Saturdays have become synonymous with weddings. It is day
when the groom and bride make their vows to become one and cherish each other
forever. The whole ambience: the colours, the food, the MC, the brides family,
the groom family, friends, relations etc add to the success of the day. Some blogs even rub it on the faces of single
people with fairy tale weddings that they publish. Just as someone pointed out,
we would never run out of Saturdays so no need to fret another person’s wedding. That being said, Nigerian weddings can be
filled with dramas behind the scenes. Well, there are some regular people you
will find at almost every wedding ceremony, here is my list:
The Brother/sister of the bride(groom)
This person is overly busy. He or she is just everywhere
coordinating, arranging, running errands, serving food, organising. In short
they are everywhere. All guests admire his/ her efforts and see him/her as too
efficient. The award for the hard worker goes to them.
The Glutton
This set of people forgot to eat from home so they start
hustling to be served food. They forgot their manners and allow hunger to
remove their dignity. For this people, their motto is me first before others.
When served, they satisfy themselves before thinking of other people at the
table.
The Bitter Aunty
This woman assumes that every single lady present is an
enemy of progress. You can’t dance with the couple because she forms an
unnecessary banner over the couple. She has an issue with the fact that you are
single.
The Clique
They appear to be advantageous. They bought asoebi. They get
the best of seats. They get served food on time. They receive the best
souvenirs. The wedding reception was for them oo. You can’t join them because
they will make you feel like an outcast.
The Mogbomoyas (a.k.a where the party @)
They are thankful that
the wedding didn’t need an IV to make an entrance.These people gate
crash and pretend like they were invited when we know they don’t know anybody
at the wedding ceremony. They blend in easily.
The Selfie freak
This person attended the wedding to be snapping pictures to
post on social media. He/She wants to show that he or she is the owambe
guy/chic. I don’t envy such people from beginning to the end of the event; it
is selfies all the way. Don’t mind me; they are having fun, abi?
The Networkers
They are on a business mission in a wedding ceremony. As
they meet with people they are dropping their business cards advertising their
make up business, fashion line, small chops business, photography hustle,
souvenirs jobs etc. They do not slack as they want to make money on the go
anywhere, anyhow.
The Single but seriously searching
These people came to
the wedding for a mission to hook up. While the whole ceremony is going on,
they are busy trying mingling and possibly hooking up. Their phones are ever
ready to collect contacts and do necessary follow-ups.
The Single and so what?
Don’t ask this people when they are getting married because
you would not get any answer. They would reply with smiles and shove you off.
These people have a motto:’You Only Live Once’ – so they try to live their life
to the fullest despite their marital status. At wedding ceremonies, they are
the ones that seem to dance the most. At times, someone needs to remind them
that they should not over dance lest people think they are the couple
celebrating.
The Married
Every wedding is a reminder of how they started out and did
theirs. They seem to compare their own big day to the one they are attending
presently-what went well or what did not go well? They are always dressed in
the same attires as per couple things. People tend to compliment them on how
they look better off now that they are married.
The Old School
They frown when the DJ starts spinning new school music.
They do not need to utter words but their facial expressions speak volumes.
When the music changes to oldies you see them coming alive and beaming with
smiles as they remember the good old days.
The Ride or Die chic
She is a complete slayer. With the latest amoeba style,
infinite gele and make up on point. She tends to draw attraction. Sometimes,
she need to be reminded that the wedding is not about her and she should not
compete with the bride.
Did I leave out any set of people?
Written by Akpo Uyeh
Akpo Uyeh is your girl next door. A Yoghurt freak. Sunshine lover. Music enthusiast. Scrabble player. She blogs via
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