10 Things Husbands Should NEVER Do in Front of their Wives

                                                     
We all know that  there are some things\ women should never do in front of her hiusband. Some of you agree with the stuff, some don't, but I still haven't dropped a deuce around my man and I never will. Of course, I am not the ONLY one who has to check myself around my hubster.
He also has some bad habits I would much rather he keep in private. I also know he isn't alone. Most of the gross things my husband does are things all men do. \

Spit in the Sink (or Shower):What is it with men and spitting. All that phlegm we don't get? I don't get it. But yuck. Seriously. Hock a loogie on your own time, dude. And then they just leave it there in the sink, like a blob of jelly. G-ROSS.

Pass Gas (Loudly):Sorry, but really. I don't want anything to do with this. I know some women think it's cute or funny, but not I. Do your business in the bathroom, please. I don't want to know how often you pass gas because it will make me SO much less likely to want to get it on with you later. 

Pee in the Shower:"It's just going right down the drain, honey." Sorry. No. I don't want to see it. Wrap a towel around your luscious butt and pee into the receptacle that is MADE for your pee. Then flush, please. Thanks! 

Wipe His Bum:I don't want to see any man pooping. Ever. But if I have to see it, then so be it. But please FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, wipe that ass somewhere else. 

Pick His Nose:For some reason some men pick their noses when they drive. Don't believe me? Look around sometime while you are driving. Look into the other cars. WHY? Their fingers are in their noses! I swear! I never want to see my hubby doing this. Please go into the bathroom.

Knock Her Breast Size:It's like your penis. Don't do it to us. We won't do it to you. 

Pick His Toes:Your toes are not sexy. Not even in the same BALLPARK as sexy. Leave them alone when you are near us.

Look Lustfully at Her Friend:Come ON now. We know you like to look at women. We look at men, too. But our FRIEND?! That's just wrong. Don't do it or we will be angry, indeed.

Scratch His Balls:We like your balls just fine, but we don't need to watch you scratch and sniff. It's nasty. 

Floss His Teeth:Because we would like to kiss you again in the near future, we do NOT want to have to imagine bits of greenery and food caught between your teeth. It's gross. And gross is a sex blocker.

Written by Sasha Brown-Worsham

Sasha Brown-Worsham is a mother,runner,wife,author,and writer.Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Parents, Parenting, Runner's World, and many other publications over the years. She also make a mean margarita and run races (everything from 5Ks to marathons).She live outside of New York City with my husband, three kids (7, 6, and 9 months), a corpulent cat, and a chihuahua with emotional issues.