What makes for a healthy romantic relationship differs from
couple to couple. Forming a trusting and positive partnership takes effort and
time. And unfortunately, it doesn’t just happen overnight. For any relationship
to grow strong and stay strong, you need to put in some work. Below are some
habits that will help create and maintain a happy and healthy twosome.
Communication
Communication is key. It is one of the most important
qualities a healthy relationship. However, not everyone knows how to
communicate properly ... or even communicate at all. Happy and healthy couples
have this game down. They vocalize their love for one another, saying “I love
you” often and offering compliments. They also discuss the bad instead of
sweeping issues under the rug. In order to move forward and grow, you two need
to be able to truly talk about your feelings. No matter how awkward or
uncomfortable it feels, it will make for a long-lasting and fulfilling
relationship.
Respect
Aretha Franklin sang a whole song about it, so you know it’s
got to be important. Respecting your partner comes in many forms. Maintaining a
joyful relationship means respecting your partner’s time, heart, character, and
trust. However, there are many things people do in relationships that can break
down respect, like name-calling, talking negatively about the other to friends
or family, and/or threatening to leave the relationship.
Quality Time, Not Quantity
It’s all about quality over quantity. It doesn’t matter how
much time you and your partner spend together. The most important part is about
the quality of this time. There’s a huge difference between having dinner at a
table while talking about your day at work, versus having dinner while sitting
on a couch watching the latest episode of The Voice. It’s fine to zone out
together and enjoy distractions, but it’s crucial to make sure you two are
still engaging and spending quality time together to maintain a deep
connection.
Time Apart
Spending time together with your partner is important. But
just as important is spending time apart. Being able to do your own things and
remain independent is vital. When couples spend too much time together, it can
create an unhealthy codependence. Maintaining healthy boundaries and some
autonomy will make for a long-lasting partnership.
Love Languages
Gary Chapman came up with the notion that men and women have
five love languages. People have unique ways of feeling loved. There are words
of affirmation, receiving gifts, quality time, acts of service, and physical
touch. It’s important to know which love language speaks to you, along with
your partner. Telling each other what makes you feel loved and special helps
both of you stay connected. Furthermore, make sure you are attending to your
partner’s love language consistently.
Appreciation
Often, we forget to let other people in our lives know that
we appreciate them. We think it, but we don't remember to show it. This occurs
in our romantic relationships as well. Show your special someone that you love
him or her. This could be done with words, cards, flowers, acts of kindness, or
more. Remember, a flower a day keeps the fights at bay. Okay, maybe not every
day, but you get the point.
Positive Vs. Negative
Sometimes, we get caught up in the negative. We hate our
jobs, are annoyed with our friends, and our boyfriend or girlfriend is getting
on our last nerve. Uh-oh, have we been drinking too much of that half-empty
glass? It’s vital that we look at our partner’s positive qualities, in contrast
to the negative. Nobody is perfect, and that includes our significant other. So
instead of focusing on the bad, let's make a conscious effort to look at the
good.
Choose Your Battles
There are arguments to be had in every relationship. It’s
crucial to bring issues to the forefront, and work through the hard times
together. However, I don’t think arguing over your SO using your favorite
coffee cup should be one of those. Choose your battles wisely, because people
in happy and healthy relationships do.
Sex
Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s also talk about how
important it is in cultivating a flourishing relationship. Sex is simple. The
more you have it, the more you want it. The other side of that is true as well.
The less you have it, the less you want it — and, unfortunately, the less
you'll feel connected to your partner. Keep your sex life alive and
interesting. "Spicing it up" is not just meant for the kitchen.
No Comparisons
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Or even if
it is, it might not be the kind of grass you would like. We often compare our
lives to those of others — what jobs people have, their homes, their clothes.
And with the help of social media, we tend to compare our relationships as
well. But the happiest of couples don’t look to see what the grass looks like
on the other side. They are happy with the view out their own front door.
Written by Sara Altschule
Sara Altschule is a Writer and Relationship Expert. Sara received her
Master's in Counseling Psychology with the goal of helping others in the dating
and love department. She is on a mission, one heart at a time. Sara is a Blush
Life Coach and would love to help you with any of your relationship, dating,
and/or life needs.
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