4 Ways to turn your sexless marriage around

                              

Intimacy matters a whole lot more in a marriage than people give it credit for. Find out how you can get your sensual groove back with these tips.

There are multiple reasons why many married couples wind up not having sex for long periods of time. Whether it is for weeks, months or years on end, there is no denying that not having sex takes a negative toll on both parties’ mental and physical health.

I will not pretend to be an expert on why partners fall into sexless ruts. However, after speaking to several married couples, I have come to the conclusion that there are many reasons why this tends to happen. Illness, physical problems, external stresses like work and finances, not having time, being bored, focusing on kids and running the household, not being turned on by your partner and so on all play a part in marriages being sexless.

According to a piece that appeared on The Wall Street Journal website, “When sex therapists talk about a nonsexual marriage, they mean a couple having sex fewer than 10 times a year.”

If you are in a committed relationship, and are only getting laid less than a dozen times a year, you are undoubtedly in a sexual rut. It is not okay to neglect sex in a marriage, regardless of how long you have been together or how busy you are. As bad as this seems, a sexless marriage is a glaring indication of a dying or dead marriage. You have to speak to your partner about this and make some much needed changes if you want to improve your overall life.

How to turn your sexless marriage around

If you do not know what to do or where to start, here are 4 possible options for you to try out. Keep in mind that several of the ideas are really out there, but when push comes to shove, there is no harm in giving extreme methods a go.

#1 Speak to your partner. Broaching the topic of having more sex is not an easy one but you have to build up the courage to do so. Do not treat it like a taboo. You are inundated with sex everywhere you look. From billboards to music videos to magazine ads, sex is prevalent in our culture. Even so, you are not the first person to say that it is difficult to discuss sex with your partner.

You can give it a gentle yet honest go by starting with, “You know how much I love you but there is something we need to discuss.” Once you get over the initial hurdle of broaching the topic, the words, and hopefully actions, will flow easier.

#2 Go for therapy. If you have spoken to your partner about this and still see no change, then it is time to bust out the big guns. There is no shame in getting help from a third party, and in this case, it is speaking to a professional sex therapist.

He or she will be very familiar with the problem you are facing, and can offer a safe and private outlet from which to express emotions and get back on the road to a healthy sex life. From sex talk to games and little projects that you can work on together, a sex therapist will be able to help a lot more than if you guys were to sit at home and stew over it alone.

#3 Resolve to look great. Looking and feeling great is a big factor when it comes to how active your sex life can be. When you are out of shape and do not feel sexy, your libido significantly falls and you are not very compelled to get it on. Your embarrassment at being unattractive and not fit enough for a romp can be quashed if you just do something about it.

The healthier and fitter you are, the more likely you will feel and act like the Energizer bunny in bed. Not just that, when you drop a few pounds and tone up the jiggly bits, your confidence level will skyrocket and you will be raring to go.

Eat right and squeeze in 30-minute exercise sessions several times a week. Whether it is turning on an exercise video and working out in your living room or going for a quick jog, you have no excuse to not look and feel sexy. All it takes is a minuscule bit of effort, and you will be looking and acting like teens in no time.

#4 Have date nights. Another way to reintroduce sex into your marriage is to start going on dates again. Perhaps one of the reasons why the sex has fizzled out is because there is a lack of intimacy between you two. Work, kids, everyday nuances and so on are responsible for taking time away from your partner. It is not okay to neglect the most important relationship that you have, so make an effort to rejuvenate your intimacy by treating yourselves to time away from reality.

Whether it is going for a movie together, having a fancy dinner or just heading out for a quick frozen yogurt treat, make the effort to spend time and experience things together. Hold hands, talk about your day and work on the connection that you once had with your spouse.

Not being physically touched and pleasured by your spouse will do you more harm than good, as it will negatively affect your mood and self esteem. So do not wait another second and do whatever you can to get jiggy with your spouse again.

 Source:familyparliament.com