to stop, reflect and measure your progress? Even if you're one of the few people with the skills and discipline to do this yourself, a coach and/or an accountability partner will schedule regular meetings (usually twice a month) to ensure you're making the progress you set out to accomplish. And, if not, to help ensure you make the small changes necessary to ensure the outcomes you seek.
It's time to focus on the outcome you want to see this year. Start by writing your legendary story as if it were a movie script. Then spend some time thinking why you really want this new life. What will life be like when you accomplish these goals and changes? And last, but not least, who (besides yourself) will hold you accountable to the outcomes you really want to achieve?
If you're serious about the changes you want to make in your life, take this approach. Not only will it work, but you'll find you never want to go back to the days of annual measurement of highly unrealistic goals that you "should" do, but know deep down that you never will. Achievers envision entirely new possibilities, get deep with the reasons this new reality is a MUST for them, and find someone they trust to hold themselves accountable. I'd wish you luck, but you don't need luck when you do these three things instead. After all, it's grot(not gri nd) that makes the difference and determine your success.

Written by Bill Carmody